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I have my next appt on Monday and I want to talk to her about some of my delivery preferences to make sure she is going to be supportive of my plans. I didn't really know anything about NCB when I found my OB practice and was assigned to the midwife, so I am hoping the fact that she IS a midwife will make her open to my choices. I would hate to change providers this late, but I don't want to get stuck with someone delivering my baby who doesn't support me.
Anyway.... wondering how to best approach telling her what I want. I have read that sometimes if things are not presented in the right way, some providers get a little defensive. These are the main things I want to tell her:
Not to offer any pain meds, I will ask if I change my mind.
Wait til cord stops pulsing to clamp or cut.
No IV preferably
Want to be able to move around freely during labor
No visitors in the delivery room besides my doula, baby's father and my best friend. (maybe this is more for nurses than midwife)
I think my biggest concern is to make sure she isnt one of those doctors you read about that are in a hurry for my labor to be done and making recommendations to rush my delivery. I don't think she is like that, we have talked a little about it and she said that she encourages me to labor at home as long as possible, so that will help.
If anyone has any suggestions or questions they think I should ask, please let me know, Thanks!
I changed offices when I was 17 weeks myself and was so glad I did. I not only switched providers but also the hospital, to a smaller quieter and NCB friendly one.
I would just be genuine and ask what their experiences with NCB are, as well as the others in the office, since you might get one of them. You can ask for their section stats are, episiotomy etc....they have to tell you. You should also ask about the hospital they deliver at. I didn't like the office I was using but also I heard horror stories about the hospital they used, which was a huge part of my decision to switch.
I do think it's important to be nice about asking, but don't be so afraid of offending your midwife or doc that you don't get the answers to your questions.
as with any situation, your best line of defense is to do your research and know what you are talking about. Some docs tend to assume that patients don't know anything about what they facing (in this case, birth) so sometimes they make crap up or try to talk down or in circles. Be aware and pay attention to the phrases they use.
Good Luck on Monday. I am working with a midwife. And I just decided yesterday at our appt that I was going to have a NCB at 33 weeks! I have noticed (seen a few midwives) that midwives are much more open to how you want things done.
Be honest about what you want. Ask her about her birth philosophy, how often she does certain interventions (i.e. labor augmentation, episiotomy, how often she calls for c-sections, etc). You need to find out if she is a midwife or "medwife" (i.e. OB-lite). In many cases, if a midwife works with an OB practice they are more likely to follow the ideology of that practice (and hospital for that matter).
Also, it's never to late to change practices if you feel uncomfortable. With DS I switched from an OB/hospital to a free-standing birth center with midwives at 37 weeks! I sent the OB office some flowers to be nice (and for closure for myself). I don't regret that decision at all!