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A beautiful baby boy, extreme exhaustion, my worst nightmare, and a trip to the ICU.


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
March 17th, 2013, 09:38 PM
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This is a little O/T, but since I have been most active here about my pregnancy I decided to update here. I delivered my beautiful baby boy, Ryker Liam Magill on Friday, 3/15 at 10:55 A.M. He weighed 7lbs 14oz, and had a full head of dark hair. I was surprised to see that he looked so much like me, with his daddy's perfect lips and chin. I couldn't believe I was capable of creating something so amazing.

Unfortunately, I did not have the dream water birth I imagined. I labored for a little over 40 hours total, baby was in a bad position and I was having such bad back labor. I stuck it out as long as I could, but after hour 37, I had reached a point of insanity...and I mean that with total honesty. The poor hospital staff had a hard time with me, that's for sure. I finally decided that I was too exhausted to go through with the birth naturally and asked for the Epi. I was, and still am, very disappointed in myself. I feel like I failed, somehow. The epidural actually didn't last that long for me and after an hour I could feel contractions again. I felt most of the transition period, and had an easy time pushing because of the fact that it had worn off mostly by that time.

For the first day, everything was amazing. I was in baby bliss. Nothing could bring me down. We had a difficult time nursing, but on Saturday night he magically knew what to do and latched on perfectly and nursed for a very long time. I was so, so happy.

Sunday, my world came crashing down. I had woken up to my nurse giving me my medicine and decided to try and nurse Ryker since he had woken up. He didn't really want to latch so I decided to have skin-to-skin time with him instead. I was so happy to be laying there with him. But then I began having heart palpitations. I wasn't concerned initially, as I have them frequently, but then decided that I might as well page a nurse since I had the button. So I did, and she brought back the machines. My BP was bottoming out and my pulse was at 245....what?! I had no idea what to do. Before I could say anything, Rapid Response was called to my room.

after machines and needles were hooked up to me, and EKG tests were ran, I became scared. They grabbed Ryker quickly from me, woke DH and said, "your wife is going into cardiac arrest." I only remember the look on his face, and it breaks my heart. I was rushed to ICU faster than I thought possible. They told me they were going to give me a medicine to help the pressure I had.

They didn't tell me that they were giving me adenosine. I was told to breathe, which I couldn't do. I didn't know why. The pressure was gone in my neck but I couldn't draw a breath, I just remember trying to make every noise I could on the bed to let the 7 doctors in front of me know that I was not okay. And then I remember a horrible, terrifying calm. I suddenly became okay with not breathing, and I fainted. I woke up a short while later and was told they had to stop and re-start my heart.

I'm still in the ICU, still heartbroken, and very terrified. I haven't seen my baby since he was taken from my arms and I miss him more than anything. They brought me his blanket and cap so that I could have something of his while I'm up here but all I do is cry. The ICU is no place for a postpartum woman. There are absolutely no accommodations, it's bright, there is no privacy to even pump...and because they can't allow a postpartum woman who has a heart monitor off of ICU, I cannot even visit my baby. I cannot breastfeed him, so he has to be given formula. The worst part is that my insurance will not cover a room for postpartum now. DH and Ryker were kicked out of postpartum, and they had to take Ryker to NICU for jaundice and dehydration.

My head is spinning. Just yesterday morning my world was perfect and I was about to leave the hospital with my new little boy, and now I'm in intense pain, I'm exhausted and I haven't seen my newborn in almost 24 hours. Poor DH is beside himself because he can't see me or the baby until certain times. I'm hooked up to every machine you could think of, being told I have a heart condition that will require extensive monitoring to fix.

I can only hope that this nightmare ends soon. I have this fear that Ryker will forget who I am if I'm away too long. They expect me to stay up here so that I stay calm, yet I'm across the hospital from my sweet baby who needs me. I apologize if this doesn't make much sense...I'm functioning on very little sleep and lots of medication.


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  #2  
March 17th, 2013, 10:09 PM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
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I am so sorry to hear how terrifying and upsetting your postpartum time has become. I wish there were words to express how sorry I am that you have to be going through this right now. I'll send up good thoughts that you get out of ICU very soon and back to your little boy. He absolutely won't forget you. He knows everything about you from your sound to your smell. Don't be hard on yourself. Clearly it was all out of your control. Concentrate on getting well and the fact that you do have a gorgeous and healthy son. Again, I am so sorry.
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  #3  
March 18th, 2013, 12:30 AM
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I'm so so sorry your whole family is in my prayers. I hope you get to snuggle your baby soon...
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  #4  
March 18th, 2013, 01:46 AM
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Thank you for the kind words. They really mean so much to me right now. The nurses in ICU aren't very accommodating for a postpartum woman and they especially love to tell me "You won't get to see your baby today if ____ happens", or, "If you can't calm down and stop crying you will just have to wait another day to see him"...I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure that's really counter-productive.

I did try to get some rest, as they were angry that I had not slept. Of course, as soon as I fall asleep they order a plethora of tests to be done so I only managed a half hour. I'm just ready to rip my hair out at this point...
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  #5  
March 18th, 2013, 06:52 AM
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I'm so sorry. Your sweet baby boy will most certainly know who you are! Hang in there and prayers for your family.
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  #6  
March 18th, 2013, 09:31 AM
Husher's Avatar B & E complete me.
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Oh, I'm so so sorry this is happening to you and your family. I hope they will be able to release you from ICU soon so that you can be with your son again. He won't forget you. ((HUGS))
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  #7  
March 18th, 2013, 10:28 AM
Laurenj915's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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OMG, I got so teary reading your story. I am glad you are both doing relatively OK. You must just miss your baby more than anything. Thinking about you and hoping you get to see your sweet baby soon. Love love love the name!
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  #8  
March 18th, 2013, 10:44 AM
BeamerMarie- Due Jan 2012
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I have a similar story and grief about it. I was in labor for days, and the hospital kept sending me home as I was having real contractions, but not dilating past 2cm. I ended-up being "induced" at 41 weeks and 5 days. They had to get something moving. My contractions were so bad I hadn't slept in 72 hours and couldn't keep down food or water (multiple IV bags of fluids throughout the previous 48 hours). I went nearly 8 hours on pitocin with no epidural.

I was so sleep and calorie deprived that I could handle the contractions every 60 seconds, just not the lack of sleep. I was at 9cm for hours and hours. She was tiltled, and my cervix would not dilate the last bit. The doctors kept telling me I would need a C-Section soon. My water had broken and there was mecunium, and we were getting occasional fetal heart rate issues.

The doctors tried for hours to convince me an epidural might allow me to relax enough to "complete."

I got the epidural, feel asleep within 5 minutes, and woke-up shortly (like 30 minutes) thereafter with an incredible urge to push. She was born about 45 mintues later.

I feel so bad for giving in and getting an epidural, but feel it helped me avoid a c-section.

As for the rest of your story, I'm so sorry and I hope they figure it out and help you heal quickly.

Last edited by beamermarie; March 18th, 2013 at 10:50 AM.
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  #9  
March 18th, 2013, 07:13 PM
therevslady's Avatar Built for Birth
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Oh my goodness! My heart breaks for you and everything you are going through! Do they have any idea what put you into cardiac arrest?

At many hospital ICU's you can ask for a privacy screen to be brought to you to use while pumping. I've used it my self when I was held at the hospital for a time. I know that if you could do that one thing, it might put your mind at ease a little bit. ICU nurses are tough. I'm so so so sorry, but I am so glad you are OK.
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  #10  
March 18th, 2013, 09:22 PM
daneeleigh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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OMG, I'm so sorry hun! I can't imagine what you're going through and not being able to be with your baby. I hope they accomodate you so that you can keep your supply up. Have they figured out what caused your cardiac arrest? Did you have a blood clot?
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  #11  
March 19th, 2013, 03:44 PM
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I'm so sorry that your birth didn't go as you had hoped and planned and that postpartum has been so terrible and scary for you and your baby boy. I hope that you are able to be with him and that both of you can go home very very soon.
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  #12  
March 20th, 2013, 07:23 PM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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he is so gorgeous, mama. your post made me cry I am so so sorry you are going through this. I hope you are well soon, that you can see your son soon, and that they can find out what caused this so you can (hopefully) have peace of mind that it won't happen again. you will be in my thoughts. please keep us updated <3
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  #13  
March 20th, 2013, 08:20 PM
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My heart aches for you! I am in you ddc and happened to check here as I am now over due.
My sister has a heart condition and I know they took extreme precaution with her pregnancies.
I can't believe the cardiac nurses are being rude to you. Well at least I think they are from the sound of it. I have another sister that is a cardiac ICU nurse and I am going to have a lengthy discussion with her about this situation.

I am pulling for you to get to see your son ASAP! He won't forget you, your his momma! Your in my thoughts and prayers!
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  #14  
March 27th, 2013, 08:10 PM
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Thank you all for the support! I am very happy to report that Ryker and I are now home and doing well. The condition I was diagnosed with is called SVT (supra ventricular tachycardia) as well as a similar illness called Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome. They are usually very minor problems, but happened to go bad in this instance. I have a cardiac ablation surgery scheduled for next Tuesday that (should) solve the issue permanently, and I should expect to have no problems in the future whatsoever if the surgery goes well.

Being separated from Ryker was very tough, but I was so happy when I finally was able to see him. We are now nursing very well and I was able to keep my milk supply up thanks to a very loving hubby who made numerous videos of Ryker for me as well as wrapping a newborn-sized stuffed bear in his blankets and clothing to keep with me in the ICU. It was a very scary experience that I am more than happy to finally put behind me after the surgery.
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  #15  
March 27th, 2013, 09:25 PM
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Oh my goodness I am so happy you posted the follow up and you and your GORGEOUS baby are home. He is amazing!

I'm so sorry you had that experience and even sorrier still that the nurses were threatening you like that! For heaven's sake, you are a woman who had just given birth, not a teenager on a behaviour modification program! The way human beings treat other human beings is just not acceptable. Sigh.

Thank you for the follow up and hopefully your surgery goes very well. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!
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  #16  
March 27th, 2013, 09:25 PM
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Oh my goodness I am so happy you posted the follow up and you and your GORGEOUS baby are home. He is amazing!

I'm so sorry you had that experience and even sorrier still that the nurses were threatening you like that! For heaven's sake, you are a woman who had just given birth, not a teenager on a behaviour modification program! The way human beings treat other human beings is just not acceptable. Sigh.

Thank you for the follow up and hopefully your surgery goes very well. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!
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  #17  
March 28th, 2013, 05:32 PM
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I am so sorry about what you went through. I too had a similar labor with my first, and ended up with the epidural. I was so mad at myself, but I also know I very well could have ended up with a c/s if I hadn't gotten it. But it also made me know I could do it naturally the second time around because I had lasted so long the first time. And I did! A "short" 9 hour labor for me!

I'm so glad they found out what was wrong with your heart, and hopefully you won't have any more issues with it after the surgery.
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  #18  
April 2nd, 2013, 02:02 PM
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I am so glad you are doing better! Have you had your surgery yet?

I actually was diagnosed with SVT and WPW in 1997. I had the ablation surgery and it helped, but did not completely solve my problem. It doesn't seem to be an issue for the most part. My mother has the same thing and so do two of my kids. My mom has had the ablation, but the kids have not. We are watching and waiting.
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  #19  
April 7th, 2013, 08:20 AM
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Oh mama! I can't even fathom all you have been through! I am SO relieved that you are home and *together*! Way to go for continuing breastfeeding! Most would have given that up without a second thought in your shoes. You are so strong! Please do not feel bad about the epidural. 37 hours is *nothing* to be ashamed of! Congratulations on a *beautiful* healthy baby boy!! Please KUP as you continue to recover! ((Hugs)) I just want to bring you a meal and do your laundry!
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  #20  
April 7th, 2013, 05:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~~Que~~ View Post
I am so glad you are doing better! Have you had your surgery yet?

I actually was diagnosed with SVT and WPW in 1997. I had the ablation surgery and it helped, but did not completely solve my problem. It doesn't seem to be an issue for the most part. My mother has the same thing and so do two of my kids. My mom has had the ablation, but the kids have not. We are watching and waiting.
I had my ablation surgery last Tuesday and am still recovering. I've had a lot of heart fluttering since the surgery but have yet to go back into SVT. My doctor believes that WPW is actually a very likely cause for all of the things I've experienced. The surgeon did make a comment that most women with SVT who have the ablation have more than one muscle band to burn in the heart, but I'm lucky to only have one.

The only disappointment is that the SVT is apparently not what caused the attack in the hospital. Even after the ablation, my heart rate is still abnormally fast and they are considering a heart monitor for a day or two so they can further examine everything. They suspect that it could be a thyroid condition. I am so fearful that Ryker will have SVT or WPW as well. It's probably not healthy for my mentality, but I often listen to his heart to make sure it's not beating irregularly. I'm just glad that I know what to look for. I hope he never has to deal with these icky heart issues :/

On the plus side, I can already tell a difference in my energy levels since the surgery. Not by much, but I do feel generally "better" I suppose. The only problem is that my legs are aching so badly still! I Hopefully after a couple of days I'll be back to normal and can finally resume life.

EDIT: I also had to stop breastfeeding unfortunately. I am by far NOT happy about that, but my body stopped producing milk entirely after the surgery. I had to pump for the first 24 hours afterwards because of medications, and pumping every hour only yielded 2 oz. After three days of attempting to nurse and also pump to increase production, I realized I was hardly producing anything at all. I tried mother's milk tea, supplements, oatmeal, drinking a TON of water...nothing seemed to help. :/ I'm very disappointed. Hopefully in the future I will have a much better experience....as for now, I can't even picture another baby after everything. I'd be perfectly fine with my little boy forever.

Last edited by Pinkapple; April 7th, 2013 at 05:56 PM.
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