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Pep Talk? Make me feel like less of a freak show!


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
September 8th, 2010, 11:39 AM
lulumama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,510
Everyone in my DDC is having their babies, either early, or inducing or sectioning before 40 weeks. Some are for medical reasons, but lately it seems like lots of the inductions are just because mama is done with being pregnant.

There are very few of us holding out past our EDD, at least so far, and I am so disheartened every time I'm in there because I feel like such an outsider...

I'm ready to go to 42 weeks if NSTs show that baby's doing fine - I have my first NST scheduled for Friday (40 weeks and 5 days).

Can you all help me remember that I'm not a freak of nature for being 3 or 4 days past due and only 1cm dilated? I probably should stay away from the DDC for a while - I love the women in there but we are different philosophically and I think right now it's pretty apparent that I'm in the minority of our group. And I don't think many of them know how to support me a whole lot because I'm sure in the back of their minds they're just wondering why I'm not getting induced.

(And to the NCBers who ARE a part of the Sept DDC, it's ALWAYS reassuring to see posts from you. I just think most of you have due dates past mine so I don't have you "representing" for the ladies who are going to let their babies arrive on baby's timetable, not mama's and not the doctor's schedule.)
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~~~~~~~~~Sarah~~~~~~~~~~~

Forever missing our baby boy, Otis Allen, born September 12, 2010 at 41 wks; left this world 36 hours later.


Blessed with our Maui Miracle - Owen Kekoa, born 9/19/11 at 35w3d!
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  #2  
September 8th, 2010, 12:04 PM
Tiki's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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*hugz* You are doing what is best for you and your baby You should feel proud of yourself.
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  #3  
September 8th, 2010, 12:07 PM
Angel.Eyes4351's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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You're not a freak show... your due date is just an estimate... and your baby will show up when he is ready! Hugs!
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  #4  
September 8th, 2010, 02:40 PM
missmich
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Hey lulu we're in the same DDC and I feel the same way you do about the inductions and I know for a fact that a couple other ladies feel the same way. I'm not overdue yet,my EDD is this Friday. I'm totally willing to go over that of he doesn't come by then. I'm not expecting him to arrive on time anyway. My body doesn't feel ready and I haven't had any signs of labor at all and I also still have stuff to do! lol

Sure I'm feeling big and my belly is really getting in the way of day to things and my feet are swollen,but they don't really hurt and I can't wait to be rid of this dang heartburn,but I'm letting my son stay in there until he's ready or until closer to 41-42 weeks. The doc told me today she's like him out by September 21. I guess I'm ok with that since I know that it's better he comes around that time then to stay in to long.
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  #5  
September 8th, 2010, 03:25 PM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
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Hang in there! It happens to all of us. I had DD almost a month early on May 25th. I was in the June 09 DDC and she was one of the LATER babies born, NO JOKE. ***? It seemed as if more than half of the babies were born BEFORE June!
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  #6  
September 8th, 2010, 03:30 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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Location: south eastern Mass
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this happens with every DDC. It was really weird for me being in this past July DDC because I had the 3rd baby, a month early. She came on her own and was 7 lbs and I had no desire to have her that early. I really had no leg to stand on trying to encourage the others to be patient. I know with my first, I had to take a break from our DDC for that exact reason. It's frustrating for sure!
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  #7  
September 8th, 2010, 03:56 PM
marmeeof5's Avatar Host of Green Mommies
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Sometimes a break (from the DDC) is a good thing! You are not a freak! You are a well-informed, caring Mommy who is doing your best to give your precious baby boy a healthy start in life!! Don't get sucked into this world's instant gratification mentality. Enjoy every moment, every kick, every hiccup. They are gone all too soon! We're here to cheer you on!
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  #8  
September 8th, 2010, 04:20 PM
lulumama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks so much, ladies!

Mich, I was thinking about you today. I know you're on my team. It's just so weird to watch all this happening and to feel so out on a limb and in a minority. I need to just hang out in here for the next week I think.
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~~~~~~~~~Sarah~~~~~~~~~~~

Forever missing our baby boy, Otis Allen, born September 12, 2010 at 41 wks; left this world 36 hours later.


Blessed with our Maui Miracle - Owen Kekoa, born 9/19/11 at 35w3d!
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  #9  
September 8th, 2010, 05:10 PM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
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Location: North Carolina
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We had a few NCB ladies in Abri's PR but I think we all were scarce at the end for the same reasons. Abri's due date was the 25th of April and seriously the week before there were only a small handful of us who hadn't had our babies and not even overdue. Everyone else just went early for whatever reason
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  #10  
September 8th, 2010, 05:28 PM
MaggieLizer's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I really like what Mary said about it all being over so quickly. My baby was born 3 hours past his EDD (and ON his EDD according to my own calculations) but I was fully prepared to go to 41-42 weeks if necessary. I look back now and I almost wish he had come a little later so I could have had a litte more time being pregnant because now I really miss it.

I know it's hard to appreciate this time when you're so anxious to meet your baby! But you know you are doing what's best and I'm sure you will have a wonderful birth - and hopefully very soon!!
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  #11  
September 8th, 2010, 06:53 PM
Alison79's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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It is hard! My last three were all past their due dates (42w4d, 40w4d and 41w4d) so I completely understand. If I found myself getting upset with posts I would hang out here or on Facebook where I had more support for natural birth. At the time a week or two seems like forever but once all the babies are born it's like the bink of an eye.
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  #12  
September 9th, 2010, 12:51 AM
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On average first babies are born (naturally) at 41 weeks. And that's an average. In france you aren't even considered 'over due' until 43 weeks. You aren't the freak
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  #13  
September 9th, 2010, 07:15 AM
Sk8ermaiden's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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You are not a freak! I was 1 cm and 70% the night I went into labor - 41 weeks, 6 days!
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  #14  
September 9th, 2010, 07:25 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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I totally understand what you are saying. I am in the DDC the month after you (oct.) and it feels like we already have a lot of babies being born or ones who are/will be scheduled shortly. My MW does not even do NSTs as a matter of course until 42 weeks.
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  #15  
September 9th, 2010, 08:21 AM
GranolaMamaOf3's Avatar ~Heather~
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This is part of the reason I haven't been very active in our DDC...Every time I go in there I get discouraged, frustrated, or just annoyed!

Hang in there, and just remember- We are not the weird ones! We are simply trying to do what best for our babies!

((Hugs)) You are not alone!!
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  #16  
September 9th, 2010, 10:36 AM
sara~b's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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You can do it! Hang in there!
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  #17  
September 9th, 2010, 10:47 AM
ardisbaby's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hugs to you Sarah! I get frustrated too, not only because it makes me feel like i'm the weirdo but it also makes me sad for those babies. It doesn't seem like it even takes ANY research to understand that forcing babies out early is not good physically or psychologically to mom or baby! Regardless of all the data supporting that, it also JUST MAKES SENSE!!

Mich-i've noticed that you are pretty good at being blunt in informing people about their natural birth options, good for you! I usually take the more hopeless stance of just thinking nobody cares.

Keep doing the right thing Sarah, you are going to be a Mom who really thinks and cares about the decisions you make for your child and the fruits of those efforts are going to payoff tenfold.
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  #18  
September 9th, 2010, 12:48 PM
lulumama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh Alisha, thank you so much for that. You just made me cry! I'm with you - I feel like most of the mamas there just don't care...I mean of course they care about their babies but it's like if an OB is suggesting something then OF COURSE it must be a healthy suggestion.

Today I'm feeling totally bolstered by my decision to let this baby decide when he's ready. I'm totally feeling myself in early labor and how it rises and falls, ebbs and flows, and how natural that is; and I really really feel connected to my little boy and to the idea that forcing him to do anything at this point would have been a really really poor decision.

Thanks so much, all of you! Wise women on this board, that's for darn sure!!!
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~~~~~~~~~Sarah~~~~~~~~~~~

Forever missing our baby boy, Otis Allen, born September 12, 2010 at 41 wks; left this world 36 hours later.


Blessed with our Maui Miracle - Owen Kekoa, born 9/19/11 at 35w3d!
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  #19  
September 9th, 2010, 01:27 PM
missmich
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Alisha blunt is one "b word" that can be used for me and they way I inform people of their natural birth options. Hahaha! I'm sure some of the women in our DDC can think of another "b word" they'd rather use though. lol

It makes me sad when a woman says something like "I trust the doc all the way and whatever he says goes" or "I don't want to BF b/c my boobs will hurt" or something silly like that. Don't get me started on the circ issue and some of the reasons that I personally get annoyed when I hear some mamas have for it. I got into a little trouble over that topic in our DDC,but I didn't back down. I just tried to be honest and informative and did provide some good links. I was called a liar and fear monger by one woman though.

I really do believe that my baby and my body will work together and get ready for the birth on their own and my job will just to go along with it you know.

Last edited by missmich; September 10th, 2010 at 05:03 AM.
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  #20  
September 9th, 2010, 06:18 PM
cheezpoofs's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My precious Lucius was born smoothly, perfect, healthy and beautiful at forty-two weeks plus three days.

The last few days of pregnancy are tough, but try your best to be patient. Baby will come when s/he is ready and that is the exact right time for him/her to be born. You can do it, Mama!
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