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The perennial complaint


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
May 11th, 2009, 07:21 AM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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No, I won;t get a medal for a NCB. But, guess what? I didn't take the easy way out either. I made a SACRIFICE for my baby. How can you say that isn't important?

It is NOT about the 'experience', because honestly if it was about having a good experience I would take drugs, they are fun and feel ggos..lol.

And YES the drugs do pass the placenta and just because one baby was 'just fine' doe snot mean that ALL babies are just fine. Just like alcohol or other drugs during pregnancy, some babies are just fine if mom drinks 3 glasses of wine or 4 beers everyday, other babies end up with FAS. If you tell someone in a DDC that you had a glass of wine or half a beer at 38 weeks pregnant they attack you and tell you what a horrible person you are. But, if you tell an epidural mom the risks of that medication you are mean and using scare tactics.....ARGH!!!!!!! No one will take Motrin during pregnancy, even though it is class B until the 3rd trimester, but they will happily sign up for the narcotics and epidural during labor so they can 'enjoy' the experience. Yet a NCB momma is the one that is wrapped up in the experience. Am I missing the logic here?

Yup, I could get the epi and laugh through delivery. Or I can skip it work my ***** off and know I did what was best for my baby. Do I deserve a medal? No, not anymore than the mom who take sonly tylenol for her migraines becaseu teh meds might harm her developing baby. But, I am sorry I have to say getting an epidural without even attempting to go natural is the easy way out. There I said it, if anyone gets offended the can kiss my big toe!

**disclaimer, I am well aware of the fact that some women plan a NCB and opt for the epiduarl for many reasons. I did the same thing with my first vaginal birth. He was a big baby, was malpositioned and I ended up with a forceps delivery. I very well may have avoided those complications if I didn't have the eip, but I am glad I had it because I had a 3rd degree episiotomy and a 2 inch DEEP laceration inside my vaingal wall. COuld you imagine having THAT repaired without the meds?!?!?! I am not saying an epi mom is not a good mom, or that she doesn't experience child birht. Just that if I can be attacke dfor my views, I should be abnle to express mine without the condescending attitude in reply.

stepping off my soapbox...lol

And boy is my typing bad when I am riled up...sorry I don't feel like editing to five my typos.
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  #2  
May 11th, 2009, 08:46 AM
WilNat's Avatar Veteran
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Hey popping in again

I was just thinking the same thing. I am getting accused of being offensive because I talked about the risks of having an epi

I just might have to join you guys. I was hesitant because my first birth was not totally natural. I had my water broken, pitt, and I had 1 shot of stadol. But I think I'm gonna start hanging out around here just to have a place to be with people who understand my perspective.

I think it's important that women be informed, but it's hard to give information when you are always having to defend yourself.
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  #3  
May 11th, 2009, 09:53 AM
DoulaMama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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welcome Kate! what an adorable sig photo! That baby looks like he'll grow up to be a healthy eater!

Meghan- I'm right there with you, it frusturates me to no end the hypocracy.
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  #4  
May 11th, 2009, 09:59 AM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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So in a discussion it was mentioned how you shouldn't offer the pros on an epidural to a woman who may not be abllowed to have one. Just as you shouldn't offer ice cream to a diabetic and tell them how wnderful and refreshing it is.

So that was offensive because epidural= ice cream, natural = water. Um, you that is true. Ice cream is good in moderation, when used appropriately it is a good treat. Water is good and natural and really has no side effects. ICe cream is okay, but does have some risk, even if you are not diabetic. Epidural is okay but can have some risk, even if you are not on blood thinners. I can totally see the relationship
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  #5  
May 11th, 2009, 10:07 AM
WilNat's Avatar Veteran
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Thanks
I tried to use a comparison that would not hurt anyones feelings but looks like that didn't work. I never thought ice cream could be so controversial
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  #6  
May 11th, 2009, 10:31 AM
WhoaMomma!'s Avatar Danielle
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I hate that comment. I've now heard 3 people say to me "there's no award for suffering."

1) It's not "suffering" to bring a life into the world. It's beautiful and magical and all about your frame of mind.

2) I'll take a day or 2 of "suffering" with a smile on my face if it spares me weeks of suffering through a painful recovery from a c/s, instrument birth, or pushing wrong because I can't feel what I'm doing.

3) You say there's no award. And yet, when a woman announces that she gave birth naturally, people seem awed. How exactly is that not an award?

4) And....oh yeah......I get to stand up afterwards and take care of my own baby instead of being confined to a bed. That sounds like an award to me.
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  #7  
May 11th, 2009, 12:52 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so glad there is this board to come to and have people understand where I am coming from...thanks!
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  #8  
May 11th, 2009, 04:26 PM
mom2bri's Avatar Super Mommy
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Yes I thought you guys were both attacked for your points of view in our DDC, sorry. It's obvious they are willing to push their luck and not listen and what bothers me so much is that they keep calling us CRAZY for going natural, hehe! I am glad you both stood your ground.
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  #9  
May 11th, 2009, 04:45 PM
liveandlove0725's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Agree. It was just dumb. And those posting about how awesome epis are were so insensitive. The initial post SAID she's had one but probably can't get another. Duh!! UGGH, I was so fired up.

I loved the ice cream analogy and was FLOORED that someone was offended.
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  #10  
May 11th, 2009, 05:15 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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Man, DDC's are intense! I am sure I won't join one next time b/c I just don't have much online time. I barely get to post in my PR anymore and I love those ladies. It's a blessing in disquise with the new DDC....well not in disguise actually!!
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  #11  
May 11th, 2009, 05:34 PM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
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Someone in my DDC posted today that she will get a c-section at 38 weeks (2 weeks, first time momma) cause they think her baby will be too big to vaginally birth. ARE YOU ****** KIDDING ME!?!?!?!??!?!??????! ARGH.
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  #12  
May 11th, 2009, 05:42 PM
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Yep, I have thought that same thing all along. It seems to me that women are willing to sacrafice almost anything for thier baby, any food, medication, all of the discomfort, up until it's time to give birth. Then it's suddenly all about them, and no one thinks twice about it. I just don't get it...
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  #13  
May 11th, 2009, 05:47 PM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
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Quote:
Originally Posted by andi2284 View Post
Yep, I have thought that same thing all along. It seems to me that women are willing to sacrafice almost anything for thier baby, any food, medication, all of the discomfort, up until it's time to give birth. Then it's suddenly all about them, and no one thinks twice about it. I just don't get it...
However, I have had to bite my tongue in my DDC cause of some of the things they took in pregnancy. One woman was prescribed a medication, which i used to take and is NOT to be taken while pregnant or even while TTC!!!!!!! I mentioned it to her and she said her OB gave it to her so it was ok, ***? There was a big label on my medicine that said not to even take while TTC, that is pretty serious. Sigh.

I do not understand why women ignore the facts on epi's. Is it because it is so routine that they do not really believe there is anything wrong about it?

0h, is there a link to the post referred to, if not, i can hunt it down i wanna know what the ice cream analogy is
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  #14  
May 11th, 2009, 08:31 PM
The Purple Butterfly's Avatar Stacey
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I totally agree with you Meghan, but I can't help but feel bad for having to get an epi. Though it was only for an hour and half. I honestly didn't think I would have the energy to push by the time it happened (after 32hrs of labor). In hindsight, if I had known it would only be another hour and half, I wouldn't have gotten it. I honestly am grateful I did get it though since I needed to rest to get the energy I needed. I just can't help but feel bad no matter how it's sliced..... especially since it's not the way I wanted it to go.
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  #15  
May 11th, 2009, 08:48 PM
liveandlove0725's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Here you go, I just had to post in it again... ::

http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f8...rred-none.html
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  #16  
May 11th, 2009, 08:49 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by liveandlove0725 View Post
Agree. It was just dumb. And those posting about how awesome epis are were so insensitive. The initial post SAID she's had one but probably can't get another. Duh!! UGGH, I was so fired up.

I loved the ice cream analogy and was FLOORED that someone was offended.
What bugs me is I get flamed for mentioning I am having a VBAC if some one makes a comment about c-section. I am told it is wrong and insensitive, but then those same people do this. Most women have a choice about VBAC vs repeat c-section. This woman might not have a choice to get an epidural even though she has made it clear she would like one, so why would you tell her how great it is?!?!?! Talk about insensitive.

Do you remember my "Why" post? I still don't get the double standard.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mgm78 View Post
Someone in my DDC posted today that she will get a c-section at 38 weeks (2 weeks, first time momma) cause they think her baby will be too big to vaginally birth. ARE YOU ****** KIDDING ME!?!?!?!??!?!??????! ARGH.

wow That is against ACOG standards!!!! Her doctor is actually going against what he is supposed to do.
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  #17  
May 11th, 2009, 09:09 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Argh!!!! I said I wouldn't go back to the thread. I didn't listen to myself.....argh! When the topic was steered back towards the original intent, bam, rudeness!!
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  #18  
May 11th, 2009, 09:22 PM
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Quote:
I do not understand why women ignore the facts on epi's. Is it because it is so routine that they do not really believe there is anything wrong about it?
I think that's exactly what it is, when something becomes routine, people tend to look at it as more of a positive thing and ignore the negatives.
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  #19  
May 11th, 2009, 09:51 PM
liveandlove0725's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I know, right? Now let's talk about who is being offensive! Who says stuff like that? Geez.
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  #20  
May 11th, 2009, 10:05 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Well, I said my peace their. I will try my best not to go back. i don't need an argument.
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