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I had lots of time to digest everything from the appt on Friday and to soak in what the hospital nurses had to say, and I"m feeling better about this.
I'm still not 100% okay with it being whoever is on call showing up (more so because I'm not 100% okay with a man delivering me, weird hang up of mine) but I trust now that I'll get, for the most part, the labor and delivery that I want.
Still the 2 person in the room rule, but that's a space issue (holy tiny rooms!!) but they said I can be up and around, and would actually encourage me to be, so I can have more then 2 there, but just the delivery limited to 2 in the room. the rest can be in the family room waiting and come in or I can have baby go out to them after.
The laboring in tub, the doc can say yes it's okay, and even if they say no, if I do it, they can not pysically stop me, they'd just have to note it in my chart that I did it against their orders. they are open to alternative pushing positions (squatting is what I mainly asked about and am wanting)
AND they said L and C can be in the hosp while I"m laboring and be around/with me, just not in the room while delivery. and I can have them come in right after, or I can have baby brought out to them.
they encourage rooming in, but if I want baby in nursery at night and jsut brought in to nurse I have that option(I did do that with C, because I was alone then as well, and I jsut felt safer for fear of dropping her getting up and out of the bassinet at night)
so all in all, I am much more at ease with continuing there.