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  #21  
November 30th, 2011, 07:59 PM
Mom.to.PinknBlue's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ProudPregnancy View Post
I'm right there with those of you that mentioned women not educating themselves! Although my BIGGEST pet peeve is women not eating a great diet. (also along the longs of crappy/non education I suppose)

I think what it REALLY comes down to is our culture. Women are NOT intended to educate themselves within this system, and it takes alot of self-motivation to move towards TRULY healthy lifestytles in so called 'advanced' society. It's all sooo ironic! BTW, just another personal observation, people who go to public school are much more prone to beleiveing whatever they are told, and just 'going with' what the docs/hospitals have to say. They can't think for themselves! (This coming from a homeschooled woman, that refuses to buy 95% of the marketed 'stuff' most everyone else I know has in their home)
Ok ok ok, I'm ranting now... My real pet peeve is our culture darn it!
Where are you from? I am pretty sure most women can think for themselves and make their own decisions. Even just reading a pregnancy book, that is some research. While others go into more depth.

As for the great diet.... When I was pregnant with my daughter I was on the see food diet. I saw food and I ate it. Because I puked my entire pregnancy and ended up with a central line and IV Fluids at home. And I had to try my best to gain weight. So I ate everything in hopes it would stay down.

You really need to stop being so judgmental. There are reasons people do things, and yes you are entitled to your opinion but you don't need to smack down and belittle people. And everyone's culture is different. You can not throw every single person into the same culture. My FIL's culture is way different then my MIL's. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. And until you can see that, you may have a hard time at JM.
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  #22  
November 30th, 2011, 08:03 PM
Sk8ermaiden's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ProudPregnancy View Post
BTW, just another personal observation, people who go to public school are much more prone to beleiveing whatever they are told, and just 'going with' what the docs/hospitals have to say. They can't think for themselves!
Wow, you are not on JM to make friends are you?
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  #23  
December 1st, 2011, 01:45 AM
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As for the origional post asking what our 'pet peeves' are. I think it's kind of pointless to discuss a point like that without also looking and admitting to the cause(s). Otherwise you are just complaining and not actually trying to create change.

My pet peeve is women who DONT educate themselves (It's pretty apparent the vast majority of you DO that, otherwise you wouldnt be here)

I don't think it's all that far off to claim that our deteriorating educational system in this country is partly to blame. So much of our culture and socialism is determined through our education as children that you really can't separate the two . Yeah I probably should have found a better way to say that, but I was rushing out the door, and my real life demands more of my creative side.

Also, in reponse to,
" And everyone's culture is different. You can not throw every single person into the same culture. My FIL's culture is way different then my MIL's. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. And until you can see that, you may have a hard time at JM. "

I just wanted to point out that I'm using the standard definition of culture here.
"An integrated pattern of human knowledge, belief, and behavior that depends upon the capacity for symbolic thought and social learning" or
"The set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterizes an institution, organization, or group"

I think what you are referring to is more along the line of 'lifestyles' which varies ENORMOUSLY within a single culture. Like in any organization/social group, you have a single culture, yet many lifestyles.
  #24  
December 1st, 2011, 09:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sk8ermaiden View Post
Wow, you are not on JM to make friends are you?
Couldn't have said it better myself!! I'm not sure I've read a single post where you weren't insulting someone or a group of people. As much as everyone's entitled to their own opinions, you're really looking for trouble when you start making generalized statements that insult a large population of women on this board. It's no wonder you had so much trouble in the April DDC, as you mentioned in your other post.
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  #25  
December 1st, 2011, 09:28 AM
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  #26  
December 1st, 2011, 11:02 AM
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All I can say is ugg....I am going to do my best to spell this out clearly for you...but I have gone back and read all the things that you have posted here on JM and feel like others have already tried and failed. I pump and have lots of spare time!

Quote:
I think what it REALLY comes down to is our culture. Women are NOT intended to educate themselves within this system, and it takes alot of self-motivation to move towards TRULY healthy lifestytles in so called 'advanced' society. It's all sooo ironic! BTW, just another personal observation, people who go to public school are much more prone to beleiveing whatever they are told, and just 'going with' what the docs/hospitals have to say. They can't think for themselves! (This coming from a homeschooled woman, that refuses to buy 95% of the marketed 'stuff' most everyone else I know has in their home)
I am public school educated except for 1 semester of 8th grade when I was home schooled. My sisters were homeschooled through high school so I have met a lot of homeschoolers. I can make generalizations about homeschoolers...that many seemed socially awkward and poorly socialized. And you are doing nothing to help my broad generalization. See generalizations suck.

As you continue to read JM you will quickly find out that not all births go as planned and many very "educated" women end up in situations that there is no way that they could have planned for and they certainly didn't just "go with it" they fought kicking and screaming. All of us could name at least one person who planned for every detail of their birth only to have it fall apart at the very end due to a complication. I am sure that everyone of those women are thankful that they had the option to go to a big bad hospital and leave with a beautiful baby but they are also dealing with the emotional "loss" of the birth that they desired. My birth was med free (no IV fluids, intermittent monitoring, up to transition I walked and sat up in a rocker then I decided to lay down etc...according to the books I did everything right) yet somehow my son's cord got wrapped around his neck so tight they couldn't even get clamps on it to cut it, because of the stress he pooped then aspirated the meconium. He was born not breathing and got a 0 on his apgar for respirations. He was then intubated where they removed 12 cc's of meconium from his lungs. Because his breathing was so bad I didn't get to see or hold him for an hour, obviously not in my birth plan. Night 2 was spent in the NICU again not in my birth plan. The intubation led to oral motor issues which has meant that I can barely breastfeed. Again, obviously not in my birth plan. See the the best laid plans don't always pan out. And my issues are nothing compared to other women on this board.
When you start questioning our education based on how we birth you will end up with some very mad women.
Now, that I have seen your style and have read more into your thread about Ina May and natural birth only being one occurring outside a hospital I wonder if you started that only to cause trouble on this board.
I hope that your birth goes perfectly but know that many of us read the Ina May books, watched the business of being born, interviewed providers, practiced a healthy lifestyle and things didn't go exactly as planned. Also know that no 2 births are alike mine started quickly with super long contractions and went fast, others have births that go on for days.
If you want to ask us about how we came to a decision to have a natural birth or you want pointers as to what we did during our natural birth to get through it or you want other advice from women that have done or to connect with others that are planning to do it for the first time and share your fears or anxiety this is the perfect place there are a lot of women that love to share their stories. But if you are hear to start $%^ or spout your educated opinions about how it is done without ever actually doing it (kinda like standing in front of a pool telling everyone how to swim without actually putting a toe in the water) then you aren't going to be very welcome.
  #27  
December 1st, 2011, 01:29 PM
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umm last i checked I went to public school and I educated myself about birth options. My daughter go to public school and they already know so many options about birth and they are only 6 and 5 so I don't think where you go to school really effects the way you choose to give birth or how you will educate yourself. Some women just do not care about other options and will just do what the Dr says and have a what they view as "normal" birth.
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  #28  
December 1st, 2011, 01:35 PM
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" I can make generalizations about homeschoolers...that many seemed socially awkward and poorly socialized. And you are doing nothing to help my broad generalization. See generalizations suck."

No, they don't always suck... Only when people decide to take them personally and internalize something that wasn't aimed at them to begin with. But that kind of goes along the lines of creating your own stress. But I digress... The problem with generalizations in my mind is when people ASSUME information that wasn't included. In no way is there a black and white line between public school and homeschooling. If it came across thatway, I wasn't specific enough. (Just for the record, I've met some religiously homeschooled children who DID seem socially awkward and poorly socialized, but they account for only a small portion of home/unschoolers)

So, just for the record, here are the 'other' types of educational settings other than public and homeschool that could be listed:
- Charter schools
- Private religious schools
- Private experiential schools
- Waldorf schools
- Montessori schools
- Distance learning programs
- 1/2&1/2 programs
- Alternative pulic option schools
- Community Co-operative extension schools
  #29  
December 1st, 2011, 01:42 PM
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And not everyone can afford to send their children to those schools.
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  #30  
December 1st, 2011, 01:49 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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Regardless of how you are educated, your education is what you make of it and how you use it to get more out of it.

You can continue to make blanket statements but most likes in parenting and life are not all or nothing. Having a ncb in a hospital does not make things any less natural than a home birth. I have had 3 different types of births 1 with an epi, 1 unplanned ncb in a hospital, and 1 home birth. Every birth is different and each person is different, making blanket statements is why people think horrible things about women who choose natural childbirth. Its why this whole debate is such a hot topic because people lump everyone together!
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  #31  
December 1st, 2011, 02:14 PM
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Everyone should just take a niiiiice deep breath...............
Ahhhh thats better!!!!
..I'm going to bring us back to the very first sentance of this whole thread. Just for a moment.

"Do you have one thing that you are super activist about regarding birth?"

My first thought was, "Oh boy! Activism...Debate....Constructive Conversation?!?! I'm in!"
Activism without questioning and challenging the very fabric of ones society is no longer activism.
Personally I am a HUGE fan of real activism and I spend alot of my time listening/watching people/programs that represent that. Noam Chomsky, Howard Zinn, Naomi Klein, Gabor Mate', Tavis Smiley, Cornell West, Naomi Wolf to name a few.

Just because I enjoy engaging in that type of conversation doesnt mean it gets twisted into looking down on others, or treating people like they are stupid, uneducated etc.... That is a HUUUUUUUUUUUUGEEEEEEE stretch!

Not sure why some are getting so defensive from the get-go, but I'm truly not here to attack anyone....

Last edited by ProudPregnancy; December 1st, 2011 at 02:25 PM.
  #32  
December 1st, 2011, 02:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ProudPregnancy View Post
Everyone should just take a niiiiice deep breath...............
Ahhhh thats better!!!!
..I'm going to bring us back to the very first sentance of this whole thread. Just for a moment.

"Do you have one thing that you are super activist about regarding birth?"

My first thought was, "Oh boy! Activism...Debate....Constructive Conversation?!?! I'm in!"
Activism without questioning and challenging the very fabric of ones society is no longer activism.
Personally I am a HUGE fan of real activism and I spend alot of my time listening/watching people/programs that represent that. Noam Chomsky, Howard Zinn, Naomi Klein, Gabor Mate', Tavis Smiley, Cornell West, Naomi Wolf to name a few.

Just because I enjoy engaging in that type of conversation doesnt mean it gets twisted into looking down on others, or treating people like they are stupid, uneducated etc.... That is a HUUUUUUUUUUUUGEEEEEEE stretch!

Not sure why some are getting so defensive from the get-go, but I'm truly not here to attack anyone....
In other words - you're just looking to start drama. What I suspected.
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  #33  
December 1st, 2011, 02:50 PM
Sk8ermaiden's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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You walked into this conversation and with practically your first statement, insulted almost everyone on this board. What did you really expect? Anyone with even the slightest grasp of social skills could have told you how that would go over. And please don't pretend you didn't.

This: BTW, just another personal observation, people who go to public school are much more prone to beleiveing whatever they are told, and just 'going with' what the docs/hospitals have to say. Is borderline, and in my experience completely false.

They can't think for themselves! Is where you get in trouble, because "they" refers back to the prior subject: "people who go to public school." You can retract if you want, or try to explain it away, but the simple rules of grammar apply and to say that people are reading into your words or you didn't insult anyone is patently untrue. You did.

I realize this was like a 3rd grade grammar lesson, but I have found people with your posting style tend to go round and round with "I didn't say that" so I thought I'd nip it in the bud.
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Last edited by Sk8ermaiden; December 1st, 2011 at 02:55 PM.
  #34  
December 1st, 2011, 03:03 PM
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"In other words - you're just looking to start drama. What I suspected. "

ughhhh... Really? Do you realize how much positive change has been created through activism of developing ideas.. Abolition, civil rights, womens right, social services. Sometimes having views or ideas that arent popular, doesnt make them wrong.. And to feel dissent towards an institution that is obviously corrupt doesnt mean you feel dissent toward your fellow man...
  #35  
December 1st, 2011, 03:08 PM
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Bwahahahahaha.

I've wasted enough on my time on this subject.
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Mom to Kennedy (2/19/11) and Caleb (8/6/12) and Expecting #3 10/13/14
Life As We Know It
  #36  
December 1st, 2011, 03:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ProudPregnancy View Post
I'm right there with those of you that mentioned women not educating themselves! Although my BIGGEST pet peeve is women not eating a great diet. (also along the longs of crappy/non education I suppose)

I think what it REALLY comes down to is our culture. Women are NOT intended to educate themselves within this system, and it takes alot of self-motivation to move towards TRULY healthy lifestytles in so called 'advanced' society. It's all sooo ironic! BTW, just another personal observation, people who go to public school are much more prone to beleiveing whatever they are told, and just 'going with' what the docs/hospitals have to say. They can't think for themselves! (This coming from a homeschooled woman, that refuses to buy 95% of the marketed 'stuff' most everyone else I know has in their home)
Ok ok ok, I'm ranting now... My real pet peeve is our culture darn it!
My hot button issue is bullies like you who go around belittling and insulting anyone who doesn't do things the way you think they should be done. Bullies like you scare women who may be on the fence about natural birth away because you're condescending and arrogant and uninviting. Bullies like you make people whose first or fifth birth that ended up traumatizing them think the issue was their fault and they didn't do right by their baby. Bullies like you make victims feel Very small and inadequate.


That's not the purpose of this board and if that's all you're going to bring to it then please leave.
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Maverick Jude
December 9, 2013
5:20PM 8lb3oz 20.5"
Hospital water birth
  #37  
December 1st, 2011, 03:20 PM
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Public school doesnt foster independant learning as a rule. Period. Unless someone has developed a 'zest for education' on a self motivated level, they wont be as effected certain populations in this coutry that kind of get 'consumed' into the system. For instance, the inner city schools with a high "highschool to prison pathway."

There is a disproportionate amount of these high risk children that NEVER have the opportunity to learn critical thinking skills... "They" is who I'm referring to... And to deny that these types of neighborhoods/districts exist is impossible.
  #38  
December 1st, 2011, 03:34 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Brain matter on my iPad....I think my head just exploded
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Maverick Jude
December 9, 2013
5:20PM 8lb3oz 20.5"
Hospital water birth
  #39  
December 1st, 2011, 04:25 PM
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Quote:
Brain matter on my iPad....I think my head just exploded
Hahaha that is the funniest thing I have read all day!
  #40  
December 1st, 2011, 06:15 PM
Mom.to.PinknBlue's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ProudPregnancy View Post
"In other words - you're just looking to start drama. What I suspected. "

ughhhh... Really? Do you realize how much positive change has been created through activism of developing ideas.. Abolition, civil rights, womens right, social services. Sometimes having views or ideas that arent popular, doesnt make them wrong.. And to feel dissent towards an institution that is obviously corrupt doesnt mean you feel dissent toward your fellow man...
The thing is your aren't making any positive changes. You are pissing off a whole group of women. And since you are so big on "I" statements according to your posts in your DDC And the PM's I received from you, here are some "I" statements for you.

"I" think you are nothing but a bully.
"I" think you have no intentions to offer support or advice, only to belittle.
"I" think you are full of $4!^.
"I" believe you are a pot stirrer and nothing but a drama queen.
"I" think you use an awful lot of google.
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