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Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
September 17th, 2010, 06:28 AM
PixieQueen's Avatar Hi-Tech Hippie
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A woman wrote this about why 'birth rape' is an appropriate term in some cases. Everyday Rebel: Birth Rape or a Negative Birth Experience?136E6DD8-DFCF-BEF6-B3B0-3A76FDFF356A
1.02.28
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  #2  
September 17th, 2010, 01:31 PM
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I really liked this blog. It just breaks me heart that people have to go through that! I definitely agree that the term birth rape is appropriate.

I'm sitting here with my DH and gave him a summary of the blog and he said he doesnt believe those type of horror stories. I argued with him saying I experienced a small part of this while pregnant and giving birth to my oldest DD. The doc walked in and came at me with scissors, didn't even say hi. I questioned him asking if he needed to do that and he just flattly answered "yes". So I can totally see how this situations can escalate. He still disagreed. But what I thought was great is that his mom who is a nurse and not really into my whole "natural birth thing" agreed with ME!! She said she totally sees doctors to that kind of thing and also experienced a doctor be rude and rough with her while pregnant with DH's brother.

The is an anonymous comment about 3 or 4 down that says "incorrect term". And explains that you have a choice to sue the doctor that causes you pain so it shouldn't be deemed rape. But that argument is ridiculous! Just for the sheer fact that people still call it rape and press charges when talking about sexual assult. The whole point is that you do have a choice but the doctor or person in authority doesn't make you feel like their is ba choice and they are putting their will above yours.

Sorry... NAK!
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  #3  
September 17th, 2010, 02:20 PM
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I recently blogged about this here: Bellies and Babies: When I say No....

I have been in this argument many times with different people.. usually women who have been raped/experienced other sexual abuse in the past but never experienced birth rape. They have a hard time equating 'birth' with 'rape'... somewhat (and I know I am stepping on some toes here) the same way people have a hard time equating 'birth' with 'orgasmic'.. BUT, it is a sexual (1. Of, relating to, involving, or characteristic of sex, sexuality, the sexes, or the sex organs and their functions) thing and can be painful, pleasurable, rape, transcendent, etc...

Women who have been through BOTH sexual abuse/rape AND birth rape can tell you - it feels (emotionally and physically) and affects you the same.
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  #4  
September 17th, 2010, 04:52 PM
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I wonder if people who have experienced sexual rape are more sensitive to uncomfortable or demeaning medical procedures and perceive them as rape because of their pasts? I could see how childbirth would be a very uncomfortable experience to a survivor of rape, just as I could understand how breastfeeding might be repulsive to someone who has been sexually abused.
I would never speak for someone else in this instance, but that's the first thing I thought of. I did have the same thing happen after having my first son where my OB had to put her arm inside me to stop bleeding. It was terrible, happened without my consent, was excruciating and horrifying, but I definitely wouldn't relate it to rape.
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  #5  
September 17th, 2010, 11:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kristenpie View Post
I wonder if people who have experienced sexual rape are more sensitive to uncomfortable or demeaning medical procedures and perceive them as rape because of their pasts?
Somewhat. I can see what you mean.. I have worked with women who simply could not open for birth because of their fear of being touched inappropriately. They only 'progressed' when the nurses and doctors were out of the room and it was just their SO and I with them.

OTOH, I think that it is something that makes ppl uncomfortable to talk about the possibility of those in 'authority' over us could be doing something as wrong as RAPE. I mean, that is a strong term.

BUT, as I stated in my post, rape is not always about sexual interactions or about the male and female sexual organs.... women rape women, men and women rape opposite or same sex with 'tools' and doctor's rape women (as a show of authority or to make the woman submit to his/her power) with scalpels, scissors, gloved (or ungloved) fingers, speculum, and more.

i have worked with women who have been raped - they felt disempowered, shamed, angry, like they should have been able to stop it, afraid, sexually afraid, and have PTSD or PTSD like reactions... women who have experienced TRUE birth rape (with or without sexual abuse in their pasts) feel: disempowered, shamed, angry, like they should have been able to stop it, afraid, sexually afraid, and have PTSD or PTSD-like reactions.

They both have to do with their sexual organs and both have to do with being overpowered by someone that they do not give consent to.
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  #6  
September 18th, 2010, 07:36 AM
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Wow. Those descriptions make me feel ill. I agree that there are definitely many negative birth experiences that do not fall under any such term... but I think it's clear some do. Someone in a place of authority doing something to your body that you do not consent to, with the intention of causing pain, while telling you that it's your fault, you deserved it, etc? Yeah, I can definitely accept that it qualifies as a form of "rape." Terrible.
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  #7  
September 18th, 2010, 06:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lunarmagic View Post
Wow. Those descriptions make me feel ill. I agree that there are definitely many negative birth experiences that do not fall under any such term... but I think it's clear some do. Someone in a place of authority doing something to your body that you do not consent to, with the intention of causing pain, while telling you that it's your fault, you deserved it, etc? Yeah, I can definitely accept that it qualifies as a form of "rape." Terrible.
I completely agree with you. I definitely feel that if someone does something to your body that you do not consent to, that is a form of abuse and can qualify as a form of rape. It is just awful!!
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  #8  
September 18th, 2010, 07:22 PM
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There was an article on this, I think on the Unnecesarean FB page, and a few rape survivors said that they believe it IS rape because women are penetrated against their will, just with scissors, forceps, vacuums, and hands instead of a penis. After the two births I've had now I fully agree.
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  #9  
September 19th, 2010, 06:45 AM
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It is rape. Rape does not mean sexual penetration, it means penetration against your will with objects in your sexual organs. Or atleast thats the meaning I've always found. If a Doctor shoves his/her hand up there, starts cutting you, putting objects in and this is against your will or consent, it's rape.

I had a haunting experience with my first. I won't call my rape, but it is something that is on my mind daily, 3 years later.
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  #10  
September 23rd, 2010, 01:26 PM
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I honestly, have never heard of such aweful experiences. These stories sound like the doctors have come close to kiling these mothers by their lack of compassion. I seems that people totally against the term seem to feel that birth is an any means to the end kind of experience. I feel so bad for these women and I really wish there was true support for them. Suing someone doesn't take away the pain or long term effects of the treatment. I have a feeling that many women (especially the really young ones) take no action against these monsters with MD or CNM after their name. They are too ashamed and feel it is their fault. I also feel that at one time, the same type of arguements were used against victims of sexual assult or assault in general. It still is seen in cases of husbands abusing their wives and for many males victims. However, I don't feel that my opinion holds too much water as I have luckly not been a victim of sexual rape or birth rape. Just my 2 cents. Sorry for the ramble.
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