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  #1  
August 23rd, 2010, 07:15 PM
Tiff802's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
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So, my new DDC is already talking a lot about Natural Childbirth and of course there are women on there that are really making me angry and sad that they think all this NCB stuff is nothing but scare tactics and our OBs aren't really just scheduling c-sections and inductions to go play golf on the weekend and c-sections are often done for a reason and blah, blah, blah. I just can't handle it. Is this how it's going to be for 9 months? If so, I can't be in a DDC!
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  #2  
August 23rd, 2010, 07:33 PM
ToriLeigh's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm sorry, I love the ddc's because its people who are right there with you, but if they are unsupportive, it sucks. Have you tried checking either the one before or after you to see if it's any better? Some days, I figure I may as well hang out in the december one since my due date is so close to the beginning of jan and I have a tendancy to go early.
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  #3  
August 23rd, 2010, 07:42 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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yes, it is, sorry!
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  #4  
August 23rd, 2010, 07:52 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Some are better than others. But yeah, sometimes you just have to ignore a lot of what goes on.
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  #5  
August 23rd, 2010, 08:40 PM
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That's crazy! I'm actually pretty impressed with my DDC. There seem to be a lot of people planning a NCB and even several who have shown recent interest in waterbirth, etc. I expected it to be much worse. Of course, we have seen some schedule c-sections already, but it seems to be more NCB oriented...
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  #6  
August 23rd, 2010, 08:48 PM
alicenwonderland's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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ugh i'm sorry. Things are so far so good in my DDC, only a few talking about their scheduled days. I am noticing a worrying trend in "weight estimation ultrasounds". Many have "big babies" I'm just waiting for the announcements.
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  #7  
August 23rd, 2010, 10:13 PM
missmich
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I got into trouble in my DDC for telling the truth about circ. One woman told me I was a liar that was just trying to scare people to not get them. I posted a link that confirmed that many times during a circ. they don't use any pain meds. I was just so annoyed at the amount of women who were letting the husbands make that decision since the DH had a penis and was an expert at it or they just chose to circ. b/c Daddy was. Sorry,but for me not good enough reasons.

As far as NCB in my DDC it's a mix. Some women are getting induced b/c they have really good reasons or are having a section for good reasons. There are few though that seem to trust the doctor and whatever they say is best and they don't ask questions or have a birth plan or anything. I feel bad for them. They really don't understand that it's their birth and they have choices that are allowed to make.
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  #8  
August 23rd, 2010, 10:54 PM
lulumama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Give it some time. You might find that some NCB-ers join in, or that as time goes by, some might come around to a more natural way of thinking...
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  #9  
August 23rd, 2010, 11:38 PM
SavaAngel's Avatar Mama to AJ & Katie
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Avoid those threads. Or just give your opinion and walk away from that thread. I have done both. Dec DDC has a lot of people that want to have or have already had a natural birth.

Tori - I say join the Dec DDC! I am sure you would be welcomed!
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  #10  
August 24th, 2010, 04:53 AM
Urchin's Avatar Loving every minute.
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I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way! I often worry about not "fitting in" or relating to those in my own DDC once I get pregnant.

I feel pretty strongly about NCB, but I can also see the sides of other people's decisions too. What irks me are the people who never ask questions and go through life "blindly," just letting other people tell them what is "right." It just feels like such a lazy way of life.

I hope you can find a group of girls that you can get additional support from at your DDC. DDC's are so beneficial in terms of having someone else who you can relate to. *hugs*
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  #11  
August 24th, 2010, 05:52 AM
Tiff802's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks ladies. I am thankful that there are a couple of us that are pro-NCB and can ban together. But, you know when a few people disagree with something that you are so passionate about, it's hard to take. I think I might get involved with a DDC over on the Mothering board so I can feel a bit better, lol.
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  #12  
August 24th, 2010, 06:36 AM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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On a different forum I use to belong to my DDC was crazy. All it was was people getting a u/s every week, scheduling inductionsn and c-sections at 38 weeks. All were having "big babies" etc. I told them I was having a homebirth and they all went crazy! I checked in after the babies were born and all the "big babies" were 7 lbs. My homebirth baby was 8 lbs.
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  #13  
August 24th, 2010, 07:25 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alicenwonderland View Post
ugh i'm sorry. Things are so far so good in my DDC, only a few talking about their scheduled days. I am noticing a worrying trend in "weight estimation ultrasounds". Many have "big babies" I'm just waiting for the announcements.
I am in your DDC and I agree. I think it has been for the most part a very tollerant/sensitive group with a range of viewpoints, and that is just fine wih me.
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  #14  
August 24th, 2010, 07:55 AM
BobbityBoo's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think I lucked out with mine and we were all very tolerant of others' views, so there were no crazy arguments or people getting offended. There were quite a few NCBers in there, plus we had Kim (Frugality) who ended up being our BF'ing resident expert. I did have to check out towards the end though when there were so many inductions and things. But now it's okay again as a PR.
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  #15  
August 24th, 2010, 08:33 AM
Crafty Mama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Someone in my DDC actually pointed this out to me! They said that there was bickering in other DDC's about stuff like that, and that they were glad our DDC wasn't like that. I've only seen some bickering a few times in my DDC so far.. But I checked it out, and it looked like ONE person was causing the trouble in your DDC. She made it sound like she was personally being attacked when she really hadn't been, no one had even made any comments towards her. She was just too defensive of doctors and felt she needed to stand up for them or something? I guess if it was the other way around, and people were chatting about inductions and sections and stuff, I'd be like, OMG this is driving me crazy, but I don't think I'd pipe in at all, why cause the drama. It was a thread meant to see who was interested in natural birth, just to get a feel for who was in the DDC and what common interests people had, not a place to debate which one was better. I think people should know not to stir the pot, ya know?
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  #16  
August 24th, 2010, 08:50 AM
pressedfairie's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vandertramp View Post
I am in your DDC and I agree. I think it has been for the most part a very tollerant/sensitive group with a range of viewpoints, and that is just fine wih me.


I love our DDC. It's very supportive to many viewpoints, which I appreciate. I have always been a proponent of natural medicine, so natural birth was an easy decision for me to make, but I think some people are just not informed enough to make the best decisions, and they hand over the decision-making to their doctors without realizing that doctors are people too and may not always be right. That said, I have learned a lot from my DDC. I had never actually heard of co-sleeping or would have thought about cloth diapering had it not been from some informative posts in my DDC.
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  #17  
August 24th, 2010, 08:52 AM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
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My DDC had tons of NCBs, but a lot of inductions/c-sections too. I feel like the pro-induction people vocalize their opinions a lot more and the pro-NCB ladies tend to just stay out of the drama. I tried to offer my opinion when it came to threads about inductions for "big babies" or "I'm 38 weeks and not dilated so I must be broken." Otherwise, I avoided them.
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  #18  
August 24th, 2010, 09:11 AM
sara~b's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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The August DDC seemed to be pretty 50/50. A lot of us were pro-NCB, BF'ing, cloth diapering, etc. And a lot were all about when they could get their doctor to schedule an induction or c-section. I kind of ended up in the middle because I did end up with an induction in the hospital instead of my NCB birth center birth but I still felt strongly about not having all the pain meds and other interventions and didn't let the hospital vax Ash. For the most part I think the first 2 months and the last 2 months of the DDC experience pretty much suck. Either you're defending your beliefs or your watching and waiting and cringing at all the ignorance. I haven't read anyone's birth stories because I just don't want to know...
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  #19  
August 24th, 2010, 09:50 AM
cheezpoofs's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I find Due Date Clubs to be the most difficult in the beginning and at the end of everyone's pregnancies. The beginning is tough because of many early losses and discussions of birth plans. Many (first-time mommies especially) just couldn't possibly imagine trying to have a natural childbirth and are expecting the tv/ movie birth experience. The end is especially hard because then you see the increase in inductions for "big babies" and those that are "done being pregnant" and often, it's hard to feel sorry that some don't get a good birthing experience because of their own ignorant or selfish choices. In my last Due Date Club, I found it especially aggravating at the end because of all the threads about how impatient the Mommies were (especially when there was one per day from one Mommy), even BEFORE their due dates. My baby was the last one in the Due Date Club to be born at forty-two weeks plus three days. It's really hard not to snap "Be patient and deal with it, lady! It's not the end of the world. Your child won't be staying in the womb until teenagerhood... " when you are trying to be patient for your own "overdue" baby yourself. I am prepared to go "overdue" this time too, and because I am again due at the end of the month, I will probably have the last baby again. I'll just avoid visiting the Due Date Club board at that time if I need to.

My current Due Date Club can be treacherous in arguments. We've had one nasty thread argument so far and we're not that old yet... We have several mods and such, though, so it doesn't get too out of hand and we're all adults about our disagreements and don't get too much hurt feelings over it.
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  #20  
August 24th, 2010, 12:51 PM
Jule'sMomInOR's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I don't get the point about the scare tactics. Are they saying we, who advocate NCB, are trying to scare them? Why would we do anything like that? I think scare tactics apply more to OBs who try to get women to be induced or have a c/s because doctors are practicing CYA. But whatever. I think that a NCB is harder for the mother (in the short term) but better for the baby and better for the mom in the long term, is it's them and their babies who will suffer. Sad, but not much we can do about it.
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