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Informing without Judging?


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  • 3 Post By Carwen*Angel
  • 1 Post By Amazona

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  #1  
May 30th, 2012, 10:56 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,204
***removed and I apologize for bringing DDC "drama" here.*****
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~Lisa, homebirthing, homeschooling , homesteading mama. Married to my beloved for 19 years, raising a big brood of children on a little farm in Southern Michigan.

Mama to:
Nick, 18
Abby, 16
Gabe, 14
Isaac, 12
Mary-Kate, 11
Sam, 9
Henry, 8
Molly, 7
Mark, 5
Greta, 4
Cecilia,2
Josephine,1
Baby due Jan. 2014

Last edited by JoyfulChaosMama; May 30th, 2012 at 05:12 PM.
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  #2  
May 30th, 2012, 01:35 PM
Carwen*Angel's Avatar Fly away on my zephyr
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Location: Manchester, UK
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I don't know. It's hard. A lot of ladies on my DDC do it really well. When they post their information they start with "This is what I believe" or "This is some information you might find useful" or whatever. They also often state "This is just my opinion" or "I completely respect your opinion, but this is mine."

It's a line I think some people cross between giving information and trying to impose their views/beliefs/opinions on somebody else. It's the point at which people say "I think you should..." There it is. That's the line. It can be avoided by using different phrasing "I hope you'll think carefully/consider because..." for example.
duckies0, Amazona and Mommy-to-2 like this.
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  #3  
May 30th, 2012, 01:57 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Maybe I'm just not good at knowing where that line is. I don't know.
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~Lisa, homebirthing, homeschooling , homesteading mama. Married to my beloved for 19 years, raising a big brood of children on a little farm in Southern Michigan.

Mama to:
Nick, 18
Abby, 16
Gabe, 14
Isaac, 12
Mary-Kate, 11
Sam, 9
Henry, 8
Molly, 7
Mark, 5
Greta, 4
Cecilia,2
Josephine,1
Baby due Jan. 2014
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  #4  
May 30th, 2012, 04:05 PM
Preggo Foster Momma!
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle
Posts: 1,333
From your June DDC. This post was found here by another one of your DDC'ers.

Your advice is now lost and ignored by many of us. Me personally, I stopped paying attention to your posts when you accused women of being completely immoral for using birth control and wouldn't accept that life situations and women in general are different.

You hold yourself and life very high on a pedastol and its very obvious. Please stop making us look up your nose. It might prove useful in gaining respect and getting your points across without resistance. No one responds well to arrogance.

BTW, you asked. peace.

Last edited by Zoii; May 30th, 2012 at 04:08 PM.
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  #5  
May 30th, 2012, 04:20 PM
Mommy-to-2's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 435
there is a way to say things without being judgemental. give your opinon and advice without telling them what to do and how to do it and telling them what they want to do is wrong. give your advice and best wishes.
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  #6  
May 30th, 2012, 05:23 PM
Amazona's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Montreal, Qc
Posts: 8,643
Like the Sharron said, it´s the way the views or advice is offered.
People will definitely respect your views and information will be appreciated if you expose them in a respectful manner, without assuming the other person knows what you are talking about.
Like, when we were talking about membrane sweeping and you said "at 37w xx?"
It would´ve been perhaps more helpful or less confrontational to mention that while 37 weeks is full term, it is a bit borderline and the procedure is usually not done before 39 weeks unless there are medical reasons (my own case for instance).
Just an example of wording.

And, Sharron... you TOTALLY nailed it on my reading!!! I´m having another boy!
They were twins to begin with but I lost one at 7 weeks.
Just wanted to tell you that I told everybody you were awesome at what you do
JoyfulChaosMama likes this.
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  #7  
May 31st, 2012, 02:04 AM
Carwen*Angel's Avatar Fly away on my zephyr
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Paola! Always nice to know of a successful reading! So sorry for the twin you lost though sweetie. Wow you don't have long to go!! I must start stalking your DDC for birth stories, I knew quite a few of the June ladies from the TTC board xxx
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