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would it matter to you


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
November 14th, 2010, 10:26 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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if you adopted a baby, how they were born?


sam and i have dappled in adoption a few times (nothing serious, just discussions) and he said it would bother him if we had, say 4 kids, and they were all natural birthed-breastfed babes, and then we adopted a baby and it ended up being a c-section-formula fed baby..which surprised me, because I'd never thought about it!

so i was just wondering how you felt about it
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  #2  
November 15th, 2010, 12:12 AM
Kelllilee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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not sure it would matter overall. However, if we were in a situation of adopting the baby at birth, I'd like to have the option of breastfeeding the baby and would hope the mom had a very healthy/natural birth if possible. Tricky situation
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  #3  
November 15th, 2010, 06:10 AM
Calendula's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Breastfeeding I would absolutely want to try for.

NCB is trickier- my baby, but not my body. Assuming the birth mom and I were in contact beforehand, I would bring up my preferences but try to accept whatever choice she made. If the baby was already here, I would be at peace with that ship having already sailed.
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  #4  
November 15th, 2010, 06:24 AM
therevslady's Avatar Built for Birth
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It would not matter at all. If you think about the back grounds of many children up for adoption, the way they were birthed and the food they ate is the least of their issues. And just because a mother had a natural delivery, it does not guarantee that she did not have other addictions during her pregnancy.

If I adopted, it would be to offer a happy healthy and loving home. I would do my best from the moment they moved in with me. If that included breastfeeding them, then I would do that.
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  #5  
November 15th, 2010, 06:46 AM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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No. DH and I have discussed adopting children in the future. If it's a baby I'd like to breastfeed it, but we'd most likely adopt a toddler.
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  #6  
November 15th, 2010, 06:57 AM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't think it would bother me. If it was a baby and I wasn't lactating, I would try to induce lactation...but I would feel badly about giving it formula, since (assuming all goes well) None of my other kids had formula, ya know? But it wouldn't hinder my relationship or anything, I don't think.

The birth...that's a little easier...because like someone else said, my baby but not my body. I think the woman giving the child up for adoption is making enough sacrifices, and already giving her child a better chance at life...so I would just support her birth plan the best I could.

It's just funny to me what my ultra-sensitive husband comes up with sometimes...things I would never even think of!
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  #7  
November 15th, 2010, 07:04 AM
greeneyes's Avatar <-- Just do it.
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It wouldn't matter to me at all. As far as breastfeeding, if I were somehow already lactating then I would absolutely nurse my adopted baby as well. If I wasn't lactating, I wouldn't attempt to induce lactation. I've been through trying to relactate and it was one of the hardest, most stressful times of my life and not something I wish to ever go through again.
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  #8  
November 15th, 2010, 07:12 AM
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It wouldn't matter at all, the feeding or the way they're born.
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  #9  
November 15th, 2010, 07:32 AM
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We have talked about adopting. DH was adopted. Without getting into a whole other discussion he would only do a closed adoption so we wouldn't know how the child was born or at least we wouldn't have any say prior. But it wouldn't bother me in terms of then raising the baby. I think it was traumatic somehow I would feel bad for all involved including the mom.
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  #10  
November 15th, 2010, 09:03 AM
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It would not matter to me at all.
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  #11  
November 15th, 2010, 09:56 AM
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My stepmother adopted my brother and I when she married my father. I'm sure the farthest thing from her mind was how we came into this world, it was all about the fact that we WERE here, and she loved us dearly.

If I were giving my baby up for adoption and a potential adoptive parent were in contact with me and tried to dictate my birth plan, I'd tell them to screw off. "What a control freak and weirdo!", I'd think. I'd find someone else to take my child who would love them unconditionally, no matter how they came into this world. Would you dare ask a mother to have a c-section RATHER than a natural birth, because that was YOUR preference? Sounds pretty psycho, YKWIM?
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  #12  
November 15th, 2010, 10:43 AM
Caelen's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Nope. wouldn't matter. Its the mom's decision, but not the baby's fault. Why should the baby suffer not having a loving home because of someone else's choices?


Not trying to be patronizing, its just something I feel strongly about. I myself was adopted at birth and that influences a lot of my thoughts about adoption. We do plan to adopt and if I'm in contact with mom, I may bring up my preferences, but will not push her into something she doesn't want. No matter what, that baby is still more important to me than how it came to be here.

[QUOTE=NavyWifey;22146091]My stepmother adopted my brother and I when she married my father. I'm sure the farthest thing from her mind was how we came into this world, it was all about the fact that we WERE here, and she loved us dearly.

If I were giving my baby up for adoption and a potential adoptive parent were in contact with me and tried to dictate my birth plan, I'd tell them to screw off. "What a control freak and weirdo!", I'd think. I'd find someone else to take my child who would love them unconditionally, no matter how they came into this world. Would you dare ask a mother to have a c-section RATHER than a natural birth, because that was YOUR preference? Sounds pretty psycho, YKWIM?[/QUOTE]

Ditto. I would bring up things like NCB if the relationship was there where I could, but wouldn't dare judge mom if she had an epidural or something like that though.I wouldn't bring it up at all if I knew it would weird her out. Ultimately she's gotta get through it how she can. As long as baby is healthy, what's it matter?
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  #13  
November 15th, 2010, 12:51 PM
Isaeph's Avatar Jennifer the Momma
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~~Que~~ View Post
It would not matter at all. If you think about the back grounds of many children up for adoption, the way they were birthed and the food they ate is the least of their issues. And just because a mother had a natural delivery, it does not guarantee that she did not have other addictions during her pregnancy.

If I adopted, it would be to offer a happy healthy and loving home. I would do my best from the moment they moved in with me. If that included breastfeeding them, then I would do that.
I'd bf and love on them as much as my other kids, but yeah, pretty much above.
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  #14  
November 15th, 2010, 05:13 PM
monica8's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't think I'd mind. In the long run, I think being adopted into a stable family is much more important.

I'm not sure I'd be comfortable breastfeeding a baby that I didn't give birth to, but I might feel differently in the situation, since it would still be my son or daughter.
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