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  #41  
December 1st, 2011, 06:51 PM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 25,860
Quote:
Originally Posted by ProudPregnancy View Post
Public school doesnt foster independant learning as a rule. Period. Unless someone has developed a 'zest for education' on a self motivated level, they wont be as effected certain populations in this coutry that kind of get 'consumed' into the system. For instance, the inner city schools with a high "highschool to prison pathway."

There is a disproportionate amount of these high risk children that NEVER have the opportunity to learn critical thinking skills... "They" is who I'm referring to... And to deny that these types of neighborhoods/districts exist is impossible.
I went to elementary school in the middle of public housing with drug needles on the playground and prostitutes by the basketball court. No joke. I did not live in that area of town but that's where my neighborhood was assigned. My parents did their research on the school to ensure I was getting the best education for my learning style. Money was no object for us as far as schooling was concerned. My parents looked into every private school in the city (I lived in the biggest city in the state, so plenty of options) and considered homeschooling since my mom was a SAHM and pretty darn smart herself. They made the decision to keep me in that inner city school because it was more advanced than the private schools and gave me the opportunity to learn valuable social skills that I would have missed at home. Not all homeschoolers have social issues, but I probably would have.

Soooooo... To answer the original question, my hot button issue is respect. That goes for mothers putting down decisions that another woman makes or for doctors not listening to their patients.
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  #42  
December 1st, 2011, 07:05 PM
Sk8ermaiden's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 5,791
In particular, I agree that all you are doing is alienating the people MOST likely to agree with you. If you can't even carry on a concersation with us in a positive way, how on earth do you think you're going to achieve anything with people who DON'T agree? So far you walked into two drastically different groups and managed to immediately alienate both of them. I would take my superior, homeschool-honed critical thinking skills and look for the common denominator. Hint: it is Not that our poor, institutionalized brains can not handle your extreme truthiness.

You are seriously lacking in social skills, understanding social cues, and the ability to effctively communicate with people. Or you're a troll. Haven't decided yet.
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  #43  
December 1st, 2011, 07:48 PM
noworries
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Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sk8ermaiden View Post
In particular, I agree that all you are doing is alienating the people MOST likely to agree with you. If you can't even carry on a concersation with us in a positive way, how on earth do you think you're going to achieve anything with people who DON'T agree? So far you walked into two drastically different groups and managed to immediately alienate both of them. I would take my superior, homeschool-honed critical thinking skills and look for the common denominator. Hint: it is Not that our poor, institutionalized brains can not handle your extreme truthiness.

You are seriously lacking in social skills, understanding social cues, and the ability to effctively communicate with people. Or you're a troll. Haven't decided yet.
Couldn't have said it any better myself.
  #44  
December 1st, 2011, 07:51 PM
Regular
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 51
I'm sorry but I'm not here to ensure my 'likability' as an individual. I don't feel I need anykind of reassurance about my value as a social creature, especially by a bunch of women online that don't know anything about me. I do just fine socially in real life, and just generally never worry about being 'liked by all.'

I don't feel the 'urge to belong' and in NO WAY am I using the internet to create lasting friendships... My motivations for being here are probably different than some of you.

I'm here to discuss challenging subjects that interest me. Period. Regardless of how 'acceptable' my views may seem. I ENJOY good hearty conversations where you don't feel stiffled by over-reactions, assumtions and accusations. I love conversations where when someone doesnt agree, or doesnt understand, THEY ASK. They try to get MORE info, and not make a desicion and stick to it no matter what.
  #45  
December 1st, 2011, 07:54 PM
noworries
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Posts: n/a
I'm all for having those type of discussions too but no one is going to want to have discussions with you when you seem to look down upon them and have an "I'm better than you" attitude.
  #46  
December 1st, 2011, 07:55 PM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SW FL
Posts: 8,785
I am totally lurking, but wow. You just keep digging.

As a NCB believer, I am appalled at your statements.

When I was pregnant with DS, I was so focused on a VBAC that I lost site of what really mattered. Bringing my son home in ashes is not what I planned. You never ever ever know what will happen. Your holier than tho attitude is disgusting and downright insulting. You can have all the education in the world, but sometimes, **** happens.
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My trio: Alyssa 7, Tristan 4.75, Gavin 1.5

I am a mixture of all that and a bag of chips... IJS



Rest In Peace Jennifer <3



  #47  
December 1st, 2011, 08:10 PM
Tiki's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Alberta
Posts: 1,287
Quote:
Originally Posted by ProudPregnancy View Post
I'm sorry but I'm not here to ensure my 'likability' as an individual. I don't feel I need anykind of reassurance about my value as a social creature, especially by a bunch of women online that don't know anything about me. I do just fine socially in real life, and just generally never worry about being 'liked by all.'

I don't feel the 'urge to belong' and in NO WAY am I using the internet to create lasting friendships... My motivations for being here are probably different than some of you.

I'm here to discuss challenging subjects that interest me. Period. Regardless of how 'acceptable' my views may seem. I ENJOY good hearty conversations where you don't feel stiffled by over-reactions, assumtions and accusations. I love conversations where when someone doesnt agree, or doesnt understand, THEY ASK. They try to get MORE info, and not make a desicion and stick to it no matter what.
So you are here to troll and stir up touble. There is a debating section where you would be much more "welcome". I suggest you go check it out.
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The belief that there is only one truth and that oneself is in possession of it seems to me the
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  #48  
December 1st, 2011, 08:27 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Clovis, CA
Posts: 37,281
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From one of my favorite birth blogs, birth without fear.

‎"Birthing Without Fear means a woman is educated and knows her choices. It also means she follows HER INTUITION and what is right for HER. It is her body, her baby, her birth. Every mama is on her own journey, every pregnancy, birth and baby are different." ~Mrs. BWF

Trusting Birth and Trusting Ourselves as Birthing Women

I am all for a goo discussion about birth, but statements like the ones you have said are why many women are so turned off from people in the NCB community.
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Last edited by navywifey2003; December 1st, 2011 at 08:31 PM.
  #49  
December 1st, 2011, 08:31 PM
Sk8ermaiden's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 5,791
Good call tiki. Proud, I say this in all seriousness, the kind of thing you're doing here? Will really only be welcome on the debate board. I forgot that we had that. You will find that everyone else here is on JM to forge connections. This is not a debate board or an activism board - it is a support board. If what you claim to want is true, you will not find it on JM.

And there is a vast difference between worrying about "everyone" liking you, and being so obtuse and hostile that the entire room bristles and rolls their eyes when you walk in.
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  #50  
December 1st, 2011, 09:32 PM
Quantum_Leap's Avatar frequent flier
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Seattle area, Washington
Posts: 9,747
Quote:
Originally Posted by HarleighJanes.Mama View Post
The thing is your aren't making any positive changes. You are pissing off a whole group of women. And since you are so big on "I" statements according to your posts in your DDC And the PM's I received from you, here are some "I" statements for you.

"I" think you are nothing but a bully.
"I" think you have no intentions to offer support or advice, only to belittle.
"I" think you are full of $4!^.
"I" believe you are a pot stirrer and nothing but a drama queen.
"I" think you use an awful lot of google.


To add....

"I" think she spelled "independent," "affected," and "country" the wrong way, and typed "socialism" when she meant "socialization."
"I" think that her homeschool education is obviously not working out too well for her.
"I" think that I competed in college debate for three years and coached high school debate for five years, and I have never seen anyone convince anyone of anything using tactics like hers.

Try again!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sk8ermaiden View Post
Good call tiki. Proud, I say this in all seriousness, the kind of thing you're doing here? Will really only be welcome on the debate board. I forgot that we had that. You will find that everyone else here is on JM to forge connections. This is not a debate board or an activism board - it is a support board. If what you claim to want is true, you will not find it on JM.

And there is a vast difference between worrying about "everyone" liking you, and being so obtuse and hostile that the entire room bristles and rolls their eyes when you walk in.
It won't be welcome there, either. They like evidence and facts, and frown on broad-sweeping generalizations.
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  #51  
December 1st, 2011, 09:58 PM
Regular
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 51
Well, certainly glad that I could make sooo many mommies feel better about themselves! There's nothing like ganging up on a "bad guy" for the ole ego boost eh?

I LOVED what the person above me had to say too. I'm SUCH a moron for not caring about proof reading to a bunch of women trying to prove the fact that I'm an enormous waste of time to the whole 'clan.' You know, I was totaly hoping to point out someone elses typos too so I can further my point about how worthlss an stupid they are.. Oh GIRL, I'm like SO jelous!

Pardon me but I have to go kick some puppies now, because I can.
  #52  
December 1st, 2011, 10:24 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: I'm a husker girl :)
Posts: 16,335
Quote:
Originally Posted by ProudPregnancy View Post
Well, certainly glad that I could make sooo many mommies feel better about themselves! There's nothing like ganging up on a "bad guy" for the ole ego boost eh?

I LOVED what the person above me had to say too. I'm SUCH a moron for not caring about proof reading to a bunch of women trying to prove the fact that I'm an enormous waste of time to the whole 'clan.' You know, I was totaly hoping to point out someone elses typos too so I can further my point about how worthlss an stupid they are.. Oh GIRL, I'm like SO jelous!

Pardon me but I have to go kick some puppies now, because I can.
pardon my french by WHY THE FRENCH TOAST are you still posting here?
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December 9, 2013
5:20PM 8lb3oz 20.5"
Hospital water birth
  #53  
December 1st, 2011, 10:41 PM
Sk8ermaiden's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 5,791
SO I generally like Molly, but I am sorry she criticized your spelling. My career was, quite literally, being a copy editor. I fixed other people's writing for a living. I would absolutely CRINGE if anyone looked over my message board posts with a critical eye for typos. I would crawl in a hole It's part of why I rarely correct anyone's grammar or spelling online.

I have no idea why I felt the need post that when as you can tell I (based on your posts here) do not like you and do wish you would either get it through your head that this is a support board OR leave. Perhaps grammar is just so near and dear to my heart that I feel things like that are over the line.

Maybe it is just really late.

JM is "the friendliest place for mommies and mommies to be." Things like debate and activism? They get ugly fast - even when the parties AGREE as you see happening right here. Yes, JM can be ridiculously, artifically "nice," but I've been on less moderated forums and they suck. Babycenter is an example. Uck, no thanks.

If you need suggestions for turning your late term breech baby? Or want to know which birth tub is best? Or need a list of questions for interviewing a midwife or OB? Or are facing an induction for a valid medical reason and are scared? Got the birth you wanted and wish to shout it from the rooftops or had the opposite and are really struggling to process it? THAT is what this board does, and I would like to believe that if you ever came here with any of those concerns, even with this history, that the ladies here would be glad to try to help.

But the crap that you are doing is only ever going to get responses like it's gotten here. We try to mostly focus on the common thread we all believe, rather than the million niggling details that divide us. It is hard for women who are debating or arguing with each other to effectively support each other. Not only that, but this is kind of a safe haven where we DON'T have to trot out our data or defend things and debate. We get quite enough of that from our DDCs, family and friends.
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  #54  
December 2nd, 2011, 03:24 AM
Quantum_Leap's Avatar frequent flier
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Seattle area, Washington
Posts: 9,747
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sk8ermaiden View Post
SO I generally like Molly, but I am sorry she criticized your spelling. My career was, quite literally, being a copy editor. I fixed other people's writing for a living. I would absolutely CRINGE if anyone looked over my message board posts with a critical eye for typos. I would crawl in a hole It's part of why I rarely correct anyone's grammar or spelling online.
I wouldn't normally point it out, either, except in response to a thread where someone has gone out of her way to point out how uneducated the rest of us are! The irony needed mentioning.
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  #55  
December 2nd, 2011, 07:05 AM
thepinkleprechaun's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 10,988
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Quantum_Leap View Post
I wouldn't normally point it out, either, except in response to a thread where someone has gone out of her way to point out how uneducated the rest of us are! The irony needed mentioning.


It's funny because I've seen people like this before, having been on JM for a few years now. They go around acting like no one else on a message board could possibly be as smart as them. Well guess what, there are all kinds of people on message boards. Some have never graduated high school and some have PhDs, you just never know!

It's even funnier when they misspell crap though
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  #56  
December 2nd, 2011, 07:36 AM
Sk8ermaiden's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 5,791
Typos don't indicate people are any less educated or smart, especially on the internet. There was plenty in the content of her posts to take issue with.
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  #57  
December 2nd, 2011, 08:36 AM
BoobyDutyAgainJen's Avatar Proud Mom & Birth Mom
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 28,941
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sk8ermaiden View Post
SO I generally like Molly, but I am sorry she criticized your spelling. My career was, quite literally, being a copy editor. I fixed other people's writing for a living. I would absolutely CRINGE if anyone looked over my message board posts with a critical eye for typos. I would crawl in a hole It's part of why I rarely correct anyone's grammar or spelling online.

I have no idea why I felt the need post that when as you can tell I (based on your posts here) do not like you and do wish you would either get it through your head that this is a support board OR leave. Perhaps grammar is just so near and dear to my heart that I feel things like that are over the line.

Maybe it is just really late.

JM is "the friendliest place for mommies and mommies to be." Things like debate and activism? They get ugly fast - even when the parties AGREE as you see happening right here. Yes, JM can be ridiculously, artifically "nice," but I've been on less moderated forums and they suck. Babycenter is an example. Uck, no thanks.

If you need suggestions for turning your late term breech baby? Or want to know which birth tub is best? Or need a list of questions for interviewing a midwife or OB? Or are facing an induction for a valid medical reason and are scared? Got the birth you wanted and wish to shout it from the rooftops or had the opposite and are really struggling to process it? THAT is what this board does, and I would like to believe that if you ever came here with any of those concerns, even with this history, that the ladies here would be glad to try to help.

But the crap that you are doing is only ever going to get responses like it's gotten here. We try to mostly focus on the common thread we all believe, rather than the million niggling details that divide us. It is hard for women who are debating or arguing with each other to effectively support each other. Not only that, but this is kind of a safe haven where we DON'T have to trot out our data or defend things and debate. We get quite enough of that from our DDCs, family and friends.
WELL SAID!!!

I think this person is a troll. I am about positive. Best thing to do for a troll is to NOT FEED THE TROLL!! Walk away and let this person pot stir somewhere else.


On to the original question, my pet peeve is the patriarchal society that is at the root of ALL of the freaking birth issues women and their infants face. We are rooted in a society that makes women feel like their bodies are incapable of being "normal." From going to the doctor for some pain and having the doctor educated in a system that was created by MEN AND BASED OFF MEN'S BODIES belittle your pain, to a system where women are overly treated with antidepressants and hormone supplements , to a woman's body's mode of delivery. The medical system in the United States is based off standards that need reworked for more than the male gender standard.

We in general are trained from very early on to doubt our bodies, place full faith in our medical system, and to listen without question. THIS leads to ALL of the above stated pet peeves IMO.
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