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I am pregnant with #3. I have lupus so have always been high risk. Our first DD had a complicated pregnancy, I had a partial placenta separation and she had IUGR, placenta quit functioning...I was induced at 35 weeks and it was pretty awful but i did have an epi about 14 hours in to it so it ended up being ok.
DD#2- Much less complicated than #1, no IUGR, but I did have low fluid and there were some questions about the placenta at the end and she started looking a little stressed, so I was induced at 39 weeks...Was given pitocin all day and nothing much happened. Then all of the sudden things started getting really bad so I asked for my epi (I NEVER EVER EVER planned a natural birth. EVER. lol) They told me to go pee first and as soon as I sat down to pee she just started coming. i couldn't get up or move or breathe or do anything but scream. They got me back into the bed and said I was at 10 and it was too late for an epi. They also wouldn't put anything in my IV or give me ANYTHING. The contractions were all on top of each other and it was an absolute NIGHTMARE. They were trying to get me to push and all I could do was scream and cry and I almost passed out. There was no break from contractions at all. THis went on for about 50 minutes, they realized she was hung up on my pelvic bone and also coming out face first. At this point she started having decels so they attempted to use the vacuum twice unsucessfully and then finally on the third time it worked and she came out. I tore. It was seriously so so so so horrible and scary. I really think I was traumatized by it LOL. I started having panic attacks afterward for about 6 months and I hate thinking about it at all.
Well now I am pregnant with #3. Thrilled! But sooooo terrified of what the birth will be like and I I will end up having to go through something again like last time where there is "no time" to get the epi.
I know this is the natural childbirth board and most of you LIKE doing it without drugs but I was just hoping someone could offer any sort of encouragement or anything? I have taken lots of childbirth classes and seminars and my close friend is actually a doula (and was there with #2) so I don't think it was lack of preparation....*IF* I happen to get really really lucky and do not need an induction and get to go in to labor without pit is it really true the contractions are not as bad?? At this point that is all I am clinging to LOL
__________________ Ella, age 10 Abby, age 6 Max, age 3
There is a HUGE difference going into labor planning a natural birth and being forced to have a NCB without wanting one. Preparation or not, most of it is mindset. Think about it like eating at a restaurant. You order one thing on the menu but they bring you something else and then tell you they can't fix it, you have to eat this alternate meal. While you may have been fine with it had you ordered it, it's not what you planned on and so you feel grumpy and miserable eating it now. Not the best comparison, but all I could think of LOL.
Also, from everyone I've talked to pitocin contractions are vastly different than natural contractions. They aren't a slow warm-up, they are much more intense from the get-go.
pitocin contracts are EVIL. I've had them. You can't really compare them to natural childbirth. I planned NCB with y last, and I was 7cm before I felt any contractions (which would have made me too late for an epi even if I was at the hospital). You don't have to hae a NCB if you don't want one, but maybe this time you should consider taking some childbirth classes or hynobirthing--that should help you whether you have an epi or end up being forced to go natural again.
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I was induced at 39 weeks and thankfully never had any Pit.
I was induced with only Cervidil, which took 3 days. But looking back I'm glad I waited the extra couple days and did not go the Pit route. As once I hit active labour, it was fast and intense and I ended up not having enough time for an Epi (I broke down and asked).
Next time, I will try hypnobabies again. I got too anxious for it to work (cuz I got mega dizzy and that freaked me out).
I also have lupus, as well as Dermatomyositis and Fibromyalgia. I wonder if that has any bearing on the amount we feel the pain of childbirth.
Next time I also hope to avoid an induction all together (IUGR this time) and go for a home water birth.
For one: I think Kelli made a wonderful point. It is entirely different to plan a natural birth and to be forced into one. The mental space about it is entirely different. I have heard many women say that the worst part of labor was "waiting for the epi" because they were counting on that pain relief and could barely cope while they were waiting, sorta like a mental weakening of resolve. I don't mean epis are weak, but the knowledge that they are coming with relief makes the contractions harder to handle, kWIM?
For two: Pitocin contractions are NOTHING like natural contractions. I had a beautiful, easy NCB with my first, and an evil pitocin induced birth with my second. I can tell you from experience, they felt nothing alike. I WAS prepared for a NCB...and was left screaming for minutes at a time on pitocin. I will be trying everything in my power to have no pitocin this time. If I need it for whatever reason (I am also high risk for a blood clotting disorder), I will have them hook me to an epi before that pitocin ever hits my uterus. I am not kidding. I have no desire to do that again.
And three: It sounds likes both of your births were somewhat traumatizing and that would make anyone hesitant to want to do it again. But try to remember that each baby is different and the next one could be easy as pie. I know my two this far were night and day for nearly everything, so it's certainly possible that this labor/delivery will go an entirely different way. I don't blame you for being scared. I am even scared and had a significantly less traumatizing experience (mine was mostly the pitocin). Hang around for lots of positive thoughts. The ladies here are very uplifting and even if you want the epi, it can help to remind yourself that your body is capable and you can handle it, as you did before. And hopefully you won't be handling anything as difficult.
Hi! And welcome! I think these ladies have given you some wonderful advice and I really don't have much to add. But I hope you can find the support you are looking for here to go into your next experience more prepared for any all all situations.
And I have to lol at your comment about many of us "liking" NCB. I honestly love all things birth, and I sort of liked my 3rd experience, but while I am doing it, I HATE IT. Ha. I just love feeling confident in doing what I feel is best for my babe.
Welcome! I'm so sorry for your experience. It is a very real thing to leave a birth traumatized, so don't feel like that's not important. I would encourage you try to talk through your experience (maybe with your friend/doula since she was present? Or a supportive midwife), and work through your fears before this next baby. Fear from trauma can cause tension and prolong labor.
May I ask what type of birthing classes you have already done? One point I want to make is that being educated on labor and birth stages, and being educated in coping/relaxation methods are very different. Even if you are not planning on going natural this time, I would highly recommend looking into a natural birth class such as Bradley, which will teach you several different methods of relaxation during contractions, so you can choose what works for you at the time.
Again Welcome! I hope you find the support here that you need to help heal and prepare.
Thank you all so much!!! You guys are great and I'm sure I'll be sticking around I THINK if I am able to go in without pitocin I will try really hard to go drug free, I at least want to see if I can and maybe be better equipped going in, I'll definitely look into the hypnobabies class, I actually think my friend teaches one. I have taken a standard class and a bradley class but when I actually got thrown into it it all went out the window LOL! I think if it ends up involving pitocin again I am going to really try and get the epi if I can before it's too late, I just think I have like, a paranoia about pit at this point and i don't know that I can overcome that.
I really really hope I can avoid induction#3 because a part of me, i think, NEEDS to do it again without drugs, but try to remain somewhat in control and not have it be so traumatic so I can kind of say "&%\+ you childbirth, I CAN handle it!" LOL!!!!!
__________________ Ella, age 10 Abby, age 6 Max, age 3
Last edited by mamalamb; January 6th, 2013 at 06:23 PM.
Everything I was going to say has already been mentioned. Being forced to have a natural birth to me is just as bad as a mother who wants a natural birth and is forced into using drugs or csection. If it's not in your birth plan but at the same time it's an unnecessary intervention then it often leaves the mother traumatized. I specifically told my Doula and Midwife that if I end up needing an induction with pitocin then just hook the epi up with it. Would I have tried without? Maybe. But I've just been told so many stories of the women going through 10,12, 14 hours with pit just to end up with an epi. I'm NOT suffering through pitocin contractions just to end up with one. PLUS, in my opinion, NCB means drug free. It does NOT mean epi free. A lot of women mistake that. So if I'm already being given the pitocin, might as well give me the epi because you've already given me drugs. I don't need a medal for going through labor without an epidural. BTDT. That wasn't my purpose at all in doing it. So I fully believe that a NCB and a pitocin child birth are night and day and I don't need to experience the pitocin to believe it.