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Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
July 29th, 2009, 07:22 AM
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So I was watching a Baby Story or something like that. Ok I take that back I was just reading what that episode was about and I saw it was a surrogate mother giving birth. Ive been really curious and have felt compelled in the past to be a surrogate mother so I watched it to learn about the process. Anyways the mother of course gets an induction and an epidural and everything else. (The nurse actually told the baby in her tummy "I dont care how comfortable you are you are coming out today"... Barf).

So my question for you is if you were ever a surrogate (lets say that you were one not if you would ever be one or not) would you have a NCB for that baby too? What if you were forced to give birth in a hospital (which Im sure you would be)? Would you be a surrogate for a couple that didnt share the same natural childbirth ideals as you?
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  #2  
July 29th, 2009, 07:28 AM
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NCB is as much for me as the baby. I am terrified of being cut, or drugged, or losing any feeling of control.
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  #3  
July 29th, 2009, 07:40 AM
Kelllilee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I would still do a NCB. There was actually an interesting discussion (I think in the debate boards) about whether or not the person who you are a surrogate for has a say in the birth/medications...
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  #4  
July 29th, 2009, 07:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snow Mami View Post
NCB is as much for me as the baby. I am terrified of being cut, or drugged, or losing any feeling of control.
Totally agree with this. I would absolutely still have a NCB, even if I wasn't keeping the baby for my own. I would still want that baby to have the best chance at a smooth transition into the world and for them to come when they were actually ready.
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  #6  
July 29th, 2009, 09:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelllilee View Post
I would still do a NCB. There was actually an interesting discussion (I think in the debate boards) about whether or not the person who you are a surrogate for has a say in the birth/medications...

I cant find the debate. But I did find some interesting debates on homebirth/freebirth.
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  #7  
July 29th, 2009, 09:09 AM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
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i would want a NCB but if they wanted me to deliver in a hospital i would. the average cost for a surrogate is $80,000 for the family that hires her, so you have to respect their wishes. it would all be in the contract prior to te agreement.
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  #8  
July 29th, 2009, 09:32 AM
rachna's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I would want a NCB, I don't know why a family would try to make me have an epidural if I didn't want one. But I would want NCB regardless. I do not think I could ever be a surrogate though,
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  #9  
July 29th, 2009, 09:44 AM
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I assume they'd want you to deliver in a hospital vs a birth center or at home. I'd respect their wishes but I'd never let them force me into an epi or pitocin usage if I didn't think it was necessary. I think I might make sure were on the same page regarding birth before I'd agree to do it.

Such a good question!
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  #10  
July 29th, 2009, 10:17 AM
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I'd still want a NCB, of course. Best possible outcome for me and baby. But I would make sure the family and I were on the same page long before I decided to carry their baby.
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  #11  
July 29th, 2009, 10:23 AM
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I don't think the 'parents' should have any say in how the birth mother gives birth, that sounds so infuriating. But Lord only knows how I'd go about birthing a surrogate baby, it's really impossible for me to even guess because that's not something I'd ever do anyway.. sorry I didn't really give you any good input with that lol.
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  #12  
July 29th, 2009, 10:24 AM
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I wouldn't want to be a surrogate before I finished my own family most likely, but I would consider it, especially if future pregnancies are easier on me.

I would still plan to homebirth unless that was no longer the safest option, and would only be ok with 1 embryo being implanted. I would get ultrasounds and such for the parents benefit, which I choose not to do for my own child/ren. All these things would be agreed upon beforehand.
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  #13  
July 29th, 2009, 02:02 PM
monica8's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I probably would only be a surrogate to someone that has a similar lifeview as me, so I think that I'd want a NCB and would hope that's what they wanted for their baby, too. I just couldn't imagine having to be friendly with people for 9 months (with low patience and hormones) if I thought they weren't grounded.
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  #14  
July 29th, 2009, 03:00 PM
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I don't know if I could ever be a surrogate, but I would definitely still try to have a NCB. Although it may be a little bit harder to do when you have so many people being involved in the birthing process. Like many have already said- it should be discussed and agreed upon beforehand.
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  #15  
July 29th, 2009, 03:50 PM
TheOtherMichelle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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It's tricky, and to avoid it turning nasty it really has to be spelled out ahead of time and put into contract. What if the parents are of the mindset that anything past 40 weeks is late and dangerous, and insist on induction? What if surrogate mom has had a prior c-section and wants to vbac? Can they force her to have surgery? Or on the flip side, what if they both agree to NCB, but during labor the mom finds she can't cope, would she be denied pain relief because it isn't in the contract?

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  #16  
July 29th, 2009, 03:53 PM
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the debate was a long time ago so it might not be there any more

On the other side, what if the birth mom wants an epi but the other doesn't want the baby to be exposed to the drugs...

it'd be such a tricky situation!
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  #17  
July 29th, 2009, 09:11 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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yeah it's an interesting question. I would want a natural child birth, for myself and the baby. I can imagine there must be situations where the family getting the baby might want the birth mom to have surgery, thinking it was safer, that could be a big problem. If anyone has seen that movie baby mama it touches on the whole issue and is sorta funny.
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  #18  
July 30th, 2009, 10:59 AM
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this is a very interesting question, i had never thought of this before. i've never been through NCB, this will be my first experience with that, but i would have to say that it would really depend on how the pregnancy went, and the mindset of the parents. I know NCB is usually healthier for both mom and baby, but then there are things that come up, like mom just being so exhausted and needing/wanting an epi. also, i've heard the risks to baby increase if you are past due, but i dont know all the numbers and stats on that. i really think that for me, i couldn't really answer that until i was in that situation.
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  #19  
July 30th, 2009, 01:33 PM
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I would insist on delivering the way my doc and I agree are best for the baby. I would not let them force an epi on me anyway!! They should be happy I'd want a NCB for the sake of their baby!
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