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Can I do it alone?


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
July 4th, 2006, 02:06 AM
koakoba's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Michigan
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Hello. I'm due in October, and very interested in natural childbirth.

I don't believe the father is going to be around, or willing to learn any support methods. I really want to do natural childbirth. Can I do it alone? I have next to no options for people to bring with me for support. The one girlfriend I was going to bring will be on her honeymoon when I have my baby.

What would some good reading material be? I am currently reading up on the bradley method, but without a support person, I don't know how well that will work for me.

I am a strong willed person with a high pain tolerance, and great focus ability. But everything I read says "tell your coach...." Um, I'm not going to have one.

Do you ladies have any suggestions for me?

As I am probably going to end up single here pretty soon, money is a big issue, otherwise I'd hire a doula.
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  #2  
July 4th, 2006, 04:04 AM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
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Many doulas will work with you on a sliding scale and sometimes will do the work for free, particularly if they are "newer" doulas and are working on getting credentialled. While you can do it alone, it would be much better to have someone with you as your helper and advocate.
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  #3  
July 4th, 2006, 05:15 AM
wonderfullymade's Avatar Doula & MW Apprentice
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Hey Koa - have I been missing something on the DDC in O board? What do you mean single soon?!?!

Where in Michigan are you located? I have some contacts on my end (GR) that may be able to help out. I am due around then too, so ME helping is out of the question - but it doesn't mean I can't find someone for you!

Yes, you can do it alone, but having a support person is so beneficial.
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  #4  
July 4th, 2006, 02:11 PM
crunchymama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I would try and find a doula. Are you using a midwife or a ob? My midwife was amazing and I wouldn't have needed a doula even if I was alone.
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  #5  
July 4th, 2006, 11:28 PM
koakoba's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks ladies -
Woderfullymade, I'm right in GR, so I'll probably be taking you up on those refferals!!
I currently have an OB, but have not spoke to her about how supportive the office is of natural childbirth - so that may change. From what I have heard, the hospital I will deliver at is... but I don't know, Wonderful - what do you know about Spectrum?

Anyway, thanks again, I think I'll hang out a bit to get some advise from all of you!
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  #6  
July 5th, 2006, 07:17 AM
wonderfullymade's Avatar Doula & MW Apprentice
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Spectrum is really nice and, depending on what nurse you get, will be very supportive of a natural childbirth.

I have seen/heard better at St. Mary's though. Spectrum is not bad at all though. The main thing with both hospitals is that you are working with hospital policies - which are a drag - and you have to choose your battles wisely.

Which is also why it is important to find out if your female OB is on board (not just 'allowing you') with NCB. Personally, I have yet to find a REALLY pro-NCB female OB in the GR area. I have found 5 male OBs though. I also have great m/ws to refer you to if you want to look into a CNM.

Let me ask about the other Bradley teachers and the DONA ladies I know to see if any can do a pro bono doulaing in Oct. Finally, do you think you can afford a Bradley class? Many of the Bradley teachers are willing to step in as coach when there are no coach's present IF they have you as a student. I can ask around for that as well and let you know. IM me to talk more about that.
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  #7  
July 5th, 2006, 07:41 AM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Ditto what wonderfully made said!

I have taken clients on for free, and I do my fees on a sliding scale anyways. Good luck & let us know what you end up doing!

Lala...
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  #8  
July 6th, 2006, 04:35 AM
koakoba's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I will for sure keep you all updated! I'm sure I'm going to have a load of questions about all of it.

Wonderful - I cannot IM right now, the computer I am currently using at home is the devil - I PM'd you back from the last time, but I would LOVE any info, contacts, help you have to offer. St.Mary's is not an option for me, they delt with me when I had my loss, and lets just say I will NEVER go back. I know they are good, but I was scared.
The OB office I go to is MMPC in Standale, heard any good or bad about them?
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  #9  
July 6th, 2006, 04:42 AM
wonderfullymade's Avatar Doula & MW Apprentice
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I have not heard anything either way from MMPC in Standale. I DO recommend, though, asking your OB asap about their thoughts on NCB. The earlier the better. If they don't sound encouraging and supportive, I would switch OBs... again, that is just what I would do.

I DO recommend Dr. V at WMOB-Gyn in GR. He was mine with the twins and was GREAT!!! He practices at Spectrum.

I talked to the other Bradley teachers in the area (have not gotten to the DONA ladies yet) and two have said they can offer support but cannot guarantee they can be there. One has offered support (she will also be with me at mine ) and says if you need her to let her know. If you want, we can talk about a reduced class fee if you want to take classes with me - otherwise the above mentioned teacher said she would have to charge full price for her class. I can see if she will let me teach you and she doula you. BTW, she is also training right now to be a home-birth CPM (midwife). Please just let me know how I can help.
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  #10  
July 6th, 2006, 05:07 AM
NaynayPie's Avatar Super Mommy
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Hi Koakoba,

I'm in a hurry so I didn't read the other replies. I think that if a mother is properly educated about how her body works during birth so that she isn't scared by every single change in her body, and she has mentally prepared herself for giving birth then she would probably be able to handle most situations by herself. I paid $400 (maybe $500?) for a Doula, and I honestly don't think she was any help to me at all. But that was me, and my situation. Studies do show that doulas help lower risks such as unnecessary cesarean, but I can't remember if that study applies to the average woman who knows nothing about how the body gives birth and got a doula, or a well-educated woman who knows to walk, use all-fours, labor pool, birthing ball, etc..

Some books I liked are A Good Birth, A Safe Birth because it goes over reasons why having a non-medicated birth is truly safest for the vast majority of moms and babies. The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth for the same reason and books by the midwife Ina May Gaskins. Her books are almost unbelievably inspiring, and she has some really good, really simple thoughts and ideas that, I thought, help ease labor pain quite a bit. I should mention that I'm one of those people who thinks that most of labor pain comes from the mom being tense and anxious, so I think relaxation is one of the principle ways to deal with pain.

~Nay
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