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What does the pregnancy and childbirth phase of your life bring that takes your out of your comfort zone for the type of person you are?
For me, I am a people pleaser. When I am pregnant, it is hard to take the focus off of other people and let them serve me. Being a people pleaser, I also struggle to communicate with care providers. I do it, but I am mixed with many complex emotions and it takes a lot of bravery on my part. I also struggle with not physically feeling "up" to taking care of everyone around me all the time. I'm not really a modest person nor am I afraid of pain, so that doesn't bother me as much.
What's hard for you?
Previously known as ~~Que~~
Student Midwife, Doula, Placenta Specialist, and Lactation Counselor
OH wow... this is a good topic because I really need to put some thought into this.
I think for me the hardest part that takes me out of my comfort zone is the total lack of control. NO control of my body, my preggo brain drives me batty. Lack of being able to plan around this birth... cause it's gonna happen when he is ready, not when is most convenient for me.
I also feel a lack of control over my birth experience. I know that is because I am having to deliver in a hospital and not getting a doula as I had wanted. A home birth with a midwife and doula was what I wanted. Not knowing if I will have to fight or push for the birth that I want throws extra stress on me and def. takes me out of my comfort zone.
There is def. the fear of the pain for me, as I did not cope well last time. I feel better prepared this time but still have a fear that I will not be able to get on top of the contractions to handle them this time around. I am just realizing this as birth is so close. Working to practice techniques daily and hopefully my mind will be in the right place.
Proud momma of 3 - 2 his and one ours
due with #4 in November, still nursing #3!
I love to blog, although I don't have much time for it recently... I will be back at it as soon as I can!
I'm into health and fitness and just overall staying in shape, so I get uncomfortable not being able to exercise like I used to and seeing the number go up on the scale. I know it's completely irrational and I'm supposed to gain weight in pregnancy, but I still have a hard time with it. I exercise every day, but I do miss my running routine. It's just too much for my round ligaments I hope once baby gets here I'll be able to get back into it.
I had a very easy pregnancy and birth so I don't have many complaints. In a way I feel like pregnancy is my "comfort zone" lol. I did not like the lack of control I felt over my body when I was pregnant. Especially when I went so far past my edd with no dilation or signs of labor at all. I felt like my body was failing me and there was no way for me to will my baby out. I also didn't like the extreme sense of responsibility that I felt (and still do feel). It's scary to know that someone else is completely dependent on you and my life seems so much more valuable now but not in a good way if that makes any sense.
I have trouble with baby brain. I own my business and since we don't have a store front we are always meeting new people at craft shows and pet events and having to try to remember people from events that were a couple months ago. Effectively communicating with everyone on prices, variety, and availability gets difficult. I find if I have a good bit of protein for breakfast then I have an easier time of it. But, pretty much, during pregnancy, my inability to communicate with people makes things difficult.
I am very clear with my care provider about what I am and am not willing to have done through labor and delivery. I have trouble being forceful sometimes unless I feel it is REALLY necessary so I have a birth plan and make sure my husband is completely on board with it that way I am making my intentions known. He acts as an enforcer/helper should I not be able to verbally let my wants be known during labor and delivery. Though I have to get it together very quickly after the birth because the pediatricians and nurses always talk him into something or other concerning the baby that we had previously agreed not to have done.
Other than that, my kids and I are very active and not being able to keep up with them and participate in their antics is really hard. I hate having to say "I can't do that."
Hmmm... so far the hardest thing for me is looking forward to the complete unknown and not letting that freak me out. I'm a bit of a control freak in that I want to know all about what I'm doing. It makes me feel some measure of comfort and control. I have tried to prepare myself as best as I can for this, but there are so many things that I just won't have a clue about until they happen. How will my body react to all of this? What will my labor be like? How will I handle the pain? Will I be able to get out of my own way and just trust in the process? Those kinds of things...
The lack of control is a huge hurdle for me, too. I've accepted that I don't have much control over my body or this baby. I can make good, healthy choices and care for it the best way I know how, but a lot will happen beyond my control and I'm learning to go with the flow on that. (Hopefully, this is good preparation for parenting?) But feeling out of control with health care providers has been very distressing to me, and I worry that it will only get worse with a hospital birth. The more confidence I gain that I can labor and deliver naturally, the more worried I feel that a medical person will overreact to normal progression and intervene unnecessarily. I'm generally pretty confident, so this is a very uncomfortable place for me.
Physically, I would say pregnancy is uncomfortable, but I've read enough about it that none of it's a surprise, and I'd rather be pregnant and uncomfortable than not pregnant.
I too did not do well with not being able to plan the birth to a T and when baby was going to come. We had a lot of IFs at the time and DH was out to sea a lot so we didn't know if he was going to make the birth and hired a doula last minute. Thankfully he was there a she was an amazing asset.
I didn't fear the pain of labor until it was there. The lack of control during labor I was NOT a fan of. I'm always in control of things so that was not something I enjoyed. And then no one really told me to prepare for the possibility of back labor and OMG I wish I would have. It took me completely by surprise, I never felt a pain really in my stomach at all, it was all in my lower back. I never got that enjoyable gradual labor people speak of were they relaxed and stuff. Umm lol. Yea, my water broke and contractions became two mintutes apart almost instantly. Don't get me wrong, I cannot wait to do labor all over again because it's kind of a challenge to see if I can make the experience better. Like I messed up somewhere along the way. I know it sounds silly and I accomplished what I set out to do, have a natural birth center labor. But I didn't do it in the tub and dh forgot to catch the baby and I got lost in the pain quite a bit.