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Natural Childbirth stories versus not


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  #1  
July 11th, 2009, 05:41 PM
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First let me say, I've had several kinds of births, and only one was fully natural, so maybe thats where my opinion on this comes from, but I wonder if I'm alone.

I do think all babies being born is special no matter how they get here, but when I'm reading a birth story I'm always all excited maybe the person had a natural birth and then when they say epidural the story just loses the magic for me (the labor and birth magic, it's still just as magical that a new life has been brought into the world)

is it just me? I just really enjoy natural birth stories more and I find I have more enthusiasm about them. Like, in one case I can congratulate on the arrival of baby and in the other case I cancongradulate on the arrival of baby AND on the birth.

I do also admire those who go to hell and back trying and end up with a truly medically necessary c-section. I did have a friend recently who had a planned c-section for full placenta previa (her first two were natural births and she was really upset about this) and in her case I was just proud of how brave she was (not that she had a choice) about the whole thing... but yea, Id rather read natural birth stories, I must admit...
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  #2  
July 11th, 2009, 05:59 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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NCB stories do tend to have a more of a "Hero's Journey" vibe to them for me. But I do think that since I have been co-host here, almost any birth story of a women who spent her pregnancy here on this board gets me emotional, if it was a "successful" NCB or not. I think it's different when you know the person. Or at least online.
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  #3  
July 11th, 2009, 06:14 PM
Kelllilee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I kinda feel the same way. I think often the NCB stories are just worded differently. Seems like a lot of times the moms are more "in-tune" with their body and the process and so they just say things in a different way.

That said, I still do enjoy most birth stories. I do tend to get irked at ones that go "wrong" and it's obvious to me what happened but I can't say anything.
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  #4  
July 11th, 2009, 06:19 PM
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I hear you on that Kelllilee

As for people you know, I still get this way - where I find the birth really exciting, but when they say they got an epidural the magic of the birth process itself just isn't quite the same anymore.

I do feel differently for those who tried for NCB and something went wrong that prevented it though, I find their stories both happy and sad.

I guess its like this
Attempted and successful NCB - very exciting and emotional to read about both labor birth and arrival
attempted and unsuccessful NCB - bitter sweet. I am so sad things didnt go as they planned but SO happy baby is okay and happy for them that the baby is here
Other births - very happy about the arrival of the baby and excited for the mother to have the baby with her.

just different for me I guess.
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  #5  
July 11th, 2009, 08:19 PM
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I tend to agree with Kellilee on this. The mothers that usually write their stories about NCB tend to word them differently, better. There's more emotion behind the words so I tend to feel more connected. Plus, I can totally relate to those stories and the emotions they go through and the sheer exuberance at getting to have a birth the way they wanted.

There are definitely some c-section stories and medical intervention birth stories that make me feel just as connected. The word epidural doesn't kill a story for me, but the way a woman tells it definitely can.
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  #6  
July 11th, 2009, 08:38 PM
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I disagree, I think epidural stories are almost just as amazing and magical. But then again, I did have an epidural for my son. I don't think I worked less than someone who had a natural birth either. The drugs wore off after 2 hours and I felt everything. It was the hardest thing I've done. C-section stories definitely lose their magic for me though.
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Last edited by bostoncreampie; July 11th, 2009 at 08:40 PM.
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  #7  
July 12th, 2009, 12:31 AM
BoobyDutyAgainJen's Avatar Proud Mom & Birth Mom
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I agree in a way. As someone who has had a completely full intervention filled birth as well as a natural induction(if there is such a thing lol) I definitely feel a better magic and understanding of the more natural delivery. Her triumph sort of becomes mine, if that makes sense. I don't feel that a birth with an epidural is any less tremendous but I certainly don't find it as compelling.
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  #8  
July 12th, 2009, 02:47 AM
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i agree with this for the ost part. i think there are some cases where NCB just isnt possible..but uneducated people who just do "whatever the dr says" and have their birth on someone elses schedule (there is a first time mom in my ddc who is setting a scheduled c-section because she is measuring big, she wants her daughter born on an even numbered day, and she says her pelvis is too small to give birth...and to me that is annoying! and there is no magic, no passion, and no excitement in that situation to me!
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  #9  
July 12th, 2009, 06:33 AM
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Well, as I said, I have had more epidural births then not, so I'm not like some birth snob or anything lol One was full epidural, one was a low dose that worse off. So, maybe its the being able to compare the births from personal experience that have be experiencing the stories differently. I still find the actually arrival of the baby just as magical no matter how they got here.

I have heard of c-section stories that I found to be inspiring as well. Sometimes there is nothing you can do. Some women labor for 48 hours, and get stuck at 9 or fully dilate but just can't get the baby out. Or truly have no choice (like my friend with fulll placenta previa) and I don't think they lose the magic of their story just for having a c-section, I think its just as magical, it just adds a bittersweetness to it because in the end they still did what was best for their child, but they had to sacrifice something important to them to do it. What a strong women that is, in my eyes.

Leilas mom jen you worded it well. It's still magic, just not as compelling. It's loses the natural element, which is something that I really enjoy in the story. the I DID it, the I am women here me roar, the this is what my body was designed to do element that I just really enjoy.

I can say this about anything really. I LOVE stories. I love to read , and I love to write. What do I write? Paranormal Romance. Why? because it's what I love to read. I read other books that I like are really awesome, but they don't have the same element that I find compelling to me. And so it's the same with birth stories. I love to read about natural birth more then not. I loved to have natural births more then not. There is a magic (for me) that is different there. An added element that is missing from a doctored up birth.

Oh I will admit, if I don't know the person I don't care to read about a medical intervention birth, because there are plenty of NCB stories out there that can be read. If I know the person, of course I want to know how their birth went and see pictures of their baby. It does make a difference if you know the person.

But if you said "here's a story on NCB, and here's a story where the woman gets an epidural. Other then that, they are pretty much typical births, one typical for a home birth one typical for a hospital birth. You have only enough time to read one story. You don't know either people."
Well, I'm going to pick the NCB one, but thats just me
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  #10  
July 13th, 2009, 09:23 AM
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I think birth stories lose their magic when you can pick up on the Mom's lack of strength or endurance. When they just want a quick fix, you know? I desperately tried to have a NCB with my son but ended up in the hospital. It was very difficult for me to read successful NCB stories for a while. I was very bitter about how things turned out. Before my sons birth I would read a story about intervention and think "well, she just didn't do everything she could have" but now I understand that not all births can be intervention free. Bottom line- I think it's beautiful when a Mom tries to do what's best for baby.
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  #11  
July 13th, 2009, 10:39 AM
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The NCB stories are definitely inspirational for me, both before my dd was born and after (although my inspiration for the stories now has shifted). But it all depends on the circumstances and the mindset of the mom that make the story special for me.
I think a woman who has a successful vbac with an epidural is more meaningful than a first-time mom who had an epidural as soon as she walked into the hospital. I've read c-section birth stories that are meaningful because it's a peaceful repeat while the first one was very traumatic and mom was knocked out.

And on the flip side, I have a coworker who had a completely natural delivery because her child was born in the waiting room because no one believed her.She wanted drugs and has a bit of a negative view of the birth because of the fact that it didn't go how she wanted and no one believed her at the hospital. I certainly don't find her story very magical, although I am envious.
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  #12  
July 13th, 2009, 10:41 AM
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However a baby makes it into this world it's a beautiful event to welcome that new life. I get excited for NCB stories more so because the mom got the birth she wanted and it's satisfying to find her find strength in herself and beauty in the process. But I've read amazing stories like the one just posted on this forum about epidural births that are just as emotional and connected and the woman is knowledgable and sticking up for herself. I do agree with Cheryl, that after knowing the women better on this board, Im excited for them no matter what since I know them but again I'm particularly excited to read their story if it was a successful NCB, more so because I worry about the mom's disappointment if she didn't get it.
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  #13  
July 13th, 2009, 12:30 PM
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I also wanted to add that women all take to epidurals differently. Some women hardly feel the effects of it, and other women get so drugged up that they can't even move their legs. So to make a judgement about how hard a woman labored with an epidural is sort of impossible.
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  #14  
July 13th, 2009, 01:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kristenpie View Post
I also wanted to add that women all take to epidurals differently. Some women hardly feel the effects of it, and other women get so drugged up that they can't even move their legs. So to make a judgement about how hard a woman labored with an epidural is sort of impossible.
I agree, and it's also important to consider how hard she labored BEFORE she got the epidural.
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  #15  
July 13th, 2009, 02:14 PM
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I think we need to be careful that this thread doesn't start being about a particular woman's birth choices. We are simply talking about what STORIES we like to read, not what choices we agree with (or not).
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  #16  
July 13th, 2009, 02:18 PM
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I agree that birth of any kind is an amazing thing. I think the thing that saddens me is when a mother hasn't prepared and is uneducated like Chelsea said and just goes into it with the idea to just do whatever the doctor wants her to do.
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  #17  
July 13th, 2009, 06:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelllilee View Post
I think we need to be careful that this thread doesn't start being about a particular woman's birth choices. We are simply talking about what STORIES we like to read, not what choices we agree with (or not).
Oh I was just responding to the idea that reading stories of drugged moms loses it's magic because the endurance and strength isn't there. Just sayin it's hard to assume how much strength and endurance they actually had since everyone takes to drugs differently.
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  #18  
July 13th, 2009, 08:54 PM
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I've been reading stories on empoweredchildbirth.com trying to get as "empowered" as possible for my impending labor lol and they are sooooo awesome. Almost every one I've read has had me in tears. Could be the hormones, but I doubt it. Birth stories always have me in tears, and I am so not a crier lol.
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  #19  
July 14th, 2009, 08:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brittnic View Post
I think birth stories lose their magic when you can pick up on the Mom's lack of strength or endurance. When they just want a quick fix, you know? I desperately tried to have a NCB with my son but ended up in the hospital. It was very difficult for me to read successful NCB stories for a while. I was very bitter about how things turned out. Before my sons birth I would read a story about intervention and think "well, she just didn't do everything she could have" but now I understand that not all births can be intervention free. Bottom line- I think it's beautiful when a Mom tries to do what's best for baby.
I agree completely with your bottom line. Thats why there are even stories that end in csections that I find really inspirational, but I feel so sad for the mom at the same time because she REALLY wanted a natural birth and another mama who maybe could have had one has a planned c-section so the baby can be born on a certain day. just makes me sad when it works out that way, ya know

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShaunaB View Post
However a baby makes it into this world it's a beautiful event to welcome that new life. I get excited for NCB stories more so because the mom got the birth she wanted and it's satisfying to find her find strength in herself and beauty in the process. But I've read amazing stories like the one just posted on this forum about epidural births that are just as emotional and connected and the woman is knowledgable and sticking up for herself. I do agree with Cheryl, that after knowing the women better on this board, Im excited for them no matter what since I know them but again I'm particularly excited to read their story if it was a successful NCB, more so because I worry about the mom's disappointment if she didn't get it.
I agree. You really put it well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelllilee View Post
I think we need to be careful that this thread doesn't start being about a particular woman's birth choices. We are simply talking about what STORIES we like to read, not what choices we agree with (or not).
Thank you. Thats all I'm saying is that NCB stories have a DIFFERENT kind of magic, and its the kind I prefer to read about, thats all. Maybe because I know when I read a planned NCB story that is successful I know for sure its a women who tried, a women who saw its importance, and a woman who wasn't let down. Happy story and happy ending in every way, ya know. There's just this fairytale magic about that in my eyes that just isnt there when things go wrong or the mama doesn't try. Doesn't mean the woman didn't do what was best for her baby or that the babies arrival is any less special in anyway, just the story loses the "NCB fairytale" that I enjoy reading so much. And I'm just being honest, that if I read a story of someone I don't know and then I get to the part where they get th epidural that I'm like darn! this isn't going to be one of those stories that I always look forward too.
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  #20  
July 14th, 2009, 12:04 PM
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I'm always very impressed when I read of NCB's! But I'm just totally thrilled if I read one where the mom went in hoping for one. Anymore it seems like everyone just goes in planning their epidural and that is kind of sad.
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