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  #1  
December 12th, 2009, 12:40 PM
Mom.to.PinknBlue's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Lame-o Illinois
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I am so sick of hearing that I am stupid because I want to have a NCB and that I want to BF. Like seriously?!
I know NCB and BFing is not for everyone, but I at least want to try!

People that are telling me I'm stupid never BF, never had a NCB and it really bothers me.
This is my body, my child and my decision.

Why does everyone have to be so opinionated?!
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  #2  
December 12th, 2009, 01:12 PM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 25,834
I'm sorry! People always tell me that I'm crazy for not wanting an epidural. I just can't wait to have the baby and prove them wrong. Try not to let others get to you. You know that you are making the best decision for you and your child.
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  #3  
December 12th, 2009, 01:19 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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A lot of us just avoid the topics all together when It comes to ncb. But BFing too? It's 2009, it's obvious that formula is inferior. It is NOT equel to human milk!

You've got a long way to go, I suggest just keeping those discussions to a minimum. People love to flap their gums at us and it causes so much frustration! you don't need it.
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  #4  
December 12th, 2009, 01:23 PM
Mom.to.PinknBlue's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yea the only person I can talk to about is Ryan, thank god. Because at least he supports me!
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  #5  
December 12th, 2009, 05:15 PM
3xCrazy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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One of my friends on FB said I was crazy for wanting a water birth because I cant use drugs in there. I was like wth, Im a strong woman, Ive had two other children before (yes i was medicated but it had worn off by the time I had to push.) she said as soon as she gets in there shes asking for everything she can get.
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  #6  
December 12th, 2009, 06:07 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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youre going to hear about it before AND after you give birth. I can't tell you how many times I'm out and about and people dote on Brylie and say "So how was the birth?" (Random people) and I say "it was great all things considered!" and they say "ahh yes gotta love those drugs" and I say "Can't tell ya" and it always ends up me getting called a moron or something - but completely random women! (And men!)....even my family said "ahh so youve made your point, you can do it without drugs, next time will you humor us and get the epidural so we can be in there while youre laboring?" NOPE!
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  #7  
December 12th, 2009, 06:43 PM
oriel13's Avatar Tishauna
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Location: Ohio
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I got the same thing last time, especially the whole "yeah everybody wants it natural the first time, you'll sing the praises of an epidural when you're done." And then when I wasn't successful they had to comment on that too. Heck when I announced this pregnancy one of the first things I was asked was "so you still want to do it drug free or did you see the light yet?" So I agree, it's not worth your sanity most of the time to even debate or discuss with people whose attitudes are biased against it to begin with. As far as BF...wow, I haven't really run across too much of that yet!
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  #8  
December 12th, 2009, 07:26 PM
~ Christine ~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I just laugh to myself now when I hear people, especially men, talking about their wives needing to get the epi as soon as they walk in the door. Forget about everyone else. You can do this!
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  #9  
December 12th, 2009, 07:40 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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I was/am so lucky because no one really ever gave me any crap about it ever- before or after. Both my mom and my MIL had drug free births. Also I don't think we talked about it too much, I really don't remember. Also I think most people are afraid to make me mad, I don't hide my feelings much and will tell them to just shut it.

We will see this time since we are doing a homebirth! I expect lots of interesting comments! I am not sure how open we will be about that. I'm not ashamed but also not looking to open a cab of worms. My patents are fine with it, I know my MIL is super nervous but is going to have to live with it and knows we are well informed and always well prepared. We will see what her friends have to say, that could get interesting!
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  #10  
December 12th, 2009, 07:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheryl33 View Post

We will see this time since we are doing a homebirth! I expect lots of interesting comments! I am not sure how open we will be about that. I'm not ashamed but also not looking to open a cab of worms. My patents are fine with it, I know my MIL is super nervous but is going to have to live with it and knows we are well informed and always well prepared. We will see what her friends have to say, that could get interesting!
I got a few comments when people found out I had an NCB with Lily. Most thought I was crazy for dealing with the "pain", but I honestly didn't have a painful labor. Now we're doing a homebirth for Baby #2 and I haven't told a lot of people in my family. One of my aunts is super against homebirth because one of her aunts died in childbirth at home. But it was a situation where she went into labor (back in the late 1940s) at home and didn't make it to the hospital in time. So it wasn't a homebirth, it was just going into labor at home and having complications.

This aunt told DH and I when we floated the idea of homebirth when I was pregnant with Lily that "homebirth is how retarded kids are made". So, yeah we're definitely not telling her or many other relatives. I do have one cousin (other side of the family) that used to be a homebirth midwife and is now an OB/Gyn and she is super supportive at least. All of DH's family is fine with it since they're Korean and all of his sisters/him were born at home in Korea (some unassisted and some assisted with a village midwife).
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  #11  
December 12th, 2009, 07:57 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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Wow, from homebirth midwife to an OB? That is bizarre!
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  #12  
December 12th, 2009, 07:57 PM
Platinum Supermommy
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You are NOT stupid... I feel your pain...

My family has said that either I am stupid or that I won't be able to BF or I will break down for pain meds...

I am BFing and I absolutely LOVE it... I went for a NCB but ended up on Pitocin... I labored for over 12hrs on Pitocin without pain meds.. I was facing a c-section and broke down and got an epidural... I still beat myself up on a daily basis about the epidural... BUT I am happy I only had the epi for about 2hrs...

You can BF and have your NCB... Screw the other nay sayers.....
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  #13  
December 12th, 2009, 08:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheryl33 View Post
Wow, from homebirth midwife to an OB? That is bizarre!
Yeah, her parents and her are super religious and she says that God spoke to her and said that she could help more women by becoming an OB. She works in New Mexico where there are lots of midwives and she's a big proponent of women going natural still. She says it makes her really sad when women come in asking for drugs right away or an elective c-section.
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  #14  
December 13th, 2009, 09:46 AM
Mom.to.PinknBlue's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Wow! Midwife to OB is a big change, granted in the same field. That is good that she thinks she can help more people that way and that she is still an advocate of NCB!
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  #15  
December 13th, 2009, 10:09 AM
frugality=reality
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Hey! One of the MW's from my birth center left to finish school and become an OB. She was a CNM at the stand alone birth center where they also do home births. She's definitely pro natural birth (and she even is into delayed and selective vaxxing and no circumcision). I think she'll be a great OB! I'd even consider an OB again after she's done.

To the original poster: you're not stupid. I think it's smart to not want to start out knowing you're going to be on drugs. They give people after surgeries and other procedures the option of whether to have meds (if they're in pain), and I don't hear people calling them stupid of they choose against more morphine. *shrug*
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  #16  
December 13th, 2009, 11:59 AM
bkro9's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I don't plan on telling anyone until AFTER the fact. I don't want to hear their opinions, and if something were to go wrong, I don't want to hear "I told you so". They can find out after my amazing birth!
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  #17  
December 13th, 2009, 12:40 PM
Mom.to.PinknBlue's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Becky that is a good idea.
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  #18  
December 13th, 2009, 04:07 PM
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Yeah I definitely got the "You're crazy" comments after having NCB. Its really dumb but they don't care even when you have "proved" it. You aren't stupid, its just the mind set. Honestly, with my first I was right there along with them. I had a medicated birth and thought that was how it was done and the only way to do it and told women they were crazy if they didn't get it. But then I researched and looked into it and decided the biggest reason I said anything like that was because of my own fears. I wanted to try NCB for a lot of reasons, but a big one was getting over my own fears and being able to do it for me. I now don't go into it unless someone asks and I try to remember to be really calm about it and not get defensive because those are the the kind of NCB women that I learned from and wanted to be like because if THEY could do it SO could I!
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  #19  
December 13th, 2009, 04:45 PM
Twinkle's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
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I've definitely gotten those types of comments before too... even for having a midwife... one of my good friends thought all midwives were hippies, dancing around a bonfire... I set her straight, LOL. I do still "watch" who I discuss my birth plans with. Having a homebirth isn't so popular, but I've been pretty lucky not to have a lot of naysayers.
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  #20  
December 13th, 2009, 05:20 PM
Mom.to.PinknBlue's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have to applaud you ladies that want home births. I honestly don't think I could do that.
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