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Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
January 5th, 2011, 08:44 AM
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What are some things people say about NCB that bug you?
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  #2  
January 5th, 2011, 09:13 AM
NavyWifey's Avatar Super Mommy
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My mother in law thinks that having an epidural/IV/episiotomy/forceps/whatever is perfectly natural, as long as you don't have a c-section. Ummm... nope! Sorry, just because Baby came out of your bajingo doesn't mean you had a natural birth.

"You're not getting any medals for it, just get the drugs." Why would I want a medal? That's just more clutter. All I want is the healthiest birth possible with the least amount of interventions. You don't get a medal for an epidural, either!

"Oh, you're so brave!" No, I'm not. True bravery is trusting someone ELSE enough to let them stab you in your spine with a needle. It is not brave to assume that my body can have a baby.
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  #3  
January 5th, 2011, 09:53 AM
FusionGirl's Avatar Formerly TTC#1inNC
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That they make pain meds so I might as well take them. Also that since I had my spine fused - which is not natural - then why do I want to go natural with childbirth? Well I would rather my baby come into this world drug free, when it is just me fine but I don't feel a brand new human life needs to start medicated unless there is a reason for it and just because they make pain meds is not reason enough for me.

Other people have rolled thier eyes and said "yea...good luck with that"
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  #4  
January 5th, 2011, 10:02 AM
Tiff802's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I hated, with my last pregnancy, how when people found out I was going to birth naturally, they would say, "well, good luck with that!" Like it wasn't going to happen. I don't really get too many comments now, since this will be my second NCB.


Quote:
Originally Posted by NavyWifey View Post
"Oh, you're so brave!" No, I'm not. True bravery is trusting someone ELSE enough to let them stab you in your spine with a needle. It is not brave to assume that my body can have a baby.
Love that!
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  #5  
January 5th, 2011, 10:10 AM
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Quote:
"You're not getting any medals for it, just get the drugs." Why would I want a medal? That's just more clutter. All I want is the healthiest birth possible with the least amount of interventions. You don't get a medal for an epidural, either!
My favorite I just read a question in my DDC about why women choose not to have epi except to be "noble" Implying we do it just for bragging rights just bugs me. I get more crap about having a NCB than I get to brag about it.

Quote:
"Oh, you're so brave!" No, I'm not. True bravery is trusting someone ELSE enough to let them stab you in your spine with a needle. It is not brave to assume that my body can have a baby.
lol, great reply!
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  #6  
January 5th, 2011, 10:32 AM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
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I find the words are often not the offending part...it is how they say it.

Like above "Good luck with that." And you know the tone. I have gotten it (thankfully afterward) with that eye roll. I do think that lots of people think people do NCB for bragging rights. I had to explain it to a close friend why I ultimately decided to not get the epi and why my future children will be NCB. Because she just thought I wanted to "show her up" (her words, not mine!)

People, as a whole, don't think for themselves, but rather go with "pack logic." (Aka, she got an epidural, her baby is fine, she is fine...me too! Sign me up!) It does make it harder to get your point across when a lot of people are pack minded.
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  #7  
January 5th, 2011, 11:11 AM
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Well, If I didn't have _____ my baby or I would have DIED.



Just don't plan too much, you don't know what will happen.

Are you sure you can handle the pain?
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  #8  
January 5th, 2011, 11:51 AM
Calendula's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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One of the worst is "WHY?"

Not a curious, what is your reasoning why, but the why you get that says "That is incomprehensibly stupid, try to justify it if you want but I'm just going to rebut any supporting arguments with a statement about how great the epidural is."

I also didn't like the "good luck with that" and "we'll see" type statements. The worst was the people who told me "just wait until you've actually felt a contraction, you'll change your mind."

I'm hoping if I'm able to get pg again, it'll be a little less because now I can say I HAVE felt a contraction, and I did have 'good luck' with that, but thanks for your interest nonetheless .
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  #9  
January 5th, 2011, 11:59 AM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
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My MIL said "Well we'll just see if you ask for drugs when labor starts." That was pretty annoying being second guessed automatically.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NavyWifey View Post
My mother in law thinks that having an epidural/IV/episiotomy/forceps/whatever is perfectly natural, as long as you don't have a c-section. Ummm... nope! Sorry, just because Baby came out of your bajingo doesn't mean you had a natural birth.
Yeah I had a complete stranger say that they weren't sure they could handle a natural birth and just opt for the c-section. I corrected her and said that NCB means no drugs not just vaginal delivery. She was like "Oh, yeah I know I couldn't do that."


What is with the medal comments? I don't push out a baby to get a medal. My baby and the confidence I have in my body is my trophy.
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  #10  
January 5th, 2011, 12:03 PM
Earthy.Mama's Avatar .*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.
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"You don't have anything to prove to anyone"
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  #11  
January 5th, 2011, 12:17 PM
Caelen's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I haven't gotten much this time around. Mostly because its family around me and they know I'm determined enough to do what I want.

Last time I got everything ranging from "that's stupid" "why" "we'll see about that." "just get the drugs honey." First off, pet names are out, don't call me one. Second, why does someone else feel the need to dictate what I do??? As much as I'm not a fan of epidurals, I realize its for my own reasons and that not everyone feels the same. I'm not running around discouraging people from doing birth their way in terms of medications, location etc.

Like I've said before, the first thing my boss said to me when she saw me after the birth "So did you get the epidural?? Isn't it awesome??" "No, I didn't." "Well that's just stupid, all that pain for nothing." Last time I checked I got a lucid healthy baby outta the deal.
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  #12  
January 5th, 2011, 12:23 PM
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Another comment that bugs me "I had an epidural and my birth was so peaceful and calm" or "I didn't have time to get an epi and I was traumatized, so I'll be going to the hospital as soon as I feel a contraction next time so I can get one".

If you're not prepared for a NCB, you're probably going to fight the pain, but I highly doubt there was anything "traumatic" about that. I also don't like when others imply a natural birth isn't peaceful or calm because a woman can feel the contractions. Even if I'm screaming like a banchee through contractions and pushing, it's worth it to feel my body and be able to work with it than to just sit back and be a bystander at my own birth.
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  #13  
January 5th, 2011, 12:53 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I've never gotten anything from someone in person, but online I get a lot.

"doesn't make you better than anyone" - Obviously

"they make pain meds for a reason" - Childbirth is painful for a reason

"you're brave" - If you say so
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  #14  
January 5th, 2011, 12:59 PM
Caelen's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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On the more positive side of NCB comments, I had a co-worker who never had time with any of her 3 kids to get epidurals. They all came too fast. She was the only one who talked to me about it and said "Yeah, it hurts. Its not that bad though. You can do it."

Thought I'd throw something positive in for a change
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  #15  
January 5th, 2011, 03:08 PM
Kelllilee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I didn't really get a lot of comments. More questions like "why". I got more comments in regards to homebirth...

a lot of "wow, you're brave"
a few "I would be too scared to do that, what if something happens?" - which gave me the opportunity to educate
my sister "I just don't understand why you wouldn't WANT to be in the hospital" and later on told my SIL "Don't let Kelli talk you into a homebirth" as if it was the worst thing in the world.
and recently I got told I chose a homebirth because "it's a noble cause"


I did get a lot of "good for you" comments about NCB though!
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  #16  
January 5th, 2011, 04:40 PM
Caelen's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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How is homebirth "noble?" I don't get that logic. If you were doing something for recognition wouldn't you want to be out in the open for all to see? lol
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  #17  
January 5th, 2011, 04:42 PM
soImarriedAnerd's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My favs are from my family "well why on earth would you need meds" or " I don't understand the point of going to the hospital, its not like your sick"
then you have the other side.... "your going to kill your child" or "isn't that illegal" (homebirth reference) And the good old... "well see", "you don't get a medal"..... in which I think i SHOULD! LOL I did hypnobabies...thats about 2-3 hrs of everyday for months.....I practiced, I prepared and then I "ran my race" and finished.... I want the medal for my hardwork
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  #18  
January 5th, 2011, 04:52 PM
JulieMc's Avatar Loving my babies. :)
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"Good luck with that"
"You won't make it."
"You'll get the epi."
"Why go through pain when you don't have to?"
"You don't get a medal."
"I got an epi and it was awesome!"

UGH!! Pretty much all of the things you all already mentioned.
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  #19  
January 5th, 2011, 05:48 PM
Kelllilee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caelen View Post
How is homebirth "noble?" I don't get that logic. If you were doing something for recognition wouldn't you want to be out in the open for all to see? lol
exactly! And to pair it with "cause" indicates that it's something I'm out there trying to get everyone to do! Makes no sense!
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  #20  
January 5th, 2011, 06:40 PM
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I don't get alot of comments now since I've done it twice but I hear that I'm crazy, or that I won't last without an epi (these are people that didn't know I had did it once already)

mostly I get looks when I talk about it. you know the "are you freaking off your meds" look... LOL
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