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  #21  
November 5th, 2009, 07:45 AM
The Purple Butterfly's Avatar Stacey
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 10,031
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelllilee View Post
i wonder if her OB actually said that too. Often times I think its more a perception than actual fact.

For example, a women has an "emergency" c/s and during it the doctor comments that the cord is around the neck. But when she tells her friends about the birth its "The cord was around the neck, my baby would have DIED, the doctor saved my life!" even though that wasn't necessarily the case... ya know?

But I think doctors that push cesareans know how to say things to get the result they want. They know what "buttons" to push with that particular patient. If she fears dying in childbirth all its going to take is a gentle nudge that delivering a large baby could be dangerous to her.

Still... APPALLED by that conversation! And I really don't understand the mentality that if baby is "big" its okay to take them early. Big doesn't equal mature!
This whole situation just angers me and I'll tell you why.... for those women out there who don't care about even trying for a vag delivery, and God forbid after 40w, they ruin the chances of NCB and/or a vag delivery for the rest of us who want them!! The crazy high c/s rate is both the responsibility of the OBs AND the uneducated mother's who do whatever they're told or b/c they're "sick of being pg". Since it's become so common now, many hospitals aren't NCB/VBAC friendly and many have even banned VBACs! So, if someone thinks that their decision to just get a c/s for no reason other than convenience (I'm not buying this big baby CRAP.) doesn't effect anyone else, they are sadly mistaken! I don't appreciate it and for the baby's sake, I'm sure he/she doesn't appreciate it either.

Sorry... off my soap box now.
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Stacey, wife to Allan & Mom to:
Anastasia (13)- C/S 8lbs 7oz, 20.5"
Noah (11)- C/S 8lbs 12oz, 19"
Oliver (5)- VBA2C 7lbs 3oz, 19.5"
Grayson (10/16/13) -2VBA2C 9lbs 12oz, 22" born sleeping
at 39w pg due to thrombophelia; Protein C def, Factor V Leiden , & MTHFR
Lavender Kate (5/20/14) - 3VBA2C 2.5oz, 6" Lost at 16w
Praying for our rainbow baby coming in March!


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  #22  
November 5th, 2009, 08:14 AM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I wonder if she will now try to sue the doctor because the baby is in the NICU. I see a direct relationship to the baby not being ready to be born and it being in the NICU. It is 95% the doctors fault that her baby is sick. If that baby had been allowed to finish developing it would not have ended up in teh NICU.

Why only 95%? Because mom should have gotten a second opinion. What other surgical procedure do rational people have without a second opinion? Very, very few. Why are OBs gods, but other surgeons should be second guessed?

If I knew this woman I would encrouageher to sue the doctor. Until they start getting calle dout for these atrocious decisions nothing is going to happen to stop them.
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  #23  
November 5th, 2009, 08:23 AM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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my friend isn't the one who had the baby, it's her sister (who I couldn't stand growing up) and they live hours away from me (in Florida now, I live in Iowa). I was just as outraged at the convo ...which is why I had to stop replying to her! No need to apologize to me for being blunt
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  #24  
November 5th, 2009, 11:40 AM
cheezpoofs's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Buffalo, New York
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What a nincompoop Mommy! There is nothing stopping mothers from getting educated about pregnancy, childbirth, risks of any type of birth, or really anything to do with labor and birthing their children. The information is out there. I hope her comfort is worth the cost of her child's health here, because that is what she paid with to be "done being pregnant".

My Little Man was born after forty-two weeks and three days and for me, it was never a contest of which I'd rather have. I endured the discomfort and anxiety for the birth of my baby because I KNEW that he'd come when HE was ready and that it would be better for his health to just wait for when that happened.

I have NO sympathy for impatient and selfish mom in this situation, but I feel horrible for the innocent little baby that wasn't ready to be taken from the womb yet and is now suffering.

And for the record, Lucius was eight pounds two ounces and I would not consider him to have been a "big" baby. I consider eight to nine pounds to be average. Ten is big, but not impossible to have a natural birth with. The head circumference and position of the baby are what matters for "difficulty of birth" (not taking medical emergencies and uncommon events into account). Fat squishes.
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  #25  
November 5th, 2009, 12:04 PM
~ Christine ~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I totally agree! I talked to my friend today, and she has scheduled the elective c-section for Monday. *sigh*

The saddest part about it is that she met with a different doctor in the practice yesterday, since our doc is booked next Monday (his surgery day), so someone else will have to do the section, and he 100% agreed with what the other doc said. The doc's rationale is that the baby is big, is head down, but not engaged at all, and she's not dialating or effacing at all!!! She's 39w and doesn't want to go over 40...*sigh* At least the baby will be about 40w versus 37w, but still makes me sad for her.

She's never had any surgery before or even an IV, but she's a NICU nurse. She did say if she went into labor this weekend, she'd try, but she doesn't expect to.
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  #26  
November 5th, 2009, 12:17 PM
IAmMomMomIAm
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Man, this entire thread really makes me love my OB. He told me Luke was measuring large, but pointed out that U/S are often wrong by a lot. He said Luke has a huge head, but there's no reason I can't deliver him. At five days PD he pointed out that Luke was already pretty big, and I should *consider* an induction.. "I am slightly concerned about the size of his head more than his weight" were his exact words. I asked him if he thought I should induce and he said "that's completely up to you. I'm just here to do what you want." He also warned me that the induction could lead to a C-section, since I was 15% and 0cm (meaning my body wasn't really ready for labor).

Obviously I did it anyways (I know better now). But I'm just really appreciative that my doctor made sure to tell me the risks of an induction, didn't push it on me, and wouldn't have judged me if I said no. Luke head was 15.5in around. He told me AFTER Luke was born that they tend to offer C-sections with 15in heads, but he didn't want to make me think I couldn't do it, and didn't want my first birth to be a C-section.

Sorry, this comment is completely random. I just really loved my OB, and wish all were like him.
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  #27  
November 5th, 2009, 12:18 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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this all makes me think of a episode of "this american life" on NPR about a month ago. They were talking about the cost of health care and trying to pinpoint the "reason" it is so high. Is it the doctors, is it the patients, insurance companies etc...And the examples of how it is actually patients expecting and wanting all the extra managed care. It was pretty fascinating. One doctor was talking about how he was working the ER one night and a girl came in from an accident. He examined her and she appeared to be fine. Then her lawyer father came in and demanded an MRI to make sure she had nothing going on internally, and threatened to sue the doctor if he didn't. He explained that he best guess was that she was fine, and that exposing her to the xrays was probably riskier than not. The father was furious. The doctor said straight up "listen, I'm in a tight spot right now. It would be much easier for me to just get her the MRI and make you happy but ethically I feel it is much worse to put her in danger of developing brain cancer years from now (to which he would never be blamed) than to actually listen to my concience and follow the code of ethics which I swore to" (not a direct quote) and basically the father backed off.

In a lot of ways it is a revolving door between the doctors and the patients themselves going around and around. Women expect to be over managed and are annoyed when they are not. I am often reminded of how I myself was at the end of my pregnancy with Cadie, very annoyed when I didn't get checked at my 38 week appointment, fixating on the 37 weeks as full term thing, etc. The truth is many women *do* want to have their babies at 37 weeks, and hearing that it's probably not best is like telling them they need to wait until 45 weeks. Especially first time moms. Even though I was fully committed to being drug free, I still had some conventional expectations at the time. This time, I am looking for even less management. Hopefully other women will too.
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  #28  
November 5th, 2009, 12:54 PM
ShaunaB's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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How awful! The friend is uneducated and seems happy to be and the doctor shouldn't be practicing. Watch the baby be so small he needs to be in the NICU. Horrible! And how incredibly awful is it that she won't consent to an amnio to find out if his lungs are ready. Her style of motherhood is already apparent sadly.

By the way, Stefan said he heard on the radio about the most recent report of maternal and fetal mortality. The US is at #30. They said some of the reasons why are obesity, smoking, and early inductions. SURPRISE SURPRISE!
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  #29  
November 5th, 2009, 05:36 PM
bostoncreampie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hah. That's how big my son was. He seemed normal to me until all the nurses at his pediatrician's office gasped at the fact that I pushed him out vaginally. Someone in my DDC was just posting about a friend that delivered a 9 lber vaginally (she was wrongly informed, it actually ended up being c-section) and I couldn't understand how that was so huge either.
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  #30  
November 5th, 2009, 05:59 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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we had someone here who had an over 11 lb boy about 7 months or so ago. She doesn't post here anymore.She did it totally naturally.
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  #31  
November 5th, 2009, 06:05 PM
Kelllilee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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there was a birth on "Birth Day" today...

Homebirth, midwife attended, 9.5lbs, shoulder dystocia... BEAUTIFULLY handled and baby was perfect. I love seeing positive homebirth stories!!
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  #32  
November 5th, 2009, 06:49 PM
BellaBellski's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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omg lol thats incredible.

I just gave birth two weeks ago. I was told at 36 weeks he would be big - like 8 1/2 - 9lbs. As much as I wanted the baby outta me asap because of the size, I knew it was best to wait until the baby was ready. Unfortunately he was very snug in there and I ended up being induced at 41w1d. I went all natural, no drugs, had a vaginal delivery and did not tear the slightest bit. He was 10lbs .1oz! The delivery was actually alot easier than my 7lb 14oz DD! I pushed standing/squatting/toilet sitting though instead of on my back folded in half (BIG difference!)
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  #33  
November 5th, 2009, 07:11 PM
bostoncreampie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheryl33 View Post
we had someone here who had an over 11 lb boy about 7 months or so ago. She doesn't post here anymore.She did it totally naturally.
Are you thinking of Jen? I think her Owen was over 11 pounds. Incredible.
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  #34  
November 5th, 2009, 07:22 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Wow, that does seem a little unreasonable to me. My 1st was a section and he was 9lbs 7oz which is big to me. He ended in a section AFTER pushing for 4 hours and I really felt that it was the best decision for us. My 2nd was a vbac and 3 weeks early at 7 lbs 13oz. I think had he gone 40 weeks he would have been my biggest and DD was 9 lbs 2oz and she was only 2 pushes to get out. I am tall though and normal size in the hips, so I just think that she needs to give vag delivery a shot instead of just going for the C. Just my 2cents
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  #35  
November 5th, 2009, 07:24 PM
Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
I have NO sympathy for impatient and selfish mom in this situation, but I feel horrible for the innocent little baby that wasn't ready to be taken from the womb yet and is now suffering.
I've seen this a handful of times in the past few years and I can honestly say that I have a hard time having sympathy for the mom in that situation. I know that seems cold, but when you know the risks and go ahead with it anyway, you should at least take responsibility for that decision.

That reminds me of the article "The Telltale Wombs of Lewiston, Maine" (was that posted here?) It also mentioned how patients' expectations play a role in what procedures are done and the type of care they recieve. It was very interesting, because I had never thought of it that way. In a DDC, I often saw moms questioning why thier doctor didn't do frequent early blood draws and ultrasounds to make sure the baby was okay. They expect it because everyone else is having it done.
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  #36  
November 6th, 2009, 06:57 AM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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Kristen I am actually thinking of someone before Jenn- but I can't remember her name for the life of me. Someone help me- she had a daughter named Irelyn, her husband was deployed.....I am so dumb!!!

Jenn, of course you deserve your props too!
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  #37  
November 6th, 2009, 08:39 AM
IAmMomMomIAm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by andi2284 View Post
That reminds me of the article "The Telltale Wombs of Lewiston, Maine" (was that posted here?) It also mentioned how patients' expectations play a role in what procedures are done and the type of care they recieve. It was very interesting, because I had never thought of it that way. In a DDC, I often saw moms questioning why thier doctor didn't do frequent early blood draws and ultrasounds to make sure the baby was okay. They expect it because everyone else is having it done.
There are several ladies in my DDC who are totally weirded out that I don't expect my first ultrasound until 20-24 weeks in, and I only get blood drawn once, around the same time. I really don't see a need for tests and ultrasounds before that. If my due date changes then instead of now, I still have plenty of time to prepare. Of course, with both my pregnancies I recived 3-4 ultrasounds between 20-40 weeks for various reasons, but they were for good reasons.. like they thought my DS only had one kidney, and DD had a calcium deposit on her heart. Then DD was breech, so I got a couple for that.
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  #38  
November 6th, 2009, 12:46 PM
**Jenn**'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Wow, not even 8 1/2 pounds and that is supposed to be too large to deliver vaginally? My second son was 8lbs 5oz and I didn't think he looked big at all! My dh's cousin's wife was induced almost a week early because of a "too large baby" and he was just about 8lbs. Everyone in dh's family commented "Good thing she was induced, that baby was HUGE!" Really shocked me. My cousin's wife was also induced about 3 days before her due date for a too large baby. Her baby was indeed large at 10lbs 13oz though (her first) and she delivered him vaginally!

I'm always surprised about the information (or lack of in most cases) out there regarding pregnancy, labor, and birth. There was an epidural thread in my DDC not too long ago and one of the ladies said her husband does epis all the time and said they were better for Mom and baby! I couldn't believe it! And the original poster was wanting to try naturally but being talked out of it by her dh and others. Not supportive or informative IMO. Most of the responses in that thread were along the lines of that's great if you want to try but I got the epi and it was wonderful! Ever feel like you're completely alone in your thinking?
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