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I know I've become a ghost around here, and I wanted to just give an update/reason why. I still come in and read and check on you all and I have missed you all very much! I've been dealing with a lot of guilt, some physical yucky-ness and emotional stuff.
I don't know if any of you remember how sick I kept getting with upper respiratory stuff while I was pregnant with Brennen, but it has come back to get me again. The pain in my lungs, ribs and the constant coughing and chest congestion is back with a vengance. I have no energy whatsoever the last month and find it very hard to even get out of bed and keep up with my children. Over the past few weeks I started losing drastic amounts of hair. I'm not talking your normal PP cyclematic hairloss, either. My hair was coming out in handfuls and breaking off. I just cut all my hair off last week because I couldn't take it anymore. I've had joint and muscle pain which has kept me from exercising the way I was for the first couple months after Brennen was born. I just feel like I am falling apart. I've been terribly irritable and so down on myself. To make matters worse, my milk dried up and I have had to put Brennen on formula. It's killing my spirit.
I was talking to Stacey the other day (Hampton 6) and telling her about the hair loss and some of my other symptoms and she told me that it really sounds like a lot of the things people experience when they have thyroid problems. After discussing everything with her, she made me realize I needed to try to get some answers. So I called my midwife and she ordered me a bloodtest right away when I told her what all was going on. I just got my results today and I have TSH and T4 levels indicative of Hypothyroidism. This would explain everything! I talked to my mom and aunt the other day and my aunt and 2 cousins also have this disorder. One of my great-aunts actually suffered from a thyroid condition so severe that her thyroid was removed completely after years of treatment.
Anyway, I am beyond relief to have an answer finally and will begin taking medication tomorrow. I will get in to see my regular doctor and have also scheduled an appt. with a specialist that Stacey recommended in October. I just want to feel better and be able to keep up with my family the way I used to. I'm thankful to have a friend like Stacey who took the time out of her busy day to listen to me and help me try to find an answer.
Also, my mom - who has suffered from M.S. for 22 years - found out last month she has a brain tumor in the frontal lobe behind her eyes. We're all dealing with this and trying to help her out the best we can. I am taking her to appts. and in a couple weeks we will go meet with the best Neuro Opthalmologist in GA. We won't have more information on this until then. It's been really stressful for my mom and all of us, because stress is so hard on people with M.S. She is chronic progressive, and has been in a wheelchair for years, but this stress from the news of the tumor is really breaking her down.
Anyway, I don't want this to seem like a poor me post. I just wanted to tell you what's been going on, why I haven't been around and that I miss you all very much.
Brennen is doing wonderfully! Growing like a weed. I can't believe he is over 14 weeks old already. We go to see the pediatrician on Aug 6th for his 4 month check up. At his 2 month check up he weighed 14 lbs and 4 oz and was 25.5 inches long! He is going to be a big boy like DH who is 6'4. I was able to breastfeed him until about 7 weeks when I started having problems with my supply. I had enough frozen milk that I had pumped for another 2 weeks and he's been on formula since then. I feel like a loser for all of that, but what can I do? I have not one drop of milk left in me. I tried herbal supplements to help and reglan.
Here's a couple pics of the kiddos and my big little man!
I hope you all are doing great and I will try to be better about checking in more often.
I'm sorry to hear about the health problems you've been suffering. I'm glad that you have some answers now and can get on some meds to help out with the hypothyroidism. I'm also sorry to hear about your mother. I hope that all will go well for her with the neurologist also.
Brennan is a beautiful little boy and your other two children are also very cute.
aw, sorry to read the update Two of my patients had very bad thyroid problems after having their babies. It is not uncommon I guess. I am glad you are starting to get answers and will feel better soon. I cannot imagine feeling like that with a baby to care for.
As far as the breastmilk, you did everything you could. It sucks, but you did the best you could and gave him more than a couple months of your breastmilk.
Honey HUGS! Happy you're finding answers to your own health problems lately but so sad to hear about your mom. I hope her prognosis is hoepful after her appointment. My thoughts go to her and your family while you're dealing with all of this.
Brennen is just the cutest thing ever! Please don't feel guilty about something you could not control. We all know what an amazing mother you are, supermom in fact. Not being able to breastfeed due to your own body doesn't diminish that in the slightest. You are still Supermom to me!
Oh honey, you are doing the best you can. I'm so glad you have some answers now and that you start feeling much better soon. We miss you around here but I totally understand why you've been mia. HUGS!!!
Glad I could help P... you were the one who mentioned the hair loss... we probably wouldn't have known otherwise. I'm sorry about your mom and I'll be praying for you! Goodness, Bren is a mommy protector!
Stacey, wife to Allan & Mom to:
Anastasia (13)- C/S 8lbs 7oz, 20.5"
Noah (11)- C/S 8lbs 12oz, 19"
Oliver (5)- VBA2C 7lbs 3oz, 19.5"
Baby Grayson born sleeping at 39w pg due to thrombophelia;
Protein S and Protein C deficient, Factor V Leiden , & MTHFR
(10/16/13)- 2VBA2C 9lbs 12oz, 22" My Chart