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Can you explain this to me???


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #21  
January 3rd, 2010, 04:41 PM
DoulaMama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Florida
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absolutely not. ANY breastmilk is great, but more or all is better. 4oz formula per day is not much at all, so she's getting the vast majority of her food from your boob, which means lots of benefits- immunities, and everything!
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I am proudly a homebirthing, excluively breastfeeding from the tap, constantly babywearing, bed sharing, attached mama to a high needs baby. He is a part time diaper-free baby!

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  #22  
January 3rd, 2010, 04:44 PM
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That's really cool about not needing cereal and being able to EBF for so long - I had no idea!!! (I'm allergic to wheat - so I'm very hesitant to give my baby cereal)
Kelly - you were not made a mockery of! Child birth is unpredictable! - and you made the best plan you could and did the best you could in that situation! I admire you - please be nice to yourself!
Again - I have NO experience - just watching friends and my mom - but I'm pretty sure supplementing does not take away the benefits of breast feeding. I've only heard it can make it harder for you to produce enough - since you body tries to match what baby is demanding. I think if you pump when you give formula - then you might be able to counteract that? - you can always freeze breast milk (and after watching my friend go through a bad stomach flu with a tiny baby - back up frozen milk is awesome!!!!)
Really - do the best you can - and your baby will benefit from whatever you can give her. You are doing a good job!
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  #23  
January 3rd, 2010, 06:30 PM
bostoncreampie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Formula supplementation doesn't take away the benefits at all! Even just nursing for a few days at the hospital and then not continuing has benefits. Whatever amount of breastmilk a baby gets is worth something! I would even encourage anyone to keep at it if all they could do was nurse once a day.

I can understand you feeling really down on yourself. I think natural minded parents can come off as cliquish sometimes. I haven't felt that at all on this board, but I have in real life before. Moms that get everything right have a lot to be proud of, and sometimes that proudness can be really intimidating to others and make others feel like they just can't live up. Birthing without drugs, extended breastfeeding, making homemade organic baby food, cloth diapering and only buying organic natural toys, etc. are examples of the "best" things to do for your child, but it can be so hard to get it right all those times. I really think it takes a superwoman to do all those things and more. If you are doing some of those things, you are doing more than most!

Some women have complications or become weak in childbirth, some women realize they hate nursing, some can't afford non-toxic European handmade toys or don't have the time to make baby food. And I think not living up to that glorious standard can be really hard, especially when you really value all of those things and use them to define being the perfect parent. I think what really matters is being educated, setting out to at least meet those goals and trying to be the best parent that you can be. But realize that not everyone can be a supermom, it's really hard to hit the nail on the head each and every time. If you don't have a natural childbirth, or don't exclusively breastfeed your child, it doesn't mean you aren't just as amazing of a mother as someone who did. There are plenty of other opportunities you'll have your daughter's whole life to be the best mother for her. Soooo many other opportunities you'll have to make decisions in her best interest. It's not like there are just 4 standards that make a good, natural minded parent. There are tons, and you'll be able to make up for the one's you didn't meet.

That's just my 2 cents anyway. If it makes you feel so terrible, maybe taking a break from these message boards for a few days could help. It's easy to compare yourself and critique yourself based on standards that other people lived up to and you didn't. And that's not healthy for your mental well being.
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  #24  
January 3rd, 2010, 06:55 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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Location: south eastern Mass
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you are WAY WAY too hard on yourself honey! It will get easier for you and Noelle as time goes on. Before you know it you can walk around nursing if you want! Most women don't have a super easy time at first- remember, things often look much sunnier to other people than they really are.

I had a super super hard time with Cadie (and she had a hard time too- it's both mom and baby involved in the relationship) and I was pumping and giving bottles for the first few weeks. I was in a lot of pain in my arms and shoulders from my Fibromyalgia and the birth, and Cadie just wasn't latching on for very long at a time. It wasn't until later that I realized that that was just her style. She just wasn't eating much, sleeping a lot, John and I were a mess. Then I accidentally fed her spoiled pumped milk and she threw up this neon green stuff, we thought she was dying!

after a few weeks I was more relaxed, she was more alert and one day (thanks to Kristen giving me a good pep talk! Thanks Kristen) I put her to my breast again and that was it, she latched right on and everything was fine from that day on.

The point is everyone struggles in some way or another, NO ONE is perfect and we do what we can. It takes time to get into the rhythm. It sounds like you are doing a great job! Don't let a label like "exclusively breastfed" worry you, or bother you. None of that really matters.
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  #25  
January 3rd, 2010, 07:04 PM
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Some breastmilk is better than no breastmilk! Even if she was only nursing once a day and getting formula the rest of the time, it would be better for her to get that one feed of BM per day.

Give yourself a bit of a break. It's so not easy. You'll get better at all of it as you go. It's a learning experience for both of you.
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  #26  
January 3rd, 2010, 09:10 PM
GranolaMamaOf3's Avatar ~Heather~
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Location: GA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DoulaMama View Post
or longer.... a good friend is delaying to a year, and we may too.
Ditto! DS will be 10 months on the 10th, and we just started to give him little bits of solids now and then (only sweet potatoes and a tiny bit of apple sauce so far)
We planned on waiting til a year (this can be very beneficial when trying to avoid allergies, especially when you have a history in you family, like us) but DS was showing signs of needing a little more...We plan on taking it VERY slow though, and limiting his diet to the basic, low allergen foods (we will stick with mostly the sweet potatoes) until he's over a year.
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  #27  
January 4th, 2010, 05:58 AM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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I was going to wait longer to give Cadie solids, but John REALLY wanted to, so at 6 months and one week we gave her avocado. She didn't love it, and really didn't love solids until after a year old.

I swear she would still nurse just as much now as she did a year ago if I let her. She tells me all the time "I LOVE nursing!!"
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  #28  
January 4th, 2010, 06:22 AM
10x_A_Mommy's Avatar formerly mom_of_8
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 7,701
I ebf until baby is ready for solids (6+ mos). My now 3 year old was ebf'd til 11 1/2 mos old. I tried solids with her around 7 mos but she hated them. So never tried giving her food again until she started grabbing it off my plate at nearly a year old.

My youngest however - he LOVES his food lol. He started solids around 6.5 mos.

It is perfectly fine to skip cereal and baby food altogether. As long as you are eating right - baby is getting everything they need from you. My ped. recommends ebf up to 2 years.
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  #29  
January 4th, 2010, 10:29 AM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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kelly you gotta cut yourself some slack chick!!! It is very stressful when they lose weight and you have the doctors all down your throat telling you to supplement! Brylie lost 16% of her birth weight and wound up in the hospital for jaundice at 5d old and they threatened to call CPS on me for starving her if I didn't give her at least 2oz of formula a day while she was there and then they made me pump and give her bottles so they could monitor her intake. It was a disaster. Top that with your hormones at 5d pp ... I can totally relate! To this day, I know it affected my supply. Since you seem to having supply issues the best thing I Think is to cut off the formula 100% (I know you said she's been formula free for 24 hours!!!). I think the first 5-6w of Brylie's life we sat on the couch and did nothing but nursing alllllllllllll day. ....it gets exhausting, but now she is almost 5m and nursing like a champ!

It will get so much better! I was ready to quit at 5w and fortunately my husband was very supportive and encouraging and would sit up with me while I was sobbing at 2am feeding her. It's so worth it like the other ladies have said - and this is coming from someone who didn't plan on breastfeeding at all (the idea intimidated me! I literally didn't decide to breastfeed until I held brylie for the first time)
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  #30  
January 4th, 2010, 02:23 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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Location: south eastern Mass
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also, EVERY baby loses weight when they are born!
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