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No Birth Center for me this time


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
August 23rd, 2010, 03:41 PM
SavaAngel's Avatar Mama to AJ & Katie
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I am stuck with the hospital to make DH feel better. He wouldn't go for the birth center at all. I told him next time I am going to a birth center so he is forewarned.

I am really committed to doing it natural despite the hospital so we will see how it works out. I want to labor at home as long as I possibly can.
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  #2  
August 23rd, 2010, 03:52 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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he might change his mind, you still have time to convince him. I mean after all, it is YOUR vagina. I can't imagine Sam telling me where i couldn have my baby...I would punch him in the taint!


That being said, if you have the right labor team you can totally do it!
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  #3  
August 23rd, 2010, 03:56 PM
MaggieLizer's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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If a birth center were an option for me, I think my husband would have been the same way. But you can definitely do it in the hospital if you're well prepared and have lots of support, even if your hospital isn't the most NCB-friendly.
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  #4  
August 23rd, 2010, 04:38 PM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
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can you take him on a tour/orientation? after going to ours, DH said he could not see me anywhere else.
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  #5  
August 23rd, 2010, 04:57 PM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChicaChels View Post
he might change his mind, you still have time to convince him. I mean after all, it is YOUR vagina. I can't imagine Sam telling me where i couldn have my baby...I would punch him in the taint!


That being said, if you have the right labor team you can totally do it!


Yeah, if I had a choice of a birth center I would have told Trenton that he didn't have to be there if he wasn't happy with it. I was able to have a NCB in the hospital, even without my midwife present. Just be informed about your options and stay strong when it comes to interventions you aren't comfortable with.
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  #6  
August 23rd, 2010, 05:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mgm78 View Post
can you take him on a tour/orientation? after going to ours, DH said he could not see me anywhere else.
Mine did as well! He was NOT on board with a freestanding birth center at all...once he met the midwife and saw the birth center he was totally on board and said it's the best decision ever.
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  #7  
August 23rd, 2010, 05:41 PM
SavaAngel's Avatar Mama to AJ & Katie
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Tony is a worry wort. I had problems after having my son and he is just worried it would happen again or that I would need a c-section or something. I am just tired of fighting him (and crying) about it and have decided to accept it. I can do it natural in the hospital.

I can't go to tour it cause I don't have a car. When I do take him to work and take his truck I have specific places to go/things to do and no time to go across town to the birth center.

All that said - if I stay at home long enough, maybe I will just get my home birth I wanted from the start. And to top it all off, there is a slight chance we could move before the baby is born.
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  #8  
August 23rd, 2010, 05:56 PM
JulieMc's Avatar Loving my babies. :)
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Is there maybe a hospital associated birth center that is an available option?
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  #9  
August 23rd, 2010, 06:18 PM
Lala78's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer8080 View Post
Mine did as well! He was NOT on board with a freestanding birth center at all...once he met the midwife and saw the birth center he was totally on board and said it's the best decision ever.
I think my DH was on the fence. We had an orientation meeting with one of the midwives and a tour. Then were sent home to think about it (also the center is about an hour from home, over a mountain pass and we are due Nov 3rd, so crossing fingers she's close to her EDD!!!) The next day DH said "I think we should call and sign up!" Then last week after our first appointment, we got back into the car and he said "I'm really happy we're doing this. I really like her."

Have DH read these posts!!!!! Have him meet with the center folks and ask his questions!!
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  #10  
August 23rd, 2010, 11:33 PM
SavaAngel's Avatar Mama to AJ & Katie
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JulieMc View Post
Is there maybe a hospital associated birth center that is an available option?
Not here that I have found so far. I am avoiding this one local hospital because I get a creepy feeling just walking in the front door. I have hospital paranoia. And I have heard such bad stories about the labor/delivery floor.

If we move before baby comes, maybe. One of the cities DH is looking into jobs at has a hospital that midwives deliver at. I found a OB office that has 7 OB and 3 midwives. I am actually HOPING to be moving now and I was totally against it for so long!
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Last edited by SavaAngel; August 23rd, 2010 at 11:39 PM.
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  #11  
August 24th, 2010, 05:59 AM
Tiff802's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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(((HUGS))) Christina! Yes, it is very possible to have a NCB at a hospital! Just arm yourself full of knowledge! It was also important for me to have dh on board with whatever we chose too. That's why I didn't have a homebirth with my last, but I'm getting it this time. So, I'm happy, and I had a wonderful NCB with my last one at the hospital.
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  #12  
August 24th, 2010, 08:14 AM
BobbityBoo's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I've had two hospital NCB's. The first was a very unfriendly hospital! My OB group was less than ideal to say the least. They honestly laughed at me for mentioning I wanted a NCB, it was a women even and she straight chuckled!! I did it though! I could have given birth at home though... I waited too long to get to the hospital.

With my 2nd we had moved and my OB and hospital were very NCB friendly. There are out there! I have no complaints about that birth. It was quick and went smoothly. The nurses were amazing. Over all very good hospital birth!

But I have to agree that your DH might change his mind. I really wanted a home birth with my 3rd and he said no. It made him really uncomfortable. I could have bold him over but I didn't want to do that to our relationship, so I let it go. But then after another month or so I just couldn't let the idea go. I went to talk to him and started crying. He finally agreed, he still wasn't happy about it. He wasn't happy until it was over and we had a perfect little girl. He says now he is really happy that we did it at home! He loved it!
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  #13  
August 24th, 2010, 08:36 AM
SavaAngel's Avatar Mama to AJ & Katie
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From the things Tony has said - he won't ever be happy or willing to do it anywhere but at a hospital. I am done arguing the point and me getting upset and crying does nothing for him.
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  #14  
August 24th, 2010, 01:50 PM
LadyCoconut's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Chels - I read your comment aloud to my DH I was laughing so hard.


I had a painmedfree birth in a hospital...its possible!
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  #15  
August 25th, 2010, 10:24 AM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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What are his reasons for thinking you need to be in the hospital? Does he think it's safer? if so, do research and show him statistics..they don't lie. That's what I did with Sam when I switched to a midwife. He supported whatever decision I made, because it wasn't his vagina on the line, but he still voiced his concerns. After reading the facts and meeting the midwives I selected..well, to put it mildly, he is now a huge male natural birth activist
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  #16  
August 25th, 2010, 10:33 AM
Army_Wife's Avatar Blessed times 3!
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My DH was the same way. I didn't have a choice of a birth center because there's not one near me. But when I told him I was switching from the OB who delivered my DS and DD1 to a midwife, he wasn't really happy about it. He didn't even go to my first 2 appointments with me. I convinced him to go to my third appointment, and he did admit to liking my midwife, but he didn't feel comfortable. And that was knowing that she works under an OB who would be available anytime during delivery should something arise. Anyways, long story short, I had my NCB in a hosptial. It did help that the staff was NCB-friendly. My nurses even had NCB in the birthing tub. It's totally doable to have a NCB in a hospital. After the experience of seeing my have a NCB and seeing my midwife deliver our DD2, DH said he wouldn't have it any other way. And if we have another baby, he's totally supportive of me having another NCB.
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  #17  
August 25th, 2010, 11:12 AM
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I had a NCB in a hospital as well, it is absolutely possible, especially if you have done lots of reading and research and are able to stand up for yourself. DH was initially unsure about using a midwife / homebirth, but he was unwilling to research or read much, so therefore his opinion was secondary to mine LOL. Is the birth centre near the hospital so in the rare event you may need to transfer the distance is not the issue? I hope the two of you can come to a decision together about it you are both happy with, and not just one of you making the decision (especially an un-educated/researched decision). Best of luck, I'm sure whatever you guys decide together will ultimately work out for the best!
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  #18  
August 26th, 2010, 06:32 AM
sara~b's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I had a pain-med free birth in hospital! You can do it!
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  #19  
August 26th, 2010, 07:26 AM
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My husband was very against the birth center too until he went there and seen it and met the midwives. And then after Hunter was born, he was like wow we should have done this from the start! (That's what I said! lol). So he's very pro-birth centers now! I would still try to talk him into it.
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  #20  
August 26th, 2010, 11:46 AM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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I agree, have him at least go on a tour. Most men are just like anyone else, when they know better, they do better. When I got pregnant with Cadie John suggested I have an elective section, and we went with a home birth for Vivian. They just need to be a bit more involved to really understand.
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