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I couldn't do it. Any advice???


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
February 9th, 2010, 11:43 AM
KtKuKi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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So, sadly, I cannot post my birth story on here, I ended up with an epidural. But I wanted to share my story and see if I can get any advice or insight from some experienced ladies on here.

First off, I will say that NCB was really important to me. Its not like I just thought oh I'll try it and see. My mom had 5 NCB, with 4 of us homebirths, and my sisters both had NCB's. I knew I could do it. There wasn't a doubt in my mind. Getting an epidural was not even an option, I never looked into what it entailed or even considered getting one

So here is what happened, I'll shorten it up as much as possible. I went into labor Monday evening at 11:30pm. By 2am the contractions were 2-3 minutes apart lasting anywhere between 40 and 55 seconds. I called my mom at 4am and she said they really needed to be consistently 1 minute long, so I waited. I had a dr appt at noon on Tuesday so I called the dr at 10 am to see what she wanted me to do. By this time contractions were more regularly 50 seconds long, 2-3 minutes apart. She said go to L&D. I wasn't in a big rush, so DH and I ate lunch and got the house ready for us to be gone. We got to L&D around 12:45pm on Tuesday. I was checked at 1pm and was 4cm and 90% effaced. I was pretty happy with this. I got out of the bed and walked around through my contractions. I was checked again at 4pm-7cm, I was thrilled. The contractions were painful, but not unbearable, and I was really confident. My nurse was awesome and kept telling me that she'd seen ladies with epidurals who complained more about the pain than I did. I was SOOO confident. I was checked again at 6pm-8.5cm, bulging water. Again, thrilled! My nurse was about to go home, but she decided to bring in all the birthing equipment, the bed warmer, and the dr's tools. She said this baby could be here any time. I was so happy. Again, I got up and walked around. The only time I was in the bed was to get checked. My new nurse came in at 7:30 to check me again. I was still 8.5cm. This was a little disappointing. She asked if I wanted my water broken, and I decided to have it done. Here's the annoying part. It took the dr 2 HOURS to come break my water. My actual dr didn't even do it. It was the in house dr, so I have no idea why it took so long. After she broke it, I was 8cm. Frustrating, but I knew that might happen, they said my water was so bulging that it might be pushing my cervix open more. I walked around more, which was a little rough since I was constantly leaking water and had a towel between my legs. I wish they'd have just let me wear underwear with a pad, b/c I think I would have been more comfortable.

At 10pm the nurse checked me. Still 8cm. I was SOO frustrated. Why was my body not progressing? The nurse left to tell the dr, then came back and said my dr wanted me to start pitocin. I was terrified of this. I begged for more time to walk around. They gave me till midnight. By this time, I'd been in labor for 24 hours, basically standing on my feet the entire time, minus the few minutes each time I got checked. When I stood my legs shook like crazy, but I did it anyway. So at midnight, I was checked, still 8cm. The nurse said my dr would definitely want to start pitocin. I begged again for more time, and I got another 2 hours. I was so exhausted. By this point, I realized that when I laid down to get checked, my contractions slowed down and were about 5 minutes apart. I decided I would try to sleep between them for an hour, to rest up, b/c at this point I'd been awake for about 40 hours. I tried to sleep for about 45 minutes and gave up. I got up again and moved around. I squatted and got in all different positions. About 1:30am I started throwing up. It was horrible, but I was feeling optimistic. I'd read that if you're throwing up, you're in transition and should be having the baby soon. The nurse didn't come in till 2:30am to check me, but I was confident I'd dilated. BUT NO! Still an 8. I was horrified. She started getting the pitocin set up. I was so upset, so tired, so frustrated with my body. I started crying and begged my mom not to hate me, but that I needed the epidural. They got that dr in there so fast to put it in. However, like I said I had no idea what an epidural entailed. I'd only see them put in on "A Baby Story" it was just like a quick shot in the back. Oh no, it took the dr forever to find the right place in my back, it hurt so bad, I had to sit hunched over through contractions w/o moving which was horrible. At one point he hit a nerve or something, and I swear it was like getting an electric shock up my whole leg. My leg flung out uncontrollably, while I supposed to be still, but I couldn't help it. After the epidural kicked in, I will not lie, I was in heaven. I slept for 2 hours. At 6:30 they came to check me. I was 100% effaced and 10cm. The baby still needed to come down, so they said they'd hold off on me pushing for a couple hours. About this time, I started feeling the contractions again. I didn't quite understand this, b/c the epi is supposed to be a continuous drip, I did have a button I could push if I need an extra dose of painkiller, but I didn't understand this whole wearing off thing. I decided again getting the power shot, b/c I wanted to be able to feel the urge to push, and I knew that having a high est weight (8lbs 13oz) would make the dr push for a c-section if I was having any difficulty pushing. This was a huge fear of mine. So even though they insisted I'd be fine with the extra medicine, I decided against it. The contractions were hurting, but I was ok with that. At 8:30am my dr came in. First time I'd seen her since I was admitted. She said to have me start pushing 9am. I was excited, but my sister warned me that she pushed for 4 hours, so I was a little scared. I was annoyed b/c my nurse was not very nice and she said I'd be practice pushing, but she'd yell at me if I wasn't pushing just right or hard enough. I pushed through 3 contractions, but her head started coming out so I was told to "rest" until the dr could get there. Ha! Every contraction I had, I wanted to push. So I did. They called the in house dr in, but then they saw my dr coming down the hall, so I had to wait. I pushed for one contraction, but then the dr cut me, and said push right now. I did, and there was my beautiful girl. Her cord was wrapped around her neck twice, once around her body, and was tied in knot. I guess this was the cause of my needing to push w/o a contraction. I tore in 4 different places, plus the episiotomy I had. Madeline had a really fast heart rate, and was pale, but I wasn't worried, her heart rate was perfect right up until she came out. It took them forever to give her back to me, due to this, though, which was annoying. DH did hold her while I was stitched up, and eventually I held her before they took her away. She weighed 7lbs 7oz, 21 inches long. I started pushing at 9am, stopped for about 10 minutes, pushed again and she was out by 9:30.

Things I didn't realize....My mom said once they hooked me up to an internal monitor, after my water was broke, that my contractions were never very strong. Is this why I didn't dilate? I just don't know what I did wrong. Should I have been doing more, and if so, what? I also felt for most of the night that I really needed to have a BM, but each time I'd go to the bathroom, I just couldn't push it out. (maybe should have done some castor oil!) B/c of this, my whole bottom felt very tense with each contraction I had, not sure if this could have been an issue either.

So, when I first got the epi, I felt like there was no way I'd ever go without again, but now that I've had some time, I know that I could do it naturally. I had made it so far, and if I'd just progressed, I truly feel I could have done it. Plus, I had some nasty side effects from the epi, such as a HORRIBLE headache that they said was a spinal headache, so I had to have blood from my arm put into my back, which was basically like getting the epi all over again! I hated it. And I couldn't get up to pee, so they put a catheter in and I'm still having pain from that, two weeks later.

I am proud to say that I have been exclusively breast feeding her, despite many nurses telling me to just give her formula. I stood my ground there, and now she's a champ at it.

So, any advice from the doula's or other experience moms on here? What could I have done differently? And be honest, I won't be offended!

OH, and here are a few pics of our beautiful little girl, Madeline Grace





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  #2  
February 9th, 2010, 12:00 PM
ShaunaB's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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She's gorgeous, congratulations! I'm not sure what advice to give. Perhaps if they hadn't broken your water, the bulging waters would have helped you dialate. It's sounds as though you were progressing fine up until they broke your water. Many people consider AROM to be somewhat natural, but in fact it's just another intervention.

But congrats for making it as long as you did. Now you know you can do it and hopefully next time you'll have a better situation to have it happen.
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  #3  
February 9th, 2010, 12:09 PM
TheOtherMichelle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Aww.. she's just gorgeous! Congrats!

I was wondering if her head wasn't in a great position. Sometimes when that happens labor can stall, and I've read one or two birth stories where having the epidural can relax the muscles enough to let the baby shift position. Usually it seems like it's better to not get it so you can change positions yourself, but I guess it's not always the case.
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  #4  
February 9th, 2010, 12:26 PM
Twinkle's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
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Congrats on your beautiful little princess!!!! I'm so sorry you didn't get the natural birth you wanted. I know how that feels (it happened with my first). It can take some time to work through it. I am glad to hear breastfeeding is going so well!
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  #5  
February 9th, 2010, 01:03 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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those pictures are beautiful!!!! What a sweetie.

I really don't know what to say, it's hard to know for sure. That was a long-ish labor and you were really tired. I guess if you REALLY are sure next time, go to birth center instead of a hospital and get in the water. Other than that not sure what to tell you. It sounds like you did great though!

Lots of babies have the cord wrapped around their neck. But I agree, maybe she wasn't quite in position yet. That's what happened with me and my 3 hours of pushing!
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  #6  
February 9th, 2010, 01:17 PM
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She is beautiful!!
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  #7  
February 9th, 2010, 01:38 PM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
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Congrats on a beautiful little girl!
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  #8  
February 9th, 2010, 02:08 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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First off Congrats on your beautiful baby girl! She is just adorable! You did an amazing job! You should be so proud of yourself. I agree that it sounds like her head wasnt in the right position. Big hugs hun!
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  #9  
February 9th, 2010, 03:00 PM
monica8's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Congratulations! She is beautiful.

I had a long labor that started off really fast, then didn't go too much farther. I think part of it was that his head was cocked to the side and he was facing up, so his position was not ideal. I also know that the way he was positioned made it really hard to pee, so once they put the catheter in my bladder wasn't taking up as much space.

I also know I can have a natural birth, so was a little discouraged it didn't happen and wondered what I could have done. I think that in cases like ours we will be able to have a natural birth now that our bodies have been through it once.

I also know what you mean about the epi. It makes you feel so good at the time to have relief (and made me a chatterbox), but now I still want my natural birth. Hope we both get ours someday!
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  #10  
February 9th, 2010, 04:56 PM
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Your baby is so adorable I just want to keep looking at her pictures!!

I was a doula for a mom who labored over 12 hrs at home, then many more hours at the birth center. She was dehydrated from vomiting she experienced in labor and despite being in the water, or walking around she could not get past 7cm. She was exhausted. She decided she needed to transfer and get the epi. She was devastated as was her husband...and while she was getting the epi her dh was asking me "What will this do to the baby?!" In any event, just getting over to the hospital she was in such better spirits and her vomiting stopped, even before getting the epi! It is amazing what your body does when your mind is at ease. She got her epi, slept for 2hrs and pushed out a beautiful, alert baby boy!

So I think, like you, if baby wasn't in JUST the right position it just prevented dialation. Also if you were tense at all, like you were talking about feeling almost constipated...is it possible it wasn't a bm at all but baby pressing funny on your tailbone or something? But that certainly would make your lower muscles tense and prevent further dilation. So like others have said, sometimes the epi gives you just enough rest or just enough relaxation to get baby into just the right spot and be able to come down more.

Eitherway, don't discount all the work that you did mama...you labored, hard, and pushed out your beautiful baby girl...the epi just helped give you that last little boost you needed to reach the finish line. (maybe thats not a traditional NCB pov, but I am pro-NCB + realizing there are circumstances where intervention can be a good thing.)
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  #11  
February 9th, 2010, 05:22 PM
Tiff802's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J_n_JsMommy View Post
Your baby is so adorable I just want to keep looking at her pictures!!

I was a doula for a mom who labored over 12 hrs at home, then many more hours at the birth center. She was dehydrated from vomiting she experienced in labor and despite being in the water, or walking around she could not get past 7cm. She was exhausted. She decided she needed to transfer and get the epi. She was devastated as was her husband...and while she was getting the epi her dh was asking me "What will this do to the baby?!" In any event, just getting over to the hospital she was in such better spirits and her vomiting stopped, even before getting the epi! It is amazing what your body does when your mind is at ease. She got her epi, slept for 2hrs and pushed out a beautiful, alert baby boy!

So I think, like you, if baby wasn't in JUST the right position it just prevented dialation. Also if you were tense at all, like you were talking about feeling almost constipated...is it possible it wasn't a bm at all but baby pressing funny on your tailbone or something? But that certainly would make your lower muscles tense and prevent further dilation. So like others have said, sometimes the epi gives you just enough rest or just enough relaxation to get baby into just the right spot and be able to come down more.

Eitherway, don't discount all the work that you did mama...you labored, hard, and pushed out your beautiful baby girl...the epi just helped give you that last little boost you needed to reach the finish line. (maybe thats not a traditional NCB pov, but I am pro-NCB + realizing there are circumstances where intervention can be a good thing.)
That's a great reply! Just wanted to say Congrats and she is absolutely beautiful! Great pics too!
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  #12  
February 9th, 2010, 06:33 PM
bostoncreampie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Congrats, she's gorgeous. I have not had a natural childbirth yet, so I can't really give advice. But I wanted to say that the same thing happened to a good friend of mine. She labored for about 40 hours without drugs and wouldn't progress past 8. Her midwife finally recommended the epidural and the baby was born minutes later. I'm guessing some women can just get exhausted and it inhibits the body from relaxing enough to open up. Having some rest may have been all your body needed to finish.
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  #13  
February 9th, 2010, 07:40 PM
KtKuKi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thank you for all the compliments on our Miss Maddie. My sister is a photographer and couldn't wait to come over and take pics of her. And thank you for making me feel a little better about what happened. In all reality I thought I'd really be hating myself after I had time to look back on it, but I don't. I wasn't pressured into the epi, I made the decision on my own. I guess I am just looking for answers for what I could have done.

As far as the position of her head, I'm really not sure. When I was checked when I was admitted, the dr said station +1, but I'm not sure what that means, and she only told me b/c my nurse asked her. My dr never told me what was going on at appts, I never knew what I was measuring, or what Maddie's heart rate was. They did mention that they didn't know what position she was facing, and that it was possible she was sunny side up, since ALL my labor was in my back. Which reminds me, every contraction, the only thing that felt good was to have DH, my mom, and sister all rub my back really hard...my back still feels a little raw!

I honestly believe that the epi did help me relax just enough to dilate. My mom is not a big fan of this reasoning, I guess she really wants to find a way to blame the hospital! I will say the nurses NEVER once mentioned an epidural. I also wonder if I had just gotten the pitocin at 10pm when my dr wanted, if it would have been enough to dilate me. They told me the highest my pitocin went was a 4, which I guess is low? They said it went to 20 or 25, I can't remember.

Another interesting tidbit...when I first was admitted and saw my dr, she said "oh I see they estimated her at 8lbs 13oz a week ago. That's a big baby. And it should be about right" Well, when Maddie came out weighing 7.7, the dr said "oh, thats why you really can't rely on a 40 week ultrasound. They're never accurate" WOW....Doctors....
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  #14  
February 9th, 2010, 08:31 PM
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Congratulations! She is beautiful and you did a very good job! That was a long labour (and a back labour!) I don't have advise - but sometimes an Epi - is just what you need. I think they are overdone - but I think your story is an example of how an intervention can be used to help a woman.
I do think the idea of trying water next time might be really helpful
Good job momma!
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  #15  
February 9th, 2010, 08:42 PM
The Purple Butterfly's Avatar Stacey
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Originally Posted by ShaunaB View Post
She's gorgeous, congratulations! I'm not sure what advice to give. Perhaps if they hadn't broken your water, the bulging waters would have helped you dialate. It's sounds as though you were progressing fine up until they broke your water. Many people consider AROM to be somewhat natural, but in fact it's just another intervention.

But congrats for making it as long as you did. Now you know you can do it and hopefully next time you'll have a better situation to have it happen.
Ditto! I've been told that laboring after the water breaks is more painful than if it was intact. I've not experienced that with either boys because my water broke and started my labor and can't remember with DD. A posterior baby coupled with pit probably was rough too! I know the feeling about the pit. Mine got up to like 34/36 by the time I was pushing! Don't beat yourself up though. Your DD is beautiful!! Congrats!!

Here's my birth story. Similar to yours. http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f5...via-vba2c.html (Oliver Scott Hampton- April 12, 2009 via VBA2C!!)
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Grayson (10/16/13)2VBA2C, 9lbs 12oz, 22"
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  #16  
February 9th, 2010, 11:44 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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she is truly beautiful!

your labor actually sounds a LOT like mine, almost identical actually except I stalled at 6cm instead of 8 (and I was 100% induced because of pre-e) and I was seconds away from getting Stadol when my midwife had me get out of bed and rock and rock and rock really hard during contractions because Brylie wasn't dropping from -3 station so I wasn't dilating...the rocking was probably one of the most painful experiences of my life, but it worked. I was stalled at 6cm for almost 9hours and after rocking I went from 6-10cm (and from 70% effaced - 100% effaced) in 5 minutes. I know you said you walked a ton, but next time definitely try hip rocks (if you did that, sorry I missed it!) that's the only advice I really have for you. You did really really well and like everyone said - epidurals have their spot. Your body was doing what it should have done - if you felt pressured by your doc (with the Pitocin) or were stressed about the lack of progress, nature goes into protection mode. You can't progress under those kinds of conditions! Think of animals in the wild - if they feel threatened they can labor for several days before having their litter. Your pit was very low, so it was just that little kick your body needed to finish the process!

But you did really really well and you should be very proud of yourself!! Enjoy your little peanut! she is beautifullllllllll
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  #17  
February 10th, 2010, 06:58 AM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
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first off, congrats, she is beautiful!!

i think next time you should be at a birth center where the environment is 100% pro NCB and breastfeeding. Did you do anything wrong? not at all. I labored for a long time and know how bad the exhaustion can be. luckily at the birth center i was able to eat a bit. once i was transferred to the hospital, i felt defeated and my contractions slowed down and were less strong, after 26 hours of regular & strong contractions!
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  #18  
February 10th, 2010, 08:28 AM
KtKuKi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I actually did get in the water, but it was when I was at 7cm. It was never suggested to me to get in the water again, but I ended up with an internal monitor after my water was broken, so I'm not sure if I could have gotten in with that or not.

Also, I would have definitely gone to a birth center, but there are NONE in St. Louis! The closest one is in Columbia, like a 2 hour drive.

I also considered a home birth, but there was only one dr here that would come to them, the same dr who delivered me, and he passed away last year. I found one midwife that will do homebirths, so I will think about that for my next one for sure!
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  #19  
February 10th, 2010, 05:29 PM
cheezpoofs's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My advice would also be that you do a homebirth or birth center birth next time around.

That said, you did an awesome job, Mama! Be proud! Your little lady is a beauty!
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  #20  
February 10th, 2010, 08:43 PM
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Just want to ditto what everyone else said. You did really well and your little girl is gorgeous. I also think the epi may have just helped to relax you during that last hurdle. Breaking the water may have caused the cords to wrap around your baby which can happen when the water is broken. Or it was just that way anyway, its hard to tell sometimes. I am sorry you didn't get the NCB you wanted, but you worked really hard and I think next time you should have no problems. It seems like anything that happened this time may have just been THIS birth and won't be with the next. Enjoy your baby, she is so cute!
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