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response to my SIL's comment?


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
January 28th, 2010, 01:35 PM
oriel13's Avatar Tishauna
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 6,250
I need to get out this semi-rant about in-laws and ask for your help!

We haven't been telling very many people about planning a homebirth, and none of DH's family knows because we don't expect them to be supportive. I posted the article someone linked here yesterday on my facebook (the study on eating in the hospy) since most of my friends and family know my feelings on NCB and it seemed pretty innocent. However my doesn't-want-kids, holier-than-thou, "I know everything about medicine because I'm a radiology tech" sister in law posted this to me: "The reason behind not eating is if you need an emergency c-section - they will need to intubate you and you run the chance of refluxing food into your lungs which could kill you."

Well, no crap. Obviously I've researched the subject enough to know why "they" say you can't eat, and I wasn't posting the article trying to start that debate. The smart thing to do would probably be to let it go but it's such a pattern with her (being negative about anything alternative or non-medical, talking to me in a way I see as condescending) that I feel like all I ever do is "let it go". I'd like to find a polite way of saying I don't agree (and why) and hopefully nip this in the bud before she gets started on what's best for us for the next 6 months (since that's what she did with DS as well). But I know any response I can come up with is going to be sarcastic and/or angry.

Any thoughts on how to respond? I figured since you girls aren't emotionally involved in the situation you'd be better judges of an acceptable, non-flaming response.
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  #2  
January 28th, 2010, 03:09 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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I guess nothing, she sounds pretty annoying. I think there is a way you can set it up so she won't be able to see certain things you post, if you wanted to do that to prevent future incidents. I'm not positive how to do that though...
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  #3  
January 28th, 2010, 03:53 PM
Earthy.Mama's Avatar .*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.
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It's not about why they didn't allow it, it's about how far they've come in realizing it's more needed to eat and drink than not.
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  #4  
January 28th, 2010, 04:14 PM
Super Mommy
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well if you are in a serious accident or an emergency does arise when you are NOT in the hospital and they need to do emergency surgery they can give you medicine to make you puke........My cousin was in the hospital (not in labor) when her placenta previa ruptured/abrupted and she had to have an emergency c-section and they just tubed her and knocked her out. Babies were out of her 6 minutes from the time she started hemorraging. So obviously sometimes they have to make do with the situation given.
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  #5  
January 28th, 2010, 04:25 PM
ShaunaB's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I wouldn't respond to it. She is correct in saying what she did, that was the previous thinking. But as the article showed, it's not fully valid. The article is already your rebuttal (if she bothered to even read it).
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  #6  
January 28th, 2010, 05:14 PM
oriel13's Avatar Tishauna
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Location: Ohio
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I responded and said:
"I just posted it because I thought it is nice to see research coming out that proves the benefits of eating/drinking during labor (and how those benefits can outweigh the very small chance of a woman needing general anesthesia, since the study focused on low risk deliveries)."

Hopefully she gets the hint and stops stalking every single thing I say. I have my first prenatal with my new midwife next Thursday and it really bothers me that I don't feel like I can post openly about it without comments from her and other members of DH's family.

So.....can anyone tell me how to make sure she (and a few others) can't see any future birth-related posts? That would be great, but I have no idea how to do that on facebook.
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  #7  
January 28th, 2010, 05:25 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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Location: south eastern Mass
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I'm asking for you

eta: here you go, this should help

Help Center | Facebook

eta: also my friend had this to say

"right next to the 'share' button is an image of a lock. Click on that and you can choose who to include/exclude on the fly"
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Last edited by moon~maiden; January 28th, 2010 at 06:46 PM.
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  #8  
January 28th, 2010, 07:07 PM
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I would reply with something like "I feel sorry for people who get in car accidents after leaving restaurants" but I'm a b!tch like that I suppose.
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  #9  
January 28th, 2010, 07:26 PM
Tiff802's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I probably would have put the same thing as you, I wouldn't have been able to just let it go.

Quote:
Originally Posted by crazytown View Post
I would reply with something like "I feel sorry for people who get in car accidents after leaving restaurants" but I'm a b!tch like that I suppose.
Sometimes it's just not as fun being the nice one. LOL
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  #10  
January 28th, 2010, 07:43 PM
Sk8ermaiden's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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From what I have read, England (along with a lot of other countries) allow eating and drinking in labor and have had no cases of that happening as a result. Not a few - NONE. Anesthesia has come a long way from when the original recommendation was made.
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  #11  
January 28th, 2010, 08:07 PM
frugality=reality
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yes-and they typically don't even USE general anymore...

I'm so glad that my family (very very many of them are in the medical field-mostly RN's-even an OB Nurse) are very supportive of my decision. And they are sometimes the ones that speak out the MOST against modern medicine. lol It's comical to hear them sitting around talking about how "stupid some doctors are about human bodies."
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  #12  
January 30th, 2010, 06:07 AM
lttle_one's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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From what I've read, the whole aspirating thing was a theory because it was a common cause of death back in the day in mothers. But anesthesia has come a long way and not eating doesn't mean an empty stomach, anyway. The chance you'd need general is so extremely small, and the chance you'd aspirate if you did is so extremely small, it really should be a non-issue. I mean, really, the risks involved in an epidural, induction, and c-section are so much more real than aspiration.

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Last edited by lttle_one; January 30th, 2010 at 06:08 AM. Reason: added link
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  #13  
January 30th, 2010, 06:28 AM
~ Christine ~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crazytown View Post
I would reply with something like "I feel sorry for people who get in car accidents after leaving restaurants" but I'm a b!tch like that I suppose.
LOL! I love it!

I think you posted a good response. Did she say anything back?
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  #14  
January 30th, 2010, 07:34 AM
oriel13's Avatar Tishauna
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No, she didn't respond. Hopefully she doesn't. I plan on excluding her and the rest of DH's family from pregnancy or birth related posts from now on so I won't have to worry about any of their comments in the future.
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