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Siblings attending the birth


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
July 28th, 2006, 04:06 PM
Mama-honey's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Ella is a very precocious 2 1/2 year old. Assuming I go full term, she'd be just about 3. We speak to her very matter-of-factly and I've always been amazed at how much she seems to truly understand this whole pregnant experience. We've decided to leave it up to her if she'd like to be present for Onnika's delivery. My mom (Ella's most trusted compadre) will be her "sitter." Ella knows that she can come to the hospital, go with Grandma, whatever she wants. She knows that it will be hard work for me, that it will hurt, that the baby may be bloody. She also knows how/where they take the baby out of the belly, if necessary (she would NOT be present for that.) She has seen many births on TV and is always riveted to the screen. We've made it very low-pressure as far as her being there (or not.) She has told us that at this point, she'd like to be at the hospital, but that could change at any point.

Sorry for the mini novel, but my point is: Have I left anything out? Does anyone have experience with a sibling attending the birth (especially a toddler-ish sibling?) I feel like I REALLY know my child and what she's capable of, but if anyone thinks I'm TRULY kidding myself, feel free to let me know.
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  #2  
July 28th, 2006, 05:37 PM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
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Ani was there for Cameron's birth. She was 19 1/2 months. She and my mom ended up being outside for the actual delivery since he came sooner than anyone expected. I did not do anything to prepare her. Ani and Cameron were both there for Fritz's birth. They are 6 1/2 and 4 3/4. They both chose to leave the room during the pushing phase and so did not actually see their brother get born, but came in right after. I had told them beforehand they could stay or go as they felt was right for them. That was the extent of their preparation. They both handled labor very well.
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  #3  
July 28th, 2006, 06:00 PM
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My son Jack just turned 5 and wants to be there for his sister's birth, but hubby is adamantly against it, in case of complications. I disagree becuse I have no reason to believe there will be any complications, and a good friend has offered to be there just for him, making sure he i okay and answering any questions he has. One of his favorite books right now is A Child Is Born by Lennart Nilsson, which has photgraphs of babies in the womb and graphic childbirth photos as well, he is not bothered by them.He aslo has seen childbirth on video (I forget the title) and had no problem with it, he understands that the baby is just messy bloody, not hurt bloody, and that the mother shouts and makes faces becuase she is trying so hard, not that there is something wrong. I would be fine with my son being there but since hubby is opposed he will not be, its important to me for hubby to be comfortable and relaxed, focised on me and our new child, not worrying about our older son. Oh well , sigh.
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  #4  
July 28th, 2006, 06:39 PM
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My little girl will be 22 months when her brother is born... I probably wouldn't want her there. I personally would want the bonding with my new one to be between me and him.. I guess?
I don't think she would do well because I video-taped her birth and when I watch and she hears me moan and grunt, it upsets her... it's kinda cute
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  #5  
July 29th, 2006, 04:09 AM
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My 3 year old and 6 year old are planning on being at Xander's birth. In fact, my 6 year old has requested to be able to cut the cord. I am just SOOO in love
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  #6  
July 29th, 2006, 07:26 AM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
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My 6 year old wanted to cut the cord, too. My dad cut Ani's, my mom cut Cameron's. I cut Fritz's. I decided it was my turn (and my husband doesn't want to ever cut a cord). I promised her that she can cut baby #4's cord.
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  #7  
July 30th, 2006, 07:20 PM
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My story is a bit different as my kids' are older...however, I had my 14 y/o son, my 17 y/o daughter, my Mom and my DH in the room with me when I delivered. It was the MOST AMAZING experience I've ever had!! It was amazing to have everyone I loved so much in the same room with me when I delivered my, (now), 7 week old son.

They were all so encouraging and they gave me the strength to keep calm and focused throughout the whole process.

I'd say if you want your kids in the room with you, then don't let others tell you not to do this!!!

Belle.
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  #8  
July 30th, 2006, 09:43 PM
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Most likely our son will be free to come and go as he pleases. We're having a homebirth in the living room which opens to the foyer and kitchen. No doors between any of the rooms. I'm going to work on making him a little book tonight to help prepare him more for the birth.

He will be 2 years 1 month when the baby is due.

~Nay
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  #9  
July 31st, 2006, 10:09 AM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think youve got all the bases covered, and youre providing a wonderful experience for your little one She will grow up to view birth as a normal natural occurance and hopefully this will benefit her when she becomes a mother

I think children are a lot more resiliant than we tend to give them credit for. They understand quite a bit, although some need a little more preparation than others. Just like moms & dads - some do wonderfully with very little preparation, and others just need a bit more.

Keep talking to her about it, and discussing all the different things.



Good luck

by the way, my son is 7 and will also be present for the birth. My DH has a 3 yr odl and he likely wont have visitaiton at the time we have him, but if by some chance we do have him, hell be there as well

Lala...
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  #10  
July 31st, 2006, 03:42 PM
Mama-honey's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks for sharing, everyone! I feel like including her will be an amazing experience (if she so chooses.)
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  #11  
August 2nd, 2006, 09:46 AM
persephonewillow's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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chiming in a little late to say that our daughter was there at the hospital for our son's birth. she was 2.5 at the time. my mom was there to watch our daughter... much like your mom will be there for your daughter

i did have complications after Jake's birth... i hemorraged pretty badly. but because my mom was there she took care of Juliet, took her out of the room during that part (it was a little scary). but i wouldn't do anything any differently if i had to do it over again.

after his birth my daughter held my son and sang happy birthday to him. it was the sweetest moment on earth. she was just filled with wonder and love when her little brother was born.

and i think her being invited to be involved in his birth helped her accept him as part of the family without much in the way of jealousy. it's not like one day i went to the hospital and ta-da... she had a brother... she was there to witness his birth... kwim? they're really close as siblings and always have been (she's 10 and he's 7 now).
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  #12  
August 2nd, 2006, 08:47 PM
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I have a 3 yr old and a 10 yr old step daughter.Depending if my step daughter is home or not both girls will be able to witness the birth.

Its weird my 3 yr old is sooo calm about things..especially if I get upset she'll tell me to "Just breath mommy" I think she'll be a wonderful little labor coach!
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