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my doula is pregnant


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
November 2nd, 2010, 08:27 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am okay with this, but my DH feels kind of weird about it? She found out on Halloween and is due early July - I'm due late april/early May, so she will be quite pregnant at the time of birth. She said in her last pregnancy (her son is 19m old) she was 36w at a birth and "their bellies kept bumping"...which I admit, kind of is weird to me...just because when I was in labor with Brylie, if ANYTHING touched my stomach I wanted to kill whatever it is...I'd like to refrain from killing the doula


how would you feel about this?
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  #2  
November 2nd, 2010, 09:07 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't see why I'd have a problem with it... it might actually make me feel a closer bond with her.
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  #3  
November 3rd, 2010, 06:47 AM
monica8's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't think I'd mind. If I really liked the person, I don't think her being pregnant would change anything.
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  #4  
November 3rd, 2010, 07:30 AM
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i think it might bother me. I'm a little selfish, and want my time to be about me. The belly thing would weird me out. You might at least want a back up now that she's preggo.
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  #5  
November 3rd, 2010, 08:20 AM
BobbityBoo's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My only issue would be if she is tired. If she would be that far along, we all know how hard it is to get around and how you tire easily. I actually talked to a few doulas who said it was really hard to be a doula while pregnant and that they won't do it again. That is their experience, so your doula might have a different idea of it, but if I had a long intense labor I would want my doula to be able to stick it out with me. KWIM?
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  #6  
November 3rd, 2010, 08:43 AM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I do have a backup just in case already, because our doula has 3 kids..so sometimes life happens. She will be in her third trimester, probably about 30w or so? I think? My math is not great But if I'm 15w and she is about 4 now..in 25w yeah, she'd be 29-30w. I personally felt fantastic at that point in my pregnancy (I felt great the whole time with Brylie though) ...she seems totally confident and comfortable that it won't affect her, and she was very sensitive to it might being "weird" for hubby and me. She told me right away - I mean she hasn't even been to the doctor yet, and she is still processing it (her 3 babies are IVF babes, and this is a spontaneous pregnancy when they thought they were done)...and I am not really that uncomfortable with it...just weirded out about the idea of my belly rubbing someone elses..and I'm sure if I tell her that I prefer nothing touches my stomach when I am in labor she will be really receptive...I reallllly like her, and I feel badly for sounding selfish about this
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  #7  
November 3rd, 2010, 08:58 AM
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I'd be okay with it. It sounds like 30 vs. 36 weeks she wouldn't be nearly as big, so the whole "belly bumping" thing may not be an issue. It sounds like she's done it before while pregnant, so I wouldn't really worry about her not being "up to it." And as long as you have a backup...
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  #8  
November 3rd, 2010, 09:27 AM
monica8's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Haha, I bet if you told her to watch out for your belly she would. I'm getting a very funny visual about pregnant women rubbing bellies now. I don't think I'd like it!
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  #9  
November 3rd, 2010, 09:53 AM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yeah, I really think it won't be a problem. Sam is just more concerned in the manly kind of way that he would be concerned about any pregnant woman I think, I don't think he wants to change doulas or anything, which is what I was really worried about because I LOVE her. He hasn't met her yet, but they are meeting on Monday after my 16w appt.
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  #10  
November 4th, 2010, 08:50 AM
GranolaMamaOf3's Avatar ~Heather~
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lunarmagic View Post
I don't see why I'd have a problem with it... it might actually make me feel a closer bond with her.
Ditto. I think it could be cool!
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  #11  
November 4th, 2010, 10:11 AM
Caelen's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't think I'd mind really. When it comes time I would just tell her that you're pretty sensitive to being touched, especially your belly. I have to remind even my husband of that sometimes. Given the fact that she's been there and done that, hopefully she'll be sensitive to your needs in that respect.
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  #12  
November 4th, 2010, 01:11 PM
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I'd be happy about it One of my Midwives had her baby a week before I did . I was only sad because she couldn't be there for my birth. It was fun being pregnant together though - and comparing bellies and how we felt. It was her first pregnancy after a LONG time trying and my first successful one. She had been there for me through both of my miscarriages- it was super happy for us to both be doing well together!
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  #13  
November 4th, 2010, 01:55 PM
Jule'sMomInOR's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My only concern would be that you want this to be all about YOU and YOUR comfort, not to be thinking "Oh my poor pregnant doula has been up and on her feet all night," KWIM? Otoh, if she wants to do it she knows what she's signing up for.
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