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Why can't people just be understanding?!


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #21  
September 25th, 2010, 05:33 AM
marmeeof5's Avatar Host of Green Mommies
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I wish I were back in FL already! I have to sell my house in KY and then I'll be moving to Sarasota. I'm a doula and would love to help you out! I hope you find the perfect one for your situation soon and your Mom sees what a benefit a doula can be!
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  #22  
September 25th, 2010, 06:48 AM
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Well - the good news is that I got an email back from one of doulas and I'm hoping to set up a meeting with her for next week. DH will be gone, but he's totally on board with a doula so I'm thinking that maybe I can bring my mom along with me so she can see the benefit of it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by marmeeof5 View Post
I wish I were back in FL already! I have to sell my house in KY and then I'll be moving to Sarasota. I'm a doula and would love to help you out! I hope you find the perfect one for your situation soon and your Mom sees what a benefit a doula can be!
Darn! Maybe for the next baby!
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  #23  
September 25th, 2010, 10:13 AM
WhoaMomma!'s Avatar Danielle
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Northern Virginia
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Hi! I realize my input is not going to be what you want to hear, but I figured I'd throw it out there anyway for you to mull over. My mom was also like that while I was pregnant. EVERYTHING was about her and how it impacted her. She wanted me to have an epidural so SHE didn't have to see me in pain; she got angry when I told her I was using a midwife bc she saw that as me rejecting her profession (she's an OB); she was furious when I told her she would have to leave the room for the birth bc my DH and I wanted it to be just us; and while I was in labor she kept complaining about being hungry and the traffic she sat in to get to the hospital. In retrospect I wish I hadn't let her in the room AT ALL. She put so much more stress on me while i was in labor and in the days afterward bc she made EVERYTHING about her.

I would see this reaction as a warning sign. If this is totally out of character for her and she gets over it quickly, fine. But if this is "so her" or becomes a pattern, you need to give some serious thought to not having her in the room. I can't describe to you how much damage it does to you to have anyone in the room who isn't there solely to support YOU.
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  #24  
September 26th, 2010, 04:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhoaMomma! View Post

I would see this reaction as a warning sign. If this is totally out of character for her and she gets over it quickly, fine. But if this is "so her" or becomes a pattern, you need to give some serious thought to not having her in the room. I can't describe to you how much damage it does to you to have anyone in the room who isn't there solely to support YOU.
I'm not entirely concerned about her comment. It irritated me at the time, but everything irritates me these days. I know when it comes down to it she's going to support me and my decisions. This is her first grandchild and there is no way that I would not have her there, and she knows if she wants to be there she's got to support my decisions.
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  #25  
September 26th, 2010, 07:26 AM
wonderfullymade's Avatar Doula & MW Apprentice
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Location: Galveston, TX
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer8080 View Post
Well - the good news is that I got an email back from one of doulas and I'm hoping to set up a meeting with her for next week. DH will be gone, but he's totally on board with a doula so I'm thinking that maybe I can bring my mom along with me so she can see the benefit of it.
:clap s:

I think this is awesome! Yay for finally getting a response. Here is to hoping for even more responses and interviews so that you have a CHOICE in which doula is for you!

I also think that what the pp said was very spot-on, a negative person CAN greatly impact your birth, but, we can only advise you of this, you know your mom's regular temperament and if it is something to be cautious of or not. AND, it is a great idea to bring dear ol mom with you to this interview - it will 'show her true colors' about her role in the labor and how she might help or hinder it, and it will also help her to become more understanding...

Mama Jennifer, you are such a wise mama!
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