Log In Sign Up

Can I Vent to You Ladies a Moment?


Forum: Natural Childbirth

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Natural Childbirth LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
February 13th, 2010, 09:10 AM
WhoaMomma!'s Avatar Danielle
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 8,446
I used to post on this board and stopped after my dd's anything-but-natural-birth traumatized me to the point that I had a difficult time talking about birth of any sort. She was 6 months old yesterday, and I am just starting to get to the point where I can deal with all the emotions I have surrounding her birth. At any rate I posted this thread:
http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f8...es-batman.html
in my Playroom bc I was genuinely appalled that any doctor could have a 50-78% c-section rate and keep his/her license. Now I find myself engaged in a friendly (but heated if you can strip away the attempts at civility) debate with some sheeple in my PR that are honest-to-God defending the overuse of c-sections!!! It makes me so angry I want to scream, but as co-host I can't wade in their with both fists flying and tell them how stupid they are So I thought maybe I could blow off a little steam here among like-minded women without overstepping the line.

Thanks for indulging me!
__________________

My daughter is perfect, but her birth was not. If you or someone you love is struggling to cope with a traumatic childbirth experience, please visit http://www.solaceformothers.org/
Reply With Quote
  #2  
February 13th, 2010, 10:41 AM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: PA
Posts: 17,089
Send a message via Yahoo to mgm78
ok i read the first page while pumping at work overall it was fine but a couple people just did not get it. i had a c section and do not understand how anyone thinks they are great are easy. i would not wish it on anyone!!!
__________________





Reply With Quote
  #3  
February 13th, 2010, 10:53 AM
danischmell's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: SLC, UT
Posts: 57
ugh... yeah, I don't understand people. I guess they just don't realized a lot of those 'emergency c-sections' were caused by interventions that weren't necessary.. or how much better for the mother and the baby a vaginal birth is.

My DH is writing a research paper for his english class right now and its all about unnecessary radicalization of birth is ruining our healthcare system. It's amazing how much cheaper it is to have a natural birth with no intervention than a good ol american pitocin induced, epiduraled up birth.. let alone a c-section!

The one girl that said it was her money, she'll get what she wants.. but I seriously doubt she paid for all of that out of pocket.. she paid her deductible and then the rest was passed on to her insurance company who then passed it all on to us with higher rates...

ugh.. I'm sorry, it's so frustrating to have all this information and have people either tell you its not true (yeah, I want to see their 'c's are safer' research too) or just don't care to know..
Reply With Quote
  #4  
February 13th, 2010, 11:38 AM
WhoaMomma!'s Avatar Danielle
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 8,446
What I don't understand is why they feel the need to argue about it? I mean the thread was talking about DOCTORS. Why do doctors have such high rates, why do doctors push women into unnecessary interventions, why do doctors dangle the option of a c/s in front of an exhausted woman in pain. But they just jumped in there and started defending the practice - which I find amazing in and of itself. But now it's really take a turn that I find deeply offensive where they are insinuating that women who care HOW their babies are born are not becoming mothers for the right reasons.
__________________

My daughter is perfect, but her birth was not. If you or someone you love is struggling to cope with a traumatic childbirth experience, please visit http://www.solaceformothers.org/
Reply With Quote
  #5  
February 13th, 2010, 12:39 PM
lilflower
Guest
Posts: n/a
((hugs)) I just read the entire thing. I feel horrible now.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
February 13th, 2010, 01:06 PM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: PA
Posts: 17,089
Send a message via Yahoo to mgm78
i am not sure i want to read the second page now. I am so sorry. The good thing about my PR is no one ever discusses heated topics. Makes for a very boring, but very amicable PR
__________________





Reply With Quote
  #7  
February 13th, 2010, 01:09 PM
TheOtherMichelle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 8,765
Quote:
he looked me in the face and said "I have never been more amazed, more proud, more inspired, or more in love with you than I am in this moment. An unmedicated natural birth is EASY compared to what you have been through. I knew you were strong - but I don't believe there are very many people who could do what you've done today. Now stop crying and show that pitocin who's boss."
Don't ever let him get away! Hear me?!

I can't comment on some of those other posts right now.
__________________







Reply With Quote
  #8  
February 13th, 2010, 01:30 PM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: PA
Posts: 17,089
Send a message via Yahoo to mgm78
I read page two. Sheesh. Some of those women need to open their eyes. Yes, their child came out ok with a csection and they came out ok from the MAJOR ABDOMINAL SURGERY so they think that is the norm and happens in every case. With my csection i was terrified I was going to die. I was so scared, even after DD was born, I was petrified of dying. It is MAJOR surgery. Major surgery should NEVER be elective. Obviously there is a place for csections, just like there is a proper place for interventions, but to say they are fine and dandy without risks to the baby and mother is just ignorant imo. Sorry you got so attacked. Your original post was not offensive or demeaning to women who received csections by any means. It is so sad that we live in a society with the "fast" way is the "best" and only way.
__________________





Reply With Quote
  #9  
February 13th, 2010, 03:12 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: I'm a husker girl :)
Posts: 16,335
Danielle! So happy to see you here (you really belong here, btw)....you know how I feel about this!
__________________

Maverick Jude
December 9, 2013
5:20PM 8lb3oz 20.5"
Hospital water birth
Reply With Quote
  #10  
February 13th, 2010, 05:33 PM
Tiff802's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Georgia
Posts: 15,290
Oh my goodness, my fingers are so itching to reply to your thread over there! (((HUGS))) to you!
__________________

Thank you for my beautiful siggy Vicki!

See my growing belly!

Reply With Quote
  #11  
February 13th, 2010, 06:13 PM
lttle_one's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Roanoke, VA
Posts: 6,630
Send a message via AIM to lttle_one
I had to stop reading, it was getting me upset. I get way too emotional over this subject. I think it's pretty crappy that they twisted a very valid point you were trying to make!
__________________
Wife to Donny (33), mommy to Cherie (5), and Stepmom to Paige (13) and Garrett (11). Due with number 4 in Jan 2015!!
Reply With Quote
  #12  
February 13th, 2010, 07:50 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: south eastern Mass
Posts: 13,088
I can't even read it, but I feel for you.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #13  
February 13th, 2010, 09:11 PM
Sk8ermaiden's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 5,791
I know I can't even read it, I will explode. But I sympathize. That is an INSANE rate.

And my DH said something similar to me after mine. It was my weakest, lowest, most vulnerable moment ever, and my husband somehow had exactly the words. Man, if you ever need to know you married the right guy...
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #14  
February 13th, 2010, 11:08 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 0
Wow. One big pile of stupid. Sigh - I'm sorry they took what you said so badly. I wanted to post and yell at them all LOL!
"I honestly felt like my doctor had somewhere to be in the moment and rushed to the csection but I almost 4 years later....who cares. I have my kids and thats all that matters to me. I guess for me.......I got pregnant.....not so I would have a wonderful birth story....I got pregnant to be a mom and I am. "

She's lucky she get's to 'not care'. What about the women CS kill - or who's babies they harm? They don't get to not care.
Anyway - big big big hugs. and I'm really sorry you are having such a hard time about your birth experience. You did the best you could! Much love!
__________________

Thank you Kiliki for my first beautiful Siggie!

mom of 2 angels and an earth baby
Reply With Quote
  #15  
February 13th, 2010, 11:11 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 7,430
I read a couple and had to stop...

One thing that has been disheartening to me has been the fact that after 12pm there was going to be no MW the day I delivered so I got stuck with the OB that kept talking c/section with me...

My appointments with him, he ALWAYS mentioned c/section and I told him no... this was the OB that wrote in my chart "non-compliant patient" I was dx with gestational diabetes at 12weeks... I monitored my sugars closely and watched what I ate like a hawk, attended diabetes classes and excercised ALL my sugars were normal... as my delivery date approached he would try to scare me into a c/section talking about shoulder dystocia and macrosomia and so on and because I was obese and first time momma I would end up in a c/section...

Well I went into labor 2 weeks early on my own, I delivered my DD vaginally... he told me I would be pushing for 2-3hrs... I pushed for 20mins... he told me my DD would be over 9lbs because 3 week earlier I had an u/s and she was 7lbs 3ozs at that time... she delivered weighing in at 7lbs 1oz... Hmmmmm.....

NOW.... a friend of mine who was pregnant and diagnosed with gestational diabetes had the same OB and he never mentioned c/section to her!!! Her sugars were over 200s, and her baby was born over 9lbs via c/section (she had a section for other medical reasons) but she was never approaced by him with the word c/section and at least attempted vaginal birthing....

Why do some OBs seem to stereotype certain women and try to scare them into a section?!!? Let's just say first of all I am in the medical field and know more then I probably should, because I sometimes scare myself with the information I obtain but have realized that with this OB I didn't give him much control... but was tired of hearing "c/section" everytime he came in to see me during labor...

I keep trying to ponder over WHY a MW was not on after 10pm that day and I had to end up with the one OB I butted heads with... maybe it was just to prove that he is a pompus.... I'll leave the rest to the imagination...
__________________
*9 weeks * 4/11/13
*5 weeks * 6/22/13
Reply With Quote
  #16  
February 14th, 2010, 12:25 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 4,930
I HAD to reply. Just couldn't help myself. I wanted to stand up for you and all the other moms who are sad because of their birth experience. It always breaks my heart that people are not understanding at ALL when a person is upset about their birth. Our culture is so backwards we don't even understand what's to be sympathetic about! And the "healthy baby" comment ALWAYS makes me upset. Like that should be enough to erase all scars? Its like saying to a person who was knifed "well, at least they didn't take your wallet, that's all that matters right?" Ummm... no. Your baby IS important and a mother will protect her baby and do anything for it which is why doctors can have the forceful upper hand and why OBs can actually still have licenses with 78% c-section rates!
__________________
Married 7 years to my wonderful Dh

Mommy to 6 year old Emily and 3 year old Lindsey!

Reply With Quote
  #17  
February 14th, 2010, 03:02 AM
Mom.to.PinknBlue's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Lame-o Illinois
Posts: 12,234
To be honest I won't go read it because I know it will just tick me off and I am already so hormonal as it is.
But I get the gist of what is going on.
Obviously these women dont get it. You need to be an advocate to your own health care. Do not do something your doctor tells you just because. Ask questions! Find solutions to problems and get answers.

I am only pregnant with my first child so I personally don't know how a c section is. But I have taken care of moms that have had them. And they wish they hadn't.

for you having to deal with the idiotic remarks and statments.

I think some women just like to argue.
__________________
Amelia: Wife to Ryan, Mama to Harleigh, with a boy on the way
Reply With Quote
  #18  
February 14th, 2010, 11:37 AM
TheOtherMichelle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 8,765
I can respond now!

I love how people make statements about studies showing that a c-section is safer when they nothing to back that up and every other piece of evidence out there shows that in the absence of some other medical problem, a vaginal delivery is better for mom and baby. I've seen some wacky stuff on the c-section board that I just have to sit on my hands to keep from making a blistering comment. I don't have a problem with people who face the risks and choose a c-section (whether it be a first baby or ERC) but I hate it when people just brush that stuff aside and assume that anyone who dares to say that interventions come with a price is just some know-it-all hippy who wants to feel superior. Ugh! If I say anything to anyone about thinking twice about an intervention, it's because I want to spare her any future pain.
__________________







Reply With Quote
  #19  
February 14th, 2010, 11:57 AM
Sk8ermaiden's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 5,791
I can NOT even go into the c-section forum. It makes me want to strangle people, scream, and maybe jump off a bridge. I can quite literally feel my blood pressure go up.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #20  
February 14th, 2010, 12:03 PM
WhoaMomma!'s Avatar Danielle
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 8,446
I popped in there for about 2 seconds, saw their little message about no VBAC discussions allowed, and decided it wasn't my crowd.
__________________

My daughter is perfect, but her birth was not. If you or someone you love is struggling to cope with a traumatic childbirth experience, please visit http://www.solaceformothers.org/
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:52 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0