We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
and register
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
My MIL and don't get along. Never have and probably never will. I won't go into detail, but the woman is a nutcase. She thinks I've ruined her son's life and their mother/son relationship. She has said some crazy stuff and done some mean things.
My DH is scheduled for 2 weeks annual training (he's National Guard) and he leaves Aug. 7, my EDD. Yes, it sucks. But there's a chance he could get out of going. But even if he gets out of AT, he's still scheduled for schooling for 3 weeks, leaving Aug. 12. He could get out of that, too. At this point, we don't know what will happen. He might not have to go to either, he might have to go to one or the other. But anyone who's military knows that their philosophy is "Hurry up and wait until the last minute." So it's quite possible we won't know whether he's going until just a few weeks before Aug. 7. I'm personally not worried about it. I can't control it. His higher ups know I'm having a baby and have told him they'll do what they can to make sure he's home.
Friday when I picked the kids up (she watches them on Friday so DH and I can run errands and I have all my appts. with my midwife on Friday's) DH was at a friend's house so it was just me, MIL and the kids. Apparently DH has told her that he's scheduled for AT and/or school. So she asks me if I plan on being induced a week or two early so DH doesn't miss the birth.
Now, I've been induced twice already. The second induction is b/c my DH was deployed and he was home for 2 weeks and during my EDD, so I chose an induction to make sure he didn't miss the birth. I don't regret it, but if I had it to do over, I think I would've just waited for my body to do what it needed to do. I had a successful induction and smooth delivery, but pitocin sucks. And epidurals and the spinal headaches they bring suck too.
So I've made the decision that I will absolutely not be induced this time "just because." It would take a serious medical reason for me to be induced, and I'm educating myself more this time about NCB and when induction is absolutely neccessary. Even if it means DH not being here for the birth, I'm not being induced. Yes, it would be awful if he missed it. Yes, he would be upset and so would I. But DH and I both agree that induction isn't an option just b/c he's scheduled for AT/school.
I explain this to MIL and she tells me that I'm being unfair if I make DH miss Kendra's birth. Um, hello--I'm being unfair? If you want to talk about unfair, let's talk about what an induction would mean for me, my body and my baby. I do NOT want to repeat that again. Too many risks and for what is, IMO, an unneccessary reason. She's really upset about this. She told me that I've been induced twice before and it's really "no big deal" and to get over whatever it is that's making me say no.
I'm just so frustrated. If DH misses the birth, she'll be telling everyone and their brother that it's my fault. That I could've chosen an induction but didn't b/c I'm being "selfish," her words. DH is supposed to talk to her next time he sees her b/c he is on board with me having a NCB and not wanting an induction just because. Who even knows...Kendra might come early and this won't be an issue at all. Or, she might come late and he might not have to go to AT or school and it will still be a non-issue. But if my MIL thinks I'm scheduling an induction just b/c the date is convenient and DH can be there, she's seriously mistaken.
I'm sorry...I just needed to vent. I haven't even told her yet that I'm planning a NCB using hypnbabies and in the birthing tub. She doesn't even think my midwife is capable of providing care b/c, "she's not a doctor. She's just a nurse." Again, her words, not mine. Ugh....this women is out to make my life miserable. I try not to let her get to me, especially b/c I know how she is, but this really ticked me off.
If slapping the crap out of her isn't an option, then just lie to her. Flat out, blatantly lie. Tell her you had to see an OB about the possible induction, (since your midwives won't do that), and the OB said it was too high risk. If the "almighty doctor" says it, then she can't blame you.
I agree with lying. Tell her you guys will talk about the induction IF DH might miss the birth. Then you can just tell her the hospital was too overloaded that day and they couldn't take you so you missed the opportunity for induction.
__________________ Sara, 27, married to Shane, 31, mom to Gemma, 6, and Ashlyn, born 8/7/10
Running for my health and sanity!
PR's: 5k-25:05 (old PR 25:10), 5M-45:03 (old PR - 47:22), 10k - 52:00 (approximate - training), HM-2:25:58 (ran a 2:17:36 during marathon), Full- 4:49:25 (old PR -5:49:40), 50k-7:05:56, 50M-13:31:14, 100k- 18:59:31 (old PR 20:56)
(All of these PR's are going down this season!)
Would it be mean not to call her when I go into labor? LOL! I seriously don't want her to know, and I don't want her showing up at the hospital. For my last 2 births, I delivered at the hospital where she works. That was pure torture! I'm so glad not to be at that hospital this time.
Maybe I'll just have DH call her after the baby is born and tell her to visit us at home when we call. Hmm....then she'd never have to know about me having a NCB and I wouldn't have to listen to her talk about having an "incompetent nurse" deliver my baby.
oh, good idea about pushing the blame to the OB. Although if she has half a brain she would know that couldn't possibly be true, what OB wouldn't want to do an induction?
I don't see why you have to call anyone when you are in labor.....we won't be.
Oh, I totally would not call her until baby is here. With everything she has done and said so far I think she's more than dis-invited herself at this point! Just tell her it went too fast and you needed your DH with you, not making phone calls.
((Hugs)) You are so awesome for standing up for yourself and up to her. I know that must be tough. Just hang in there, and I totally feel you on the midwives are "just nurses" comments---seems like everyone back at home (in Texas) have that view of them
If slapping the crap out of her isn't an option, then just lie to her. Flat out, blatantly lie. Tell her you had to see an OB about the possible induction, (since your midwives won't do that), and the OB said it was too high risk. If the "almighty doctor" says it, then she can't blame you.
Literally took the words right out of my head!!!
__________________
Amelia: Wife to Ryan, Mama to Harleigh, with a boy on the way
Ugh how frustrating! My husband is navy and has missed both our kids birth so I know how hard it can be. If you need someone to talk to about that I would be happy to talk to you. Im sorry your MIL is being a royal pain!
Linear Mode
