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I really really really wanna go natural


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
June 5th, 2009, 09:15 PM
lmunoz8517's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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ok now that i am done with my toddler style temper tantrum let me introduce myself. My name is Lauren. DH and I have been married almost 4 years. We have a 4 year old, a 2 year old, and an angel. We are also expecting again in December. With Christian and Chloe my births were as medicated as possible. I was induced with both, had pitocin and my water broken and an epidural. i wanna go natural and I know I can I just worry. Let me tell you about my two deliveries.

With Christian they startd my pitocin around 5am. I honestly dont remember when the contractions started but I know they didnt hurt at all until the broke my water at 7am. Then they started hurting. They never got bad though, when they realized I was 7cm they told me it was now or never on the epidural. I was playing cards and perfectly content and said ok lets do it. An hour after I got the epidural christian was bown at 2:46. 9 hours and 46 minutes after the piocen started. I dont know how much worse it would of gotten in that hour, but I was honestly not uncomfortable when I got my epi. Like I said I was playing cards and when I had a contraction I just layed back and paused then continued like it was nothing. I really think i could of made it another hour.

Then there is Chloe. With her they again started pitocen around 5am. They broke my water at 6 am. the contractions came fast and hard. At 8:15 AM I got my epidural, I was 5 cm. at 8:30 I told dh she was coming out, he said no way you are only 5 cm after 5 minutes of arguing he ran into the hall to get a nurse. . .not sure why he didnt use the call nurse button. She ran in and went to check me but instead found me crowning. The dr ran in and barely caught her. She was born at 8:52. 3 hours and 52 minutes after they started pitoin and only 37 minutes after I got my epi. Yes i was in pain with Chloe but I could of handled another 37 minutes i am sure.

So with that being said i have had two relativley short births. The thing that I wonder is were they that short because i was induced or is that just how my body does? I had an episiodomy with Christian and tore with Chloe. Healing from the tear was much easier than from the episiodomy, but how bad will a tear hurt without drugs and if it has to be stiched is there something local they can give me to stitch it up? My other question is if I was fine until 7 cm how bad is that last 3 cm is that where it gets really bad?

I do have another concern. My dh. He is a great husband and dad but is clueless in the delivery room. I do not think there is any way he would give me the support I need to stay natural the whole time. My mil is great at getting me washcloths and such and I know she will do whatever i need but is that enough? i would love a doula but how much does one of those cost?? And do they count as one of the two people I can have in or do the count as staff cause i cant kick my mil or dh out of the room i need them.

Ok I know thats a lot, I appriciate any imput you may have cause I am clueless about where to even begin and i know I should start planning now.
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  #2  
June 6th, 2009, 12:07 AM
ninja_mommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Ok, so I have no experience yet, but I will offer my two cents.
It sounds like you have a good track record with the short labors. From what I have researched the last cm, like 6-10, come fast and hard. Like you said, yours were really short, so I know you can do it.
But, on the other hand many women know how each birth can differ so much. So this one might drag and the pitocin might have been what was helping you move so fast before.
Just some things to consider, but you have lots of time! GL, but I know you can do it!
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  #3  
June 6th, 2009, 04:55 AM
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I think you can definitely do it!

The first question, why were you induced with your previous labors? Avoiding induction will also give you a better chance with going natural. Contractions with pitocin are stronger and harder, and usually much more painful. I can't say for sure where your pain level would have gone after you got the epidural with your previous births, because everyone is different. For me, my contractions got more intense and closer together in transition. Pushing can also be pretty intense, but it's relief at the same time.

If you prepare yourself though, you have a very good chance. You've had 2 babies and even with pitocin, your body seems to be very efficient in labor. I would guess you wouldn't be looking at a very long labor this time even if you avoid induction. I'd start with a good natural childbirth book that will give you an idea of your options. I read The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth and found it very helpful. A doula would also be a great investment! I think it's very important to have someone there to really support you and help through your labor. Most doulas are a few hundred dollars, but I believe many will also work with you on a payment plan, if you can't afford it. You could also look for a doula still in training, I've heard they charge less.

With the right mindset and preparation, you can do this. Stick around here too, and you might find other threads helpful
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  #4  
June 6th, 2009, 05:01 AM
soImarriedAnerd's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Lets see if I can help with some stuff.....
yes if you did tear again you would get a local to help stitch you up if any was needed. (pushing position/massages/warm compress can help to not tear in the first place).
Doulas vary in price BIG TIME depending on your area ($300-$1400), you sometimes can find practicing doulas who need a certain number of births to attend to get their certification for free of very low price (they are trained just not a ton of experience yet), and "usually" doulas do not count in the hospital setting as one of your people (would have to check with your location on that!). Many midwives are doula-like with support and tend to be more natural birth friendly (just throwing that out there you may want to look into it).
Sounds like you would have NO problems doing natural birth!
Congrats on your pregnancy and to the board!
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  #5  
June 6th, 2009, 06:35 AM
lmunoz8517's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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thanks everyone, i will look into a doula. With my previous two I was told they had gotten to a size that the dr didnt want them to get and bigger because of the size of my pelvis and the positioning of my uterus. Well he went to jail for malpractice so i really dont trust his opinion anymore. I did love him though. Anyway i have a new dr and I havent talked to him about it but I figured I am going to just not bring it up and see if he says something about it on his own. i dont think he will though because after doing some research it is very rare for a pelvis to be to small. There might of been some truth to it though because he did do ultrasounds every week for the last few weeks to measure the babies head, nothing else just the head. once the head got to the magic number i was induce and both kids were only a few ounces apart in size. do you think i should talk to my new dr about it before I get furthur along? I was so young with my first only 17 I just went with what the dr told me and the same for my second but now I know its my baby, my body, my birth plan sorta thing. Thanks for reading my super long post!
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  #6  
June 6th, 2009, 06:55 AM
Kelllilee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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while it's true that a pelvis too small is pretty rare, I think a lot of doctors don't understand that laying on your back to deliver MAKES the pelvis smaller. Because the majority of births they see are in that position, they probably see a LOT more "stuck" babies and "too small" pelvises, when that really isn't the case. It's sadly very common to do late term ultrasounds and tell women they need induced because the baby is "too large"

If you are truly wanting a natural childbirth, I would talk to your doctor about it NOW, so if you find he isn't very supportive you have time to switch. I think it's VERY important that your provider be on the same page with you about the delivery.

For example, you'll want to know if you have a provider that is going to push for induction the day after your due date (or before), require you to have an IV, continuous fetal monitoring, etc... Ask how many completely natural (and use the term intervention-free, some doctors view any vaginal birth as "natural") he's attended. What his views on childbirth are, and so on.

you might consider a midwife also. Keep in mind that most OBs are only going to be at the birth intermittently (if at all) and then show up to catch the baby. They aren't there for labor support, while most midwives will be with you throughout.
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  #7  
June 6th, 2009, 07:16 AM
lmunoz8517's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think i found a doula. I talked to her for 2 hours on the phone. of course I still need to meet her to make sure but she seemed to really understand where I was coming from. And she is very affordable, only $400! I told her about my past births and my experience with being basically bullied into induction and an epidural. She told me she knew of the dr. She also told me the hospital i am delivering at is not NCB friendly but she would be there to remind the nurses if they ask if I was an epidural. She is happy to have my kids in the room as long as I comfortable with them being in there. She had one medicated birth due to complications but delivered her other 3 naturally. I am really looking forward to meeting her. She suggested some books and local classes in the area to look in to and she said what ever method I chose she will help me through it. Maybe a naturaul child birth is a possibility for me after all. DH just would not be the coach I need, he says his job is to cut the cord and take pictures. So yea hoping our meeting goes well!

I am gonna talk to my dr about all of these things and if he doesnt seem to be on the same page as me she told me of a few that deliver at a different, more NCB friendly hospital.
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  #8  
June 6th, 2009, 07:29 AM
GranolaMamaOf3's Avatar ~Heather~
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After reading what you posted, I dont think you'll have any trouble at all! My understanding is that, when induced, things can (and normally do) go slower...So that being said, I don't think you have anything to worry about!
When I gave birth to my DS, he had is hand up by his face, and I tore...honestly, I didn't even know it til my midwife told me she needed to stitch me (I was actually kinda surprised!)...So in my opinion, no, it doesn't hurt. (but I suppose that could be different for others)
Glad you found a Doula! Hope all goes well for you at your meeting!
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  #9  
June 6th, 2009, 07:35 AM
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Im so glad to see you here!!! Both of our DDC hosts are NCB mamas!!!! (You have no idea how excited that makes me haha).

Ok I agree with everyone else that you can do it. My first labor was induced and it was still over 12 hours long. My second not induced was over 14 hours. So I apparently just have longer labors than some. It sounds to me like you could have easily done both of your other children all natural.

I went from about a 6-7 to my DD being born in 1 hour. That was the only intense "painful" time. And to me that one hour was nothing compared to me recovering from the effects of the epidural and other drugs during my first birth. I hated the numbing feeling and the shakes that I got. And the the meds made me throw up so much. Anyways I guess what Im saying is when you get to that last little bit where you cant take it anymore its over. The baby is there.

Thats great that you found a doula! The cheapest one I have found so far is 550... Im still considering but Im going to keep looking for a better price.
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  #10  
June 6th, 2009, 07:51 AM
lmunoz8517's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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When I was getting my epidural with Chloe I guess he hit something when going in but I got faint, hot, lightheaded, and for a plit second thought I was about to die. I cant even explain that horrific feeling. I think 6 hours of pain would be better than that feeling, even the chance of the feeling. And I hate using a bed pan. . . Seriously not fun. Yea this is the route for me. Now to get to doing classes and reading.
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  #11  
June 6th, 2009, 09:41 AM
LindensMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Congrats on your pregnancy!

I just wanted to tell you that you will be able to have your NCB. Read, read read, be prepared for the birth and you will be able to! =)
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  #12  
June 6th, 2009, 09:58 AM
liveandlove0725's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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All the comments have been fantastic so far, not much more to add except to agree with everyone that you seem to be a great position to have an NCB and I'm thrilled you were able to find a doula!! I'm so excited for you.
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  #13  
June 6th, 2009, 10:13 AM
lmunoz8517's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Can I do this without my dh's support? I mean seriously he does not want me to do it at all. He says I should just take the epidural so I can enjoy childbirth and relax. He said if I start yelling he is gonna lave the room. I really wanna be like fine then thats why i will have a doula. He doesnt understand how horrible the epidural is. He says I can't handle the pain. I am not even gonna bother trying to frag him to classes. I will just do them by myself. Its my body so my choice. He wont even talk about it he just thinks it is stupid. Imma have to stop cause I am crying so Ill finish later.

oh and one other thing. he said he is not gonna put up with me whining more than i did when I got the epidural. I told him I dont remember whining at all he said of course not you were drugged. I really just wanna scream exactly. then he wants to know why this baby in more special than the other ones why they didnt deserve a natural childbirth if it was better. I didnt know any better I was 17. i did what the dr and nurse said to do. Why cant he at least be open minded to talk about it? Can I make it without his support and just my doula and mother in laws support
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  #14  
June 6th, 2009, 12:48 PM
Kelllilee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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it may make it harder especially if he's in the room with you complaining or constantly urging you to get an epi. You have time to turn him around though, don't lose hope yet. There are some great resources out there for getting him on the same page as you.

The Doula will be able to help you though if he's still not supportive.
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  #15  
June 6th, 2009, 02:26 PM
lmunoz8517's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I honestly don't see him changing his mind. He is one of those once his mind is made up its made up and he doesn't even want to discuss anything else. i really wish he would at least listen to my side and view but he said I am just being stupid. He won't do class or anything with me so why should his opinion even matter. I guess if he annoys me too much Ill kick him out or have my doula and mil tie him to a chait with duck tape to his mouth.
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  #16  
June 6th, 2009, 06:25 PM
rachna's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Welcome and congrats, It sounds like you are on the right track, and I completely think you can do this! I am sorry your husband isnt being supportive of you,
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  #17  
June 7th, 2009, 07:19 AM
DoulaMama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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honestly, it sounds like maybe he shouldn't attend your labor. Maybe he can come only to the birth. His presence and crappy attitude won't help, and it could ruin your experience. Enviroment is extremely important.
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  #18  
June 7th, 2009, 07:44 AM
lmunoz8517's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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yea I think I will give him a few days and talk to him again and tell him that even if he doesnt understand I really want to do this and with out his support it is gonna be hard but i am still gonna do it. I will let him know how much I really want him to be a part of this and maybe that will help.
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  #19  
June 7th, 2009, 08:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lmunoz8517 View Post
yea I think I will give him a few days and talk to him again and tell him that even if he doesnt understand I really want to do this and with out his support it is gonna be hard but i am still gonna do it. I will let him know how much I really want him to be a part of this and maybe that will help.
I hope the talk goes well. Let us know. Hugs.
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  #20  
June 7th, 2009, 11:57 AM
lmunoz8517's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I guess now he is neutral. He is not against it but not for it so that is at least progress. He did tell me he wont be able to help me through the pain because he cant handle me being in that kind of pain but he will still be there and do what he can if this is what I really wanna do.
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