[MRM]

Okay- I'm 2 days short of 35 weeks and I am starting to think "I can't do this!"

I've had a rough few weeks pain wise and am going in for an ultrasound this week as they think I may have gallstones. I was doing really well till I started having this pain on my right side that is so intense. At first I was told it was probably just rib pain. I started thinking if this is rib pain and it's making me crumple over and cry there is NO WAY I can handle labor!

So, did you ever doubt yourself and if so what did you do to get back on track. I'm really starting to struggle with the idea of anymore pain at this point.

I did put myself on a super low fat diet since we started talking gallstones on Friday- and I have not had anywhere near the level of pain I was getting after eating before - so that is helping a little- but I can't quiet the voices in my head that are telling me I can't do this!

I'd love any ideas you have.

Thanks!

For what it's worth, I had a serious kidney infection when I was pregnant with my DD, and it hurt so bad that I was moaning and crying and rolling in bed in the fetal position. I figured there was no way I was going to handle labor if I couldn't handle my kidney hurting. But it was a bad infection, and my kidney was swollen to almost twice the size it should have been - it was ugly.

And when I went into labor.. it hurt less than that kidney infection. I realized that I made it through the pain of the infection without keeling over, and it actually helped me deal with the labor pain. Very much a "if I can do that, then I can do this." I wasn't in active labor very long, but I think I would have coped fine had been I able to labor longer.

I dunno if that would work for you.. using your pain now to aid your pain capacity later, but it was awesome for me.

[mgm78]

reread Ina May's book (or read it if you have not already). It is so empowering and sensible. I did not have to doubt myself, as I was at a birth center, so there were no other options. Unfortunately, I had to have a hospital transfer, but I survived to tell about it!

[PinkFireFly]

I definately agree on Ina Mayes book.. Also if you can get ahold of The Business of Being Born DVD... Granted its a documentary but it has made my belief in myself and body stronger...

I will be re-reading Ina Mayes... Which when I read it first I read it in two days... Its that unbelieveable of an inspirational book...

I doubt myslef daily but I keep reminding myself that its no longer about me... I am going to attempt and succeed for a NCB without pain meds since it is safer for my child and myself...

[niknok]

The thing about gallbladder pain is that it's unnatural and unrelenting. The pain of contractions cycles, and you know it's a natural thing that serves a purpose. The pain from gallstones is a pain that your body creates to signal you that something is wrong. The pain of contractions serves a purpose, and it ends when you get your beautiful baby in your arms. HTH!

You can do this, and it's totally normal to doubt yourself. Heck, I even went to the hospital thinking "I need Demerol, this early labor SUCKS!". But I was actually 10cm and transitioning while thinking those thoughts. Once I knew I was 10cm, I knew I'd made it and it was a done deal. You can do it too!!!

[DoulaMama]

Originally Posted by niknok

The thing about gallbladder pain is that it's unnatural and unrelenting. The pain of contractions cycles, and you know it's a natural thing that serves a purpose. The pain from gallstones is a pain that your body creates to signal you that something is wrong. The pain of contractions serves a purpose, and it ends when you get your beautiful baby in your arms. HTH!

100%

[Snow Mami]

For me labour pain was different because I knew it wouldn’t last forever. When you have any other kind of pain you have no idea how long it will be before it goes away, labour can’t go on for too long!

[Sk8ermaiden]

I was talking to my mom and sis about how my midwife has a natural cure for everything. She told me to call her if I get a UTI, and I was laughing that if I get a UTI I want antibiotics YESTERDAY because the pain gets bad so fast. My sister looked at me askance and said, "But you think you can go natural..."

I ended up in the ER at 36 weeks pregnant with severe backspasms. I ended up on painkillers and bedrest for a week. I spent the remaining 6 weeks worrying that labor would be as bad as or worse than that. Thankfully my DH and midwife were wonderfully reassuring.

The only time I really doubted myself was when I was just going into labor. My contractions were pretty mild, but we had just passed the "this is really it" point. I think then the reality of the fact that I was staying home with no option of pain meds really hit me. I just remember thinking, several times, "What did I sign myself up for??" But once labor really picked up that, or the thought of pain meds never crossed my mind again - I was too busy handling contractions!

And, FWIW, my midwife says kidneystones and gallstones are WORSE than childbirth. She's had both and 6 kids naturally, so I believe her!

[MRM]

Thanks ladies! These really are making me feel better!

[ChicaChels]

110% agree on the pain with a purpose thing..and for me it really became more of a pride issue at the end. Everyone told me I couldn't do it so I wanted to prove everyone wrong. I knew it would end eventually and it did. The fact that I had zero pain after and was up and walking around within an hour (I was shaking, I tried to walk 10 min after and had my legs been able to support me I would have been able to) is enough motivation to do it again!

[PinkFireFly]

Originally Posted by ChicaChels

110% agree on the pain with a purpose thing..and for me it really became more of a pride issue at the end. Everyone told me I couldn't do it so I wanted to prove everyone wrong. I knew it would end eventually and it did. The fact that I had zero pain after and was up and walking around within an hour (I was shaking, I tried to walk 10 min after and had my legs been able to support me I would have been able to) is enough motivation to do it again!

This is also the other side of knowing I can do this.... trying to prove myself... when you have had people pretty much tell you your entire pregnancy that you are going to fail at one thing or another or all... you become very strong willed and your faith in yourself increases so much that you know you can do it and to stick to it...

I am the type of person if someone doubts you and has no faith in you then my doubt decreases and my faith increases and I strive to succeed.... Its also the accomplishment of knowing that you are strong enough to have people doubt you but succeed and know that its not the fact that people help you through but your own will.....

[MRM]

I am very lucky in that everyone I know has told me I can do this! (Some of them have said I might not want to...) But, I don't have anything to prove to anyone. I just would rather avoid introducing un-natural stuff to my body unless it becomes absolutely necessary. For me this is about my baby and me.

It makes me sad to think that some of you have to fight so hard without the support you really should have.

[ChicaChels]

I come from a very anti ncb, anti breastfeeding, anti baby wearing community. i found great support in my bradley classmates and my husband you can totally do it!

[PinkFireFly]

I know that I am very happy to have found JM because I honestly think I would have gone nuts if I haven't....

The proving myself to others and especially myself is just another driving force to help me achieve my goal... and in long run I know that to strive for the NCB is also the most important part of benefiting myself and baby...

I haven't taken a single medication as of yet during this entire pregnancy, not even Tylenol and figure why start taking unnecessary medications at labor and birth... ya know...

[moon~maiden]

Just keep in mind your reasons for doing it and "keep your eye on the prize"

[Gobaby1]

I understand your nerves, I have/am feeling like that too! This is TMI, but I had a terrible BM a couple months ago, I mean it was violating! I was in the bathroom for over an hour contemplating having DH drive me to the ER. I finally did what I needed to do after nearly passing out, tears in my eyes and I couldn't make my legs stop shaking for hours (I have now found colace!)! After that I told DH I don't think I can do NCB if I thought I was going to die with this. Thanks to JM I found another post from a new mommy who had the same thing happen to her and she said labor was nothing compared to that... I was like THANK GOD... I can do it! Now I am struggling with my asthma some so I am nervous about my breathing... plus we're almost there so I think its natural to become extra nervous! I just have to believe that I can do anything for a few hours... especially something I was made to do!

[catherineclare]

I think I started getting nervous around 34-35 weeks too! In the beginning of my pregnancy I watched a lot of baby shows and they started ticking me off so I quit watching them...but when I started to get nervous and doubt myself for wanting a natural birth I turned them back on!! Seeing woman after woman get that needle shoved in her back (which I had with my first and I remember that pain) and all of the women being wheeled in for sections for failure to progress just made me that much stronger and the nerves went away.

During my labor at one point I remember laying there thinking that I wish I could just stop and put it off for a few days so I could regroup and get some sleep...lol, but I pushed through.

And let me tell you...I remember every pain of my induction with pitocin and an epidural, but quite honestly I can't remember much of the pain with my natural labor and birth. That should tell ya something

[~ Christine ~]

It looks like you've gotten great advice!! You CAN do this - don't allow doubt to enter your mind!