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Can a large group of natural birthers "ruin" a ddc?


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #21  
November 19th, 2010, 08:29 AM
noworries
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I have to say that I am very lucky that in my daughter's playroom everyone is very respectful with their opinions even though we have some very differing personalities there. We have some very traditional parents and some very AP/natural parents and we all get along very well despite that. There are several ladies from this board that are in that PR as well.
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  #22  
November 19th, 2010, 10:38 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Northern VA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jule'sMomInOR View Post
I don't remember enough details to find it, but the thread was something about scheduled inductions and c-sections, probably around May or early June. Someone said she was going to be induced at 38 weeks because it would be too difficult for her to care for her two older children at 39+ weeks pregnant. I just said that being induced increases your chances for a c/s and how would she be able to care of the older kids plus a newborn after a c/s? Then everyone took it to mean I said they couldn't take care of their kids effectively after a c/s, and one of the hosts (who happened to be having a scheduled c/s) PMed me with a warning. Holly got one too for saying something similar.
Ahhh, ok, I remember that, I just didn't know you got in trouble over it.

As far as Que's original question, I think the lack of closeness is more due to a lack of participation than AP/traditional parenting divides. The hosts haven't done much to foster a board where we can all get to know each other. No games, no contests, etc. I mean, I put together the PR banner. Hmmm, maybe I'll put my name in to be a new host. I dunno though, I used to win the "Snarky Award" at work pretty frequently, so that might be a bad idea. There are plenty of us from our PR in here... thoughts?
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  #23  
November 19th, 2010, 12:32 PM
Jule'sMomInOR's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 4,862
Quote:
Originally Posted by AmandaEliz View Post
Ahhh, ok, I remember that, I just didn't know you got in trouble over it.

As far as Que's original question, I think the lack of closeness is more due to a lack of participation than AP/traditional parenting divides. The hosts haven't done much to foster a board where we can all get to know each other. No games, no contests, etc. I mean, I put together the PR banner. Hmmm, maybe I'll put my name in to be a new host. I dunno though, I used to win the "Snarky Award" at work pretty frequently, so that might be a bad idea. There are plenty of us from our PR in here... thoughts?
I think it would be great if you hosted our PR!
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  #24  
November 19th, 2010, 12:39 PM
MaggieLizer's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmandaEliz View Post
Ahhh, ok, I remember that, I just didn't know you got in trouble over it.

As far as Que's original question, I think the lack of closeness is more due to a lack of participation than AP/traditional parenting divides. The hosts haven't done much to foster a board where we can all get to know each other. No games, no contests, etc. I mean, I put together the PR banner. Hmmm, maybe I'll put my name in to be a new host. I dunno though, I used to win the "Snarky Award" at work pretty frequently, so that might be a bad idea. There are plenty of us from our PR in here... thoughts?
I can think of several of us that I think would make good hosts and you're definitely one of them! I've thought about doing it, but I'm not sure about the time commitment right now. I think I'm probably the farthest you can get from snarky, though, lol!
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  #25  
November 19th, 2010, 12:46 PM
Caelen's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Hurley, WI
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No. I think what ruins it is too many people reading way too much into online posts. You just have to take the majority of what you read online, even from other people, with a grain of salt.

We have a mix of everything in the DDC I'm in and its nice. We've had a few tense moments, but bounce back from it pretty well. The PR that I'm in for DS's birth year is awesome too, I don't think I've ever really seen a tense moment there.

I used to post on the WebMD trimester boards before the format was changed and oh man.. I can just see a total blowout happening there upon the mention of homebirth, delayed cord cutting etc.. Some of those ladies were genuinely ridiculous. I remember one woman who posted how shocked she was how many people posting were on WIC and how much spare time those people seemed to have. That was a messy one.
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  #26  
November 22nd, 2010, 05:42 AM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: south eastern Mass
Posts: 13,088
personally, I have been on both ends of the spectrum. With Cadie's DDC, we were 75% first time moms, so we were VERY active, and totally obsessed with every single detail. It might have been more than 75%. We all piled into chat every Friday night, and we became very tight. VERY. Once we had our babies, we were all able to really respect each other and our choices and whatnot, because we really respected each other, and we had a strong connection already.

This past time, I never felt a connection with our DDC. I wqasn't sure if others felt the same or not, but I thought it had a lot to do with the fact that it was like 60% (not sure exactly the amount) of established moms, with a small amount of first timers. None of us had time to obsess about every detail, and let's face it, it's not as "OMG" as the first time. We were all too tired and busy to be in chat every week and all that. Also, I sort of get the feeling that the moms we have are less willing to try new things or see other people's views. Our very own c0-host said "co-sleeping is not safe" and when I replied saying otherwise and stating the difference between people who co-sleep to be close to their children and the people who pull their kids in with them out of desperation in the middle of the night (or people who are in co-sleeping situations because there are way too many people living in one house) she still was like "whatever, that is how I feel" and that was that.

I don't know any specifics as of late, I check in sooooo infrequently there I am beyond disconnected. I have here and Cadie's playroom, although my ability to be on JM in general is very slim lately.
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  #27  
November 22nd, 2010, 08:40 AM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 25,860
I'm in the PR with Carrie and Cheryl for our older girls. I have to agree that our personalities meshed well despite some differing viewpoints. Everyone has always been respectful and treated the differing view as a learning experience.

For my youngest's PR, everyone is still respectful but I find that the discussions have less to do with parenting strategies or anything that could lead to drama.
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  #28  
November 29th, 2010, 11:23 AM
Hollybear's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jule'sMomInOR View Post
Well, if that's true I guess I'm ruining our PR along with you.

I think I've been pretty good about not saying anything when someone mentions letting her baby CIO, despite that fact that it makes me feel sick, and I barely said anything when I read about moms starting their babies on solids at 3 months. Still, I wonder if I'm being referred to when they talk about people making insensitive comments. I was almost banned from our DDC over a discussion on NCB several months ago.
I got 3 warnings, lol

Quote:
Originally Posted by AmandaEliz View Post
Ahhh, ok, I remember that, I just didn't know you got in trouble over it.

As far as Que's original question, I think the lack of closeness is more due to a lack of participation than AP/traditional parenting divides. The hosts haven't done much to foster a board where we can all get to know each other. No games, no contests, etc. I mean, I put together the PR banner. Hmmm, maybe I'll put my name in to be a new host. I dunno though, I used to win the "Snarky Award" at work pretty frequently, so that might be a bad idea. There are plenty of us from our PR in here... thoughts?
I would love for you to be a co-host!
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