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Emily's arrival


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
November 22nd, 2010, 08:12 PM
MamaMandy's Avatar is it Spring yet??
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Maine
Posts: 383
I had a huge birth story written, took me all day to do & I lost it grrr. So, short story for now:
Emily was born 11/16/10, 7lbs 12oz 20 inches long, dark hair and the sweetest ears ever. Beautiful, beautiful girl. Good thing she';s cute, she only sleeps 10 minutes here or there for me & that's on the breast-which she has been fighting. Stumbling through exhaustion, breastfeeding for the first time - yay my milk came in! Her birth was tough; traumatic honestly, and I am struggling to deal. Labored for 18 hours, hard hard contrax w/out a break, went for the epi but after anhour of needle sticks without success said the he ll with it, transition labor for 3 freakin hours of crazy pain, got to 8cm then it hit the fan, her heart rate was dropping to the low 70's, thick meconium, not coming down right and got to true emergency point so I had to have an emergency c-section. She is healthy, thank god, it didn't have any long term affects, but I am not doing so well with the double labor/c-s recovery & the emotional parts. I really have to sleepm, she is & I need to but I wanted to check in & sure am hoping you wise ladies have some words to get my head on straight with all this. At least I have a beautiful healthy baby girl, however she got here!
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Raising my kids with boundaries - NOT battle lines.

Children are not little adults, but they ARE people too!

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AP is not alternative to those who see no other choice

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  #2  
November 23rd, 2010, 04:35 AM
MaggieLizer's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Loo-uh-vull, KY
Posts: 5,656
Congratulations on you baby girl and HUGE HUGS to you, Mama!!! How wonderful that Emily is healthy. You are so strong to have gone through all that!

Surely it is difficult to deal with what happened but I think a little time will help you start to heal. You are acknowledging your feelings and that is good and I think as you continue to bond more with your baby and nourish her and help her grow some of the pain will slowly subside a little. Try to focus on the positives right now and definitely try to get some rest - I know it's hard. Just try to take care of yourself and let others take care of you physically and emotionally.
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  #3  
November 24th, 2010, 07:29 PM
MamaMandy's Avatar is it Spring yet??
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Maine
Posts: 383
Thank you for your encouragement & kindness. It's tough trying to deal with a birth about as far from my core beliefs as possible, and the affect my physical & emotional/mental recovery is having on my girls. Welcoming a new family member into the home is when Mom's needed on her game the most, and I can still barely move. I just feel so sad for my 6 year old, and the impact a broken mom & new demanding, not breastfeeding well baby sister is having on her world. I am trying to reach for and hold onto the least little glimmer of positives right now. I really wanted a natural childbirth and tried so hard for the VBAC. I know in the end there really was no choice, it was literally a life or death situation for Emily, but still... I think part of it is how unprepared for the reality of an emerg. c/s I was. I mean, I knew it was a possibility, but not what it entailed and how terrifying it all would be for a person who doesn't like medical intervention to have so many things done so quickly and to not have any control over it. They don't wait for contrax to ease & I was in transition so it really, really hurt, if I couldn't move my body they forced me into position, they pressed on my uterus & stomach to prep & shave, forced an oxygen mask on that I kept choking on while trying to deep breathe thru the pain & I was strapped down so I couldn't get it off or move my body, they wouldn't wait til I was out to insert the catheter & since I was epi-free it was general anesthesia & the post op w/out a block is pure agony. It almost makes me wish I had just scheduled a c/s. I know you ladies understand that yes a healthy baby is the ultimate, but that doesn't mean we don't grieve a birth gone wrong and that a "healthy birth" is part of a healthy baby and mom. I will get there, I know I will, but why does it have to be this hard???
__________________
Raising my kids with boundaries - NOT battle lines.

Children are not little adults, but they ARE people too!

There's a reason they are called dependents...

AP is not alternative to those who see no other choice

http://helpguide.org/mental/parentin...t_disorder.htm



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  #4  
November 25th, 2010, 05:49 PM
wonderfullymade's Avatar Doula & MW Apprentice
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Galveston, TX
Posts: 1,844
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so many congrats to you!!! Lovely strong mama that you are!

I understand grieving, you have every right to, and so so so many hugs to you as you are recovering! know that you gave a great gift of labor to your sweet little one, those contractions were great for her lungs and her circulation (well, except the last ones )

I totally wish I could climb thru the computer, come give you a great postpartum massage, massage little Emily, and tuck you both in with a warm bowl of homemade vegan sweet potato chili.
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