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Need some help (x-posted)


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
September 22nd, 2010, 06:21 PM
WhoaMomma!'s Avatar Danielle
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Ok, ladies, my sister, cousin, and I are going to be working together under one pen name to put together a response to this article:

Opinion: There Is No Such Thing As Birth Rape - ParentDish

Any thoughts? I'm trying to figure out where/how to start.
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  #2  
September 22nd, 2010, 06:33 PM
Kelllilee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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wow... that just makes me so mad I can't even focus on the screen. Mostly the responses from commenters. Unless you have experienced it, you cannot say what did or did not happen to someone else. No one ever said having a vaginal exam was rape, or having a c/s was rape. Birth rape is real, but not what she obviously thinks it is.
GRRR
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  #3  
September 22nd, 2010, 07:08 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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I guess that person thinks it's ok to sue over being "refused" an epidural but nothing else, ugh.
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  #4  
September 22nd, 2010, 07:15 PM
bostoncreampie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My first impression is that the writer is a victim of sexual rape herself. I just don't know why else she would have said any of that. If so, her blood probably boils when she hears women who have experienced something maybe not as traumatic compare it to her trauma? Who knows.

What she said is wrong, but when I get the impression that people have experienced terrible grief and are damaged, I don't feel right arguing.
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  #5  
September 22nd, 2010, 08:11 PM
bostoncreampie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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ok, i nicely responded.
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  #6  
September 23rd, 2010, 02:49 AM
WhoaMomma!'s Avatar Danielle
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She is a rape survivor. But I agree she obviously doesn't understand (and since she linked to articles written about birth rape I believe it's a refusal to understand bc she's obviously read some of the stories) what is meant by birth rape. I want to put together an educational response including how to get help so that victims don't stumble across that article with no opposing viewpoint piece and think that they shouldn't ask for help. But I think I need to explain what birth rape IS bc it's not exams and disappointing c-sections. Can anyone help me out? I only have my own experience and it's mild compared to what a lot of women have been thru.
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  #7  
September 23rd, 2010, 07:37 AM
Kelllilee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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put a description of a birth rape into a context that does not describe that it's a doctor and during a birth and ask if they would consider it rape if it happened in a back alley. Then ask if it changes because it was a medical situation....

I've been thinking about that recently and trying to figure out how to write it up that way...
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  #8  
September 23rd, 2010, 08:55 AM
BobbityBoo's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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This just came up in another thread. This blog is a really good description of what birth rape actually is.
http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f2...blog-post.html (Very powerful blog post)

What I don't like about this Amy woman's article is that she makes everyone think the women who are using the term birth rape are referring to unwanted vaginal exams. Everyone's responses are based on incorrect info.
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  #9  
September 23rd, 2010, 10:03 AM
wonderfullymade's Avatar Doula & MW Apprentice
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I was going to show you back to the previous thread too I would go there and read.. feel free to 'borrow' information from my post as well, I am happy to share if it will help bring light to this occurrence.
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  #10  
September 23rd, 2010, 10:29 AM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
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Too many of these responses are completely hateful. I agree that you do need a correct definition of what birth rape is. It is not normal childbirth and vaginal exams where an ob/nurse/midwife has asked permission to check. It isn't an unexpected c-section in most cases. I'd say the majority of childbirth experiences are considered normal, some are traumatic, but there are those that I would definitely classify as rape where a doctor is on a power trip and purposefully does a rough check and verbally belittles the mother.

It's like how rape victims are "asking for it" because they dress too sexy or they flirt too much. Just because a woman is in labor doesn't make assault okay.

I haven't been a victim of either, so it's hard for me to determine what the terminology should be, but no one should pretend that this kind of assault doesn't happen in childbirth.
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  #11  
September 23rd, 2010, 03:52 PM
WhoaMomma!'s Avatar Danielle
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Such a different rxn from my PR - where someone asked me if I was seeking psychological help
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  #12  
September 23rd, 2010, 07:22 PM
JulieMc's Avatar Loving my babies. :)
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I think she is simply protesting the use of the word "rape". Both the act of being sexually raped and this so called "birth rape" are horrible things and I don't think she is discounting that in any way. She just wants it called something different, something more accurate. In the case of birth, it's not sexual.... the women who refer to it as birth rape would probably also be taken a lot more seriously if it had a better term. I don't know what the term should be, but some instances would definitely be a form of assault.

Hate on me if you want, but I kinda agree that it should be called something different.
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Last edited by JulieMc; September 23rd, 2010 at 07:27 PM.
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  #13  
September 23rd, 2010, 11:23 PM
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^^ I think 'rape' is generally not sexual. (aside from sex organs being involved) It's usually about power not sex. So it seems to apply here.
I agree - the link here is a good response. (((hugs))) I'm sorry your PR doesn't get it.
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  #14  
September 24th, 2010, 07:50 AM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
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I agree that rape isn't really about sex. It is most definitely about power and control. Same rule applies during childbirth. The offenders are not getting off sexually when they hurt women, they are on a power trip or just hate women in general.
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