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what a difference- nurse midwives in office vs home birth midwife!!


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
January 17th, 2010, 08:51 AM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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Location: south eastern Mass
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I just had my second appointment on Thursday with my midwife. I got there on time, and didn't have to wait at all. There were also 3 student midwives/apprentices there, 2 who I had met before who are brand new and one who I had not met before who has been with her for over a year. They made me tea and gave me apple slices and cheese. It's so nice and inviting in her home and her office, you just hang out and talk for most of the hour, ask questions you have etc.

Then they took my blood pressure, I weighed myself (although they don't even make you, it's your choice) and then they feel my belly and measure. I gotta say, it's pretty awesome. Other than getting measured, I don't remember anyone feeling my belly when I was pregnant with Cadie, other than my Doula at the very end of my pregnancy. They also tested my urine.

I am really liking the lack of technology! I asked about hearing the heartbeat on the fetalscope, it's still too early. She did say she has a doppler but she doesn't use it unless asked, and I declined. I can wait. Next appointment we should be able to hear it.

It just feels so warm and loving, and I actually feel cared for. What a difference!

Also, we talked a little about my ties with the community and other moms etc, and I started crying. I have had such a hard time making friends here. I have friends, but none too too close (closest with a kid is Monica, she's 45 minutes away which isn't too bad, but I really have been feeling heartbroken because Cadie has no playmates close to her age near by) and the ladies with kids that I have tried to get friendly with in my town (meeting them at the gym) are not beating down my door for friendship beyond a quick chat here and there. Still nursing my 2 year old and getting ready for a homebirth...not exactly really appealing material for most of these ladies around here.
They know a lady who lives close by me (they are 40 minutes away from my house so this isn't really their neighborhood) who had 2 homebirths with them, so she got me her email address. She has a 4 year old girl and a 1 1/2 year old girl too. That's pretty sweet!!! Hopefully I can make a connection there.

I have to post some pics from Cadie's party last weekend, hopefully I can do that today or tonight.
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  #2  
January 17th, 2010, 10:42 AM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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That sounds like you had an amazing appointment hun! That really stinks about the friends issue. You would be more than welcome at my house! Big hugs hun!
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  #3  
January 17th, 2010, 11:48 AM
bostoncreampie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Sounds great! I am experiencing the huge difference between midwifes at a birth center vs OBGYN in crappy NYC hospital. It's so nice to get that feeling.

I know we aren't as close as we have been in the past and I live about an hour from you, but I would love to get together before March. Maybe we can meet at the children's museum or science museum for the day and chat. We could even cause a scene and nurse our two year olds together with our big pregnant bellies. Have you looked into the Holistic Moms Network? Or check out meetup.com, I know they have an AP group south of Boston.
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Last edited by bostoncreampie; January 17th, 2010 at 11:52 AM.
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  #4  
January 17th, 2010, 12:35 PM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
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It sounds like the birth center I went to. Very inviting, very little technology. You weighed yourself, did your own pee stick, etc. They always felt my belly/uterus on every visit, even at 7 weeks.

Sorry about the friend thing. I know how hard it is. One of my patients who I really like said that she met a few nice people at LLL meetings, so I am going to go with her next month and see for myself. She is bfing her 26 month old
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  #5  
January 17th, 2010, 12:56 PM
ShaunaB's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm so glad you're loving the midwives & you know how much I wish we lived close to each other. I could be a fun playmate for both you & Cadie! Hopefully the midwives can introduce you some awesome local moms with friends for Cadie. Love you!!
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  #6  
January 17th, 2010, 01:19 PM
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Glad you had a good appt! If I lived by you then I would be over all the time! I made some good mom friends on meetup.com, not all of them are my parenting style, but no one seems to care and all the kiddies are around the same age.
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  #7  
January 17th, 2010, 02:12 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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no meetup groups that are "AP friendly" in my area (there is one very active one that is probably 45 minutes away) and no Holistic Moms group or LLL under 40 minutes. One of the drawbacks to living out here is that we are sort of isolated in the social aspect. We wanted lots of space and we got it, but I can't even go for a walk with Cadie on my own road, it's not safe enough (no sidewalks, windy, fast cars).

I forgot to mention above that she could tell if my fluid was good and how many babies were in there *JUST BY TOUCHING MY BELLY*- makes me so sad that technology has taken over so much that I am sure they don't even train OBs or nurse midwives how to tell those things with their hands anymore.
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Last edited by moon~maiden; January 17th, 2010 at 02:16 PM.
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  #8  
January 17th, 2010, 03:57 PM
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That sounds like the birth center I used too, I loved it! It's hard to go back to a doctor's office after you have had an experience like that. I agree, it's sad how much technology has taken over in pregnancy and birth. Nurses and doctors are now trained to use machines, they don't even know how to do anything the old fashioned way.

I wish you lived closer Cheryl, I know how hard it is not have any friends with the same parenting style.
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  #9  
January 17th, 2010, 04:03 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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sounds like an awesome appt!
I know what you mean about lack of friends....I moved from Omaha, NE (huge city, where I had TONS of friends) to small town Iowa (500 people in my town, maybe 30 of them even close to my age?) and I get really depressed sometimes because I am so lonely!
I am thinking of putting an ad up for a playgroup to see if anyone wants to get together, but i duno......How awesome your midwife is hooking you up!
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  #10  
January 17th, 2010, 04:03 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so glad you have real midwives this time!! Isn't it awesome? I loved the ones i had with Colm. I really wish I had switched to them when I was pregnant with Evie.

I am sad that I may not get to have midwives if we decide to have another baby. As far as I can tell it is not a good birth climate in AK for VBAC mommas. I might have to go underground with a traveling midwife.
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  #11  
January 17th, 2010, 04:33 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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did you move?
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  #12  
January 17th, 2010, 05:01 PM
monica8's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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That sounds awesome Cheryl! You'll have to tell me more about where it is and stuff when I see you. I don't think I'd have a homebirth until we are in a house, but I definitely think it would be cool down the road. For a doctors office, mine was pretty personal, but they weren't about to make me tea or anything!

I wish this area was a little more natural birth/lifestyle friendly. I feel like it's the complete opposite based on the people I've met with kids. Even walking to the grocery store with Levi in the bjorn I get dirty looks and slow traffic down.

It will be fun that your baby will probably be right in between Levi and our next baby (if everything goes smoothly), since we're gonna TTC again in June. When they get a little older the age won't be as big of a difference.

Have you thought about doing something like a story hour at the library? Most have them free and I used to meet people all the time when I took Orabel. Or a music class maybe. I did one with her that I liked, Music Together, but there has to be something closer to you.
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  #13  
January 17th, 2010, 05:48 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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I was going to gymboree with Cadie but our session ran out in the summer, then I didn't renew because of the swine flu. I will take her back starting in March once the flu season has hopefully blown over. But even that is a half hour away...
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  #14  
January 17th, 2010, 06:19 PM
ShaunaB's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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You know you can't be the only one to feel about parenting as you do. There are probably lots of women & moms out also not knowing where to find like-minded women. Have you thought about placing an ad at your midwive's office to start a group?
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  #15  
January 17th, 2010, 06:30 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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I could start a group right from meetup, but I'm not a group leader type. I just wouldn't be right for that kind of thing.

Plus my midwife is right outside Boston, so that's 45 minutes away, not in this community.

There was a meetup group a year ago that I joined, only 3 of us were active, and the person who started it wasn;t active at all, we tried to email her and she didn't reply. One of the women lives in the town next to me but she now has a full time job, and 3 kids, not much time for hanging out. The other woman lives like a half hour away, we lost touch.

I feel like I've considered every angle. I just joined mothering.com forums and they have regional "tribes" so I'm hoping that will get me somewhere.
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  #16  
January 17th, 2010, 07:32 PM
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I have a midwife at a birth center (and the birth center kind of feels homey), and I absolutely love it.

Glad you had a great appointment!!
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  #17  
January 18th, 2010, 05:55 AM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
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How about toddler yoga classes? I have met a couple nice women at my mommy and baby yoga, very like minded. Not really hung out with them yet, but there is potential
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  #18  
January 18th, 2010, 07:01 AM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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I need to search harder for one- there is a mommy and kid yoga class but it's for 5 and up, which stinks.

I do yoga at home and try to engage Cadie but she won't bite. I wonder if going to a class would help that.
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  #19  
January 18th, 2010, 07:15 AM
bostoncreampie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Have you been to your local LLL chapter? There are bound to be groups in Boston, aren't you a super close drive? You could also join a regular mommy meetup group, that's where I met a good friend of mine who is very into natural parenting and still nurses her 2.5 yr old. I ended up starting my own meetup group, even though I'm not a leader type either. It's been worth it.
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  #20  
January 18th, 2010, 08:17 AM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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We are moving to Alaska in June and will be there for 3 years. I don't want to be pregnant after 35, so if we want another baby it willhave to be in the next year or so. Which means the next baby will be born in Alaska, just outside of Fairbanks.
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