Log In Sign Up

I am not stupid!


Forum: Natural Childbirth

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Natural Childbirth LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #21  
December 13th, 2009, 07:51 PM
bkro9's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 1,460
I feel like after the fact, if they try to doubt me I'll just say "it was the most amazing experience of my life, I wouldn't have it any other way". At least that's what I HOPE I'll be saying! I also know that there is a bit of guilt or feeling competition on their part if I go through with it and they didn't. So after the fact, I will not take it to heart. I'M the strong one in that sense!!!
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #22  
December 14th, 2009, 11:40 AM
Mom.to.PinknBlue's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Lame-o Illinois
Posts: 12,234
Becky do you think it really is a sense of competition?
I guess I could see that.

I have to agree we are strong women!
__________________
Amelia: Wife to Ryan, Mama to Harleigh, with a boy on the way
Reply With Quote
  #23  
December 14th, 2009, 12:06 PM
Niamh ૐ's Avatar Green Mama Goddess
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Fallbrook, California
Posts: 10,423
Send a message via AIM to Niamh ૐ Send a message via MSN to Niamh ૐ Send a message via Yahoo to Niamh ૐ
Yep, I get these types of comments too. Not just for NCB, but also for BF'ing longer than a year and for cloth diapering. :-/

A month or two ago I actually got into it (about the NCB thing) with a friend on Facebook. She basically said I was an idiot for attempting NCB, that I wanted to "give birth in the bushes with a witch-doctor", and that I was disrespecting the entire medical community for not putting all my trust in doctors. Yeah, that conversation didn't go over very well. My other friend (who is due around the same time as me and also desperately wants a NCB ) was so upset about it that she deleted her Facebook. :-/

All that started simply because I made a status update commenting on how I sometimes get frustrated watching "A Baby Story", lol. Now I'm afraid to even mention NCB on my Facebook!
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #24  
December 14th, 2009, 12:34 PM
Mom.to.PinknBlue's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Lame-o Illinois
Posts: 12,234
I think people are just idiotic and they become judgmental because they don't know anything about it.
I had told Ryan that I wanted to do cloth diapering and he about had a coronary. And then he told his mom and she went off her rocker at that one....

I don't get it, and I hate how everyone is so opinionated.
__________________
Amelia: Wife to Ryan, Mama to Harleigh, with a boy on the way
Reply With Quote
  #25  
December 14th, 2009, 01:00 PM
bkro9's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 1,460
Quote:
Originally Posted by ride_or_die View Post
Becky do you think it really is a sense of competition?
I guess I could see that.

I have to agree we are strong women!
Sadly, I do. Women are so competitive with each other! I have no idea why. But I know what I feel is right, and I'm going to do that, and not worry about discussing it with anyone but my husband. After the fact I'll share proudly!!!
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #26  
December 14th, 2009, 02:40 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pavia, Italy
Posts: 5,959
I haven't gotten any comments, but I hear comments directed at NCB advocates all the time. People can be so dumb, and ill informed. Whenever someone says something about it just say "pregnancy is not an illness, birth is not a condition. This is not something that needs to be medicated".
__________________
Mama to G, L & twins F & M
Started off 2013 homebirthing suprise twins Fia Celesta & Maddalena Isabella
Reply With Quote
  #27  
December 15th, 2009, 11:21 AM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 25,860
I think my mom about flipped out when I told her I was seeing a midwife instead of an OB. She's definitely a proponent for natural child birth (she thought me and my sister were being babies for getting an epidural with our firsts! ), but she just didn't think a midwife would be able to give the proper care that an OB could. She's okay now that I explained that my midwife is a CNM and that there is no reason I need to see an OB for an uneventful and problem-free pregnancy.

Don't get me started on the cloth diapers. My family is okay with it, but I just decided to stop talking about with people that weren't family or close friends.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #28  
December 15th, 2009, 02:40 PM
flitabout's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Pipestone, Minnesota
Posts: 6,491
Why is it other women feel free to tell you things that are just not true about labor, birth, and breastfeeding. My in laws are the worst! My sister in law was telling me that I had breastfed long enough when DD was 9 months old. That isn't up to her. Then after having a conversation about home birth when we where pg together with our last DDs, I thought she would be receptive about my go for hb right? Wrong she is actually making things up about hb and ncb that are just not true!
Amee you are strong enough to do this and don't let anybody tell you different!
__________________








Reply With Quote
  #29  
December 15th, 2009, 05:18 PM
**Jenn**'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: NJ
Posts: 11,433
I've definitely heard my share of comments as well. Both for NCB and for breastfeeding (bil and sil were the worst with this but have since learned to keep their mouths shut to me about it). Then I heard some more not so supportive comments when I went to a free standing birth center and midwife for my last birth. I really wanted a homebirth this time but financially we couldn't do it (hopefully next time though!). I don't care though, it's not for other people to comment about and I don't usually share unless I'm asked. People can be as ill informed as they want, I know I'm doing the best for my kids that I can.
__________________
Our angel baby forever missed--1/3/03

Ailish Laura born October 20th, 2012.
8lbs 12oz and 20.75 inches

Reply With Quote
  #30  
December 15th, 2009, 07:39 PM
KtKuKi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 2,756
Most of my friends haven't had babies yet, so they think its pretty amazing that I want a NCB. My MIL is probably the worst critic for me. Funny thing is, she had NCB with both her kids, but she says she didn't have a choice(I've never asked why, I guess I should though), and says she doesn't understand why I wouldn't take the drugs so I can enjoy giving birth. I've told her numerous times there is no way I'd get an epi, and the last time she asked why. I told her I thought childbirth was a natural process and shouldn't be messed with with drugs. She said, "oh ok, I just thought you were going to say something silly, like that you were afraid of needles" Um, who cares if it was b/c I didn't like needles? So I told her I'm not getting the epi and would prefer not to have to keep defending. She hasn't brought it up since and its been like 2 months. I guess I finally got through.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #31  
December 17th, 2009, 03:21 PM
bemylove
Guest
Posts: n/a
I wonder how the human race survived for thousands of years if NCB and BF were such terrible mistakes???

And now we have the great advantage of modern intervention when it IS needed. What more could people ask for?

I am not pg yet and won't be for some time, but I am planning NCB and BF if it is within my power! My mother attempted a home-birth with me but I was breech and she had to have a c-section. So she understands both ends of it so she will be supportive. I also have a friend who had a water-birth 2 years ago so she will be a source of good information! When the time comes, of course.

Kudos to all you ladies fighting the fight right now!!!!
Reply With Quote
  #32  
December 17th, 2009, 03:54 PM
Mom.to.PinknBlue's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Lame-o Illinois
Posts: 12,234
Thank you Stephanie.

Yea I am keeping my mouth shut about my choice to do a NCB and breastfeeding. Im just not in to the comments and stuff.

It is our decision. We are carrying this child for technically 10 months, so I will deliver how I want to dang it!
__________________
Amelia: Wife to Ryan, Mama to Harleigh, with a boy on the way
Reply With Quote
  #33  
December 19th, 2009, 06:33 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: CT
Posts: 982
Amee I experienced this too with my first son. My cousins were pregnant at the same time I was and one had an epi with her first and was having a csection because of twins for that pregnancy and the other was planning an epi birth. I wasn't even planning a hospital birth, it was in a Birth Center! They tried to talk me out of it. When I first mentioned to dh (fiance at the time) that i wanted a natural birth he told me it was out of reach and some ridiculous childhood dream because I had ALWAYS wanted a NCB and lets face it, most people today only know about medicated births or csections. Finally I convinced him (basically said its my body and this is what i'm doing, support me or not) and just went along with my choices.

I don't regret it. Ds's birth was BEAUTIFUL and peaceful and nobody was rushing around. Ds2 was stillborn and I was induced but I still did it pain med free and it was still such an amazing and empowering experience. This baby is no different...we are actually hoping to be in the Birth Center again

Stick to your beliefs and don't feel like you are obligated to explain anything...just say "These are my decisions and if you aren't going to support me then I really don't want to discuss it".
__________________
Kathryn
Married to my best friend Tom since 2004 (together since 1999)
Mommy to two little boys:
Jamie ~ 7-12-04 ~ fun, crazy, transformer loving tough-guy mama's boy
and
Joey ~ 4-4-09 ~ born sleeping ~ held under my heart for 40wk1d, in my arms for just 6 short hours but he will be in my heart forever
And finally holding my little girl,Felicity Rose, Born into Daddy's loving hands on June 9, 2010

Reply With Quote
  #34  
December 19th, 2009, 07:09 PM
Hollybear's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 3,227
Quote:
Originally Posted by ride_or_die View Post
I am so sick of hearing that I am stupid because I want to have a NCB and that I want to BF. Like seriously?!
I know NCB and BFing is not for everyone, but I at least want to try!

People that are telling me I'm stupid never BF, never had a NCB and it really bothers me.
This is my body, my child and my decision.

Why does everyone have to be so opinionated?!
I feel you! I hate the "WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT???" comments.
Reply With Quote
  #35  
December 19th, 2009, 08:47 PM
Mom.to.PinknBlue's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Lame-o Illinois
Posts: 12,234
Yea I have officially stopped talking about it. I had a friend ask me if I was going to BF and I said yes and she was like oh thats great, I think that is a wonderful decision... And I laughed and was like wow gee thanks!
__________________
Amelia: Wife to Ryan, Mama to Harleigh, with a boy on the way
Reply With Quote
  #36  
December 22nd, 2009, 10:53 AM
stlgirl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 5,786
I've gotten guff from a few people, but for the most part the people who know have kept their mouths shut, mostly because they know they'll get an earful from me if they say anything!
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #37  
December 22nd, 2009, 11:15 AM
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Tennesee
Posts: 44
I am tired of hearing that too. "Oh you just wait till you are in labor, you will be begging for drugs." UGH! It makes me crazy! I broke down one time and said "I am sorry to hear your birth experience was not what you planned, but women have been having natural childbirth for centuries, somehow, they made it okay.."

It usually shuts them up
Reply With Quote
  #38  
December 22nd, 2009, 12:33 PM
Urchin's Avatar Loving every minute.
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Atlantic Canada
Posts: 8,258
Wow, I was just reading this thread and I must say, I am pretty blown away at how much crap you guys get.

Of course, I haven't gone through having an children yet, but around here when I bring up natural child birth or breast feeding, people are generally very supportive. Especially with BF. I think the only real negative response I seem to encounter regrding med-free birthing is that people would think I am crazy for going through the pain...but never would anyone call me stupid or insult me for wanting that....

I say you guys all should move here. You don't need to deal with the crap you seem to be getting! You're some of the most strong and responsible women around!!
__________________
Thank-you Bokkechick for the beautiful siggy!

Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:28 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0