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I can't decide, and I need to! (x-posted)


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
October 16th, 2010, 12:46 PM
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I wrote this to my fellow DDCers, but was wondering what you ladies think as well.

So, I've been going back in forth. I don't know if I want to birth at the birth center that my MW runs, or if I should go to the hospital. So, I'm wondering if anyone has had a birth center experience they'd like to share, or someone who has done both ways, and which they were happier about.
They will both be extremely different experiences. At the birth center, I will be going home about 3 hours or so after birth. The baby gets her hearing test, I believe. I don't think they do blood tests or anything down there. Then, the next day I have to take her to a pediatrician. (The pediatrician I chose requires this.)
At the hospital, of course, you stay the overnight, and they monitor you constantly. Some things I didn't like about the hospital is the random hospital workers that drop in to bother you, and how they will randomly take your baby for testing when you're sleeping. With every child, I woke up wondering where my baby was. It was horrifying for me. Of course, I should just assume that they are testing him/her, but my mind always goes to the worst possible thing that could happen. They don't even tell me what kind of testing is being done. So, that always seemed to bother me. Then they give you a list an arm long about what you need to do before you can be discharged. You can't carry your baby around. They have to be in a bassinet. (Hospital liability, blah blah.) I'm not going to drop my baby.... And I didn't get to hold them directly after the birth. First, they make sure they are "ok" and then give them to you. So, I've never been the first to hold my child...
I guess what worries me about the birth center, is getting her home, and realizing there may be something wrong with her. And if something happened to her over the place of birth I chose, I would never forgive myself. But I'm sure this could also happen the hospital route as well. But who knows? Maybe a birth center has a whole new list of cons that I've never experienced because I've never gone that route? I don't know...I'm hoping a few of you ladies have some stories or advice for me. Thank you all.
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  #2  
October 16th, 2010, 02:10 PM
4seasons's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm lurking but have had the exact experiences you are wondering about... I had my first child at a hospital. Nothing terrible happened, but I hated it, for all the reasons you mentioned. I was totally uncomfortable being there, and didn't like dozens of different nurses always taking her away, etc. Also, how is anybody supposed to get rest during labor or post partem when every 5 mins you hear a page for some nurse or doctor? Ugh, that was so aggravating. There was no way I could be there for 2 days, so I insisted on going home after 24 hrs, and of course they gave me a hard time. Blah. I could go on and on...

So, when I got pg with #2, I immediately starting looking into alternatives. Luckily I found a free standing birth center owned by 2 of the best midwives I've ever met. That experience was amazingly incredible in comparison. I was in the birthing tub 90% of my labor, delivered in the tub, and then me, hubby, and new baby boy slept in a king size bed for a while and then went back to the comfort and security of home, where babies belong. The midwives are fully trained to do newborn asessments and care; they won't let you go home if something seems wrong. Hospitals have their place- when you're sick or hurt. Also, my midwives do 3 post-partem home visits to check on me and baby over the first week or two. And of course, if anything seems out of the ordinary, then you'll call the doctor.

I'm having my last baby, and my new insurance company doesn't want to cover me to deliver at the same birthing center, but I'm fighting them tooth and nail. (And I think I'm gonna win!) Not to be dramatic, but I'd have an unassisted home birth before I'd deliver in a hospital again (barring an emergency, obviously). That's just my (long) 2 cents...
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  #3  
October 16th, 2010, 02:36 PM
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Thank you very much! That definitely is a great help to me to know someones been through exactly what I have. (Although, I'm sure many of many have.) Thank you for sharing your story.
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  #4  
October 16th, 2010, 05:33 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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wow your hospital birth story makes me so sad. I would never go back to the hospital (unless necessary, obviously)...i cant believe they just took your baby while you were sleeping! I would knock heads and freak out so badly they'd probably end up sedating me! they do all the testing in our room at the hospital bry was born at...oh how horrible that must have been for you!


how is your pregnancy thus far? how have your past deliveries gone? if all have been pretty uneventful, i would be the first person at the birth center! also, remember that your MW is trained to see when hospital transfer becomes necessary, so the chances of something going wrong probably are pretty slim i hope you get a better birth experience this time, regardless of where you deliver
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  #5  
October 16th, 2010, 06:11 PM
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I loved the hospital! Sure i wasn't the first to hold my baby, but no one took my baby anywhere without telling me. No one bothered me in the middle of the night either. I really enjoyed the nurses, i loved having people wait on me, and i loved having food brought to me in bed lol. I didn't want to leave.
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  #6  
October 16th, 2010, 06:43 PM
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My previous pregnancies have been uneventful. The only problems I've had were associated with the epidural. That, and the doctor who delivered for me last pulled on the cord, making my uterus turn inside out. When I read what I wrote to myself, it seems obvious that I should go BC. I guess I wasn't sure how trained midwives were in the infants care after birth. I've been told by a few that they are in fact trained in that area.
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  #7  
October 17th, 2010, 07:19 AM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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oh yes they're very trained
Also, i love your kids naems..especially Brittlynn! beautiful!
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Maverick Jude
December 9, 2013
5:20PM 8lb3oz 20.5"
Hospital water birth
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  #8  
October 17th, 2010, 08:59 AM
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Thank you
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  #9  
October 17th, 2010, 06:52 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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if you have a birth center near you, make an appointment for a tour!
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  #10  
October 17th, 2010, 07:42 PM
purplelady's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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hi i've been lurking here for the last few days. i also posted infrequently two years ago when i was preggo with my third.
i had my first two girls at the hospital. with my first it was very traumatic. . i labored fine and was relaxed until we pulled into the hospital parking lot, everything went down hill after that. she was 5lbs 12oz and they still had to use suction to get her out. i had to have an epsi. i went through hour an half of pushing.th the lactation consultant made me so uncomfortable that it made breastfeeding hard for me and tru. so when tru started to reject me i just gave up. the nurse told me at one point that i either needed to let them give her a bottle of they would have to tube her and feed her that way. that scared me so i caved and let them bottle feed her.
with my second i had an epi, pushed for two hours and had to have another epsi.
for me the hospital in general makes me uncomfortable, and there for makes my labors harder.
with my third daughter i decided to go through our local birth center and have a water birth. the mw were wonderful. my labor was easy and relaxed. if your interested in my birth story its in the august 08 playroom. anyways i pushed for a whole 9min and barely tore. the atmosphere was so relaxed, both rowan and i took to bf like champs. and my favorite part was the fact that i was home in my own bed four hours after i had her.
the difference for me was unbelievable. this time around i plan to go through the birth center again. i totally recommend water births, they make a world of difference
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  #11  
October 17th, 2010, 09:15 PM
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Thank you for your story! I'll definitely look into your full birth story.
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  #12  
October 18th, 2010, 12:57 PM
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I had a hospital birth (and will this time again) but it was very different from yours. Granted the labor (induced then 2 failed epidurals after 19 hours of pitocin) was hell, but the birth itself was great. I was the first to hold the baby. They laid him on my chest while they were letting the cord stop pulsating. Also the nursery never took him without telling me first. Only bad one there is they took to long to bring him back once- so I went down and got him. I hated being there as long as I was- but he tested with a possible heart murmur (was gone the next day) and he failed his hearing test (passed with flying colors when I took him back.

I would love to do a birth center but ours closed. And our insurance will not cover it at all, and I can not afford to pay out of pocket.
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  #13  
October 19th, 2010, 06:44 PM
Lucky Mama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My last birth sounded a lot like yours. In the hospital, the birth was fine, but they kept taking my baby when I was alseep, waking me up in the middle of the night, the meals were cold and always LATE (plus, they would never let DH eat anything there, even when we offered to pay for it)... I would never go back to a hospital again by choice after all that!

I am having this baby at home, but I think birth centers are wonderful options! Midwives are usually very knowledgeable and skilled in areas of the health of mother AND baby. Just do your research and go with what you feel best about! Good luck!
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  #14  
October 19th, 2010, 07:04 PM
Caelen's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I gave birth to my son in a hospital. It was called a birth center, but it was their L&D building connected to the hospital. I don't think it was a real birth center. So if I were you, I'd put this down as a hospital thing.

Things I didn't like
* The random staff popping in. They popped in CONSTANTLY. It drove me bonkers and no matter how much I told them to knock it off, a different person came in next.
*The testing. Though keep in mind that no matter where you birth, you CAN tell them that your baby does not leave your sight. They waited to do DS's hearing test until I was able to get up and go with them. The lady who did it was very understanding and offered to do it in the room, but I wanted to get up and walk.
*The LC I had at the hospital was horrid. I think it was just her though and not a hospital thing.
*The schedules! UGH! Baby must be fed every 3 hours even if you say you fed baby an hour ago, baby must be changed for y or z every so many hours and you have to write all that crap down or make sure you remember it to tell the nurse.
* I wasn't really able to walk the halls or anything to help get labor going. I had to stay on this one short straight hallway so I "wouldn't get in anyone's way."
*If we didn't have food for DH, DH starved. It kind of sucked. The food was yucky anyway.
*The beds SUCKED..

What I did like-
* During my delivery I had 1 on 1 care with the same nurse through the entire process. She wasn't pleasant, but at least I didn't have a zillion people trapsing through.
* The rooms were semi- pleasant, I had a private room.
* They handed baby to me before anything else happened. They didn't take him until after I was done being stitched up. DH also got to hold him before he was wiped down etc.
* They were respectful of me saying that Jacob was absolutely not to leave my room. No one came in and took my baby or touched my baby without talking to me for a few minutes first, telling me what they were there for and got my okay. You can probably arrange this, you just need to let them know.



I'll have no choice but to go to a hospital this time. I have no idea what to expect either because its a different hospital! Oh joy!

I would ask them about their policies when you do a tour of each place. There are things you can refuse, request etc. Knowledge is power!
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Jacob 03/17/2009
Benjamin 03/18/2011

Last edited by Caelen; October 19th, 2010 at 07:09 PM.
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  #15  
October 19th, 2010, 07:13 PM
Caelen's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh and I also loved the last nurse I had the day we left. She was so wonderful. I don't think it was a hossy vs birth center thing on that one either though. She loaded us up with diapers, the big pads for post partum bleeding. I think she hid out in my room though lol. She would just sit and chit chat with me about my son, her kids, her experiences with breastfeeding (i had trouble with it).
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‎"That which offends you only weakens you. Being offended creates the same destructive energy that offended you in the first place- so transcend your ego and stay in peace."

Stay at home mom to two:
Jacob 03/17/2009
Benjamin 03/18/2011
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  #16  
October 20th, 2010, 05:28 PM
Lucky Mama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caelen View Post
* They were respectful of me saying that Jacob was absolutely not to leave my room. No one came in and took my baby or touched my baby without talking to me for a few minutes first, telling me what they were there for and got my okay. You can probably arrange this, you just need to let them know.
Just wanted to comment that when I delivered in the hospital I FORBADE them to take my baby without my permission and without DH there to be with her. I didn't mind if they had certain tests they needed to do, but I wanted to give the okay first. They took her several times anyway (usually, like I said, when we were grabbing a few moments of sleep - DD was rooming in with us, obviously). It was infuriating to keep asking them not to take my baby only to have her wisked away over and over.
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  #17  
October 21st, 2010, 06:51 AM
Caelen's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky Mama View Post
Just wanted to comment that when I delivered in the hospital I FORBADE them to take my baby without my permission and without DH there to be with her. I didn't mind if they had certain tests they needed to do, but I wanted to give the okay first. They took her several times anyway (usually, like I said, when we were grabbing a few moments of sleep - DD was rooming in with us, obviously). It was infuriating to keep asking them not to take my baby only to have her wisked away over and over.
I'm sorry Its frustrating to not be listened to especially with something so important to you!

I'm a little nervous about this aspect of things this time around because I don't really even know what their deal is with rooming in vs nursery. I've talked to a few moms where they said their hospitals policy is that the baby goes to the nursery every night. I really don't want that.
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‎"That which offends you only weakens you. Being offended creates the same destructive energy that offended you in the first place- so transcend your ego and stay in peace."

Stay at home mom to two:
Jacob 03/17/2009
Benjamin 03/18/2011
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