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  • 2 Post By ashj_1218

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  #1  
June 25th, 2013, 04:18 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I wasn't nervous for my first natural birth, with my 2nd I didn't know what to expect because I was induced with Brylie...this time...i just want to stay pregnant forever because I'm not sure I have another 54 hour labor in me again

Did you feel more nervous with each birth, after you knew what to expect? It's not even that actually giving birth is terrible - that part is pretty easy....it's just the labor I'm kind of dreading, because both of mine have been pretty long. (30 hr/54 hr)
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Maverick Jude
December 9, 2013
5:20PM 8lb3oz 20.5"
Hospital water birth
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  #2  
June 25th, 2013, 07:20 PM
GranolaMamaOf3's Avatar ~Heather~
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In general, I have very fond thoughts towards labor and birth. I'm going to be one of those weird women who miss it one day when I'm done having babies.

But I'm not gonna lie; I had a lot more apprehension at the beginning of this pregnancy than with my second... And I've never even had a really long/hard labor!

Now though? I'm just excited to be done, and fully welcome the thought of labor Maybe your mindset will change more as you get further along?
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  #3  
June 25th, 2013, 07:54 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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im just dreading the exhaustion, and i really want a doula but sam is so apprehensive after our last experience with a doula. i found one i really want to meet with, that is actually a student and will do it for free though, so im hoping if it doesnt cost him any money, he will open up to the idea.

my marriage was in a really rocky state when i had hunter - we almost got divorced when he was 2 months old - and i think i kind of associate all those feelings toward his labor (it was a really emotional experience anyway, not good emotional necessarily) i just dont want to go back to those parts of my brain (our marriage is exponentially better now, im just afraid that labor will bring back those feelings again)

and truthfully, i think im more scared of having 3 kids - and if i keep this one baking, i dont have to face that!
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Maverick Jude
December 9, 2013
5:20PM 8lb3oz 20.5"
Hospital water birth
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  #4  
June 25th, 2013, 08:40 PM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
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I was nervous about my stamina as well. Liam's was a 60hr labor and Kierans was not the labor I wanted (we thought he was breech when my water broke, as he was 2 days before), so I was a bit scared of doing the labor-for-days things with two other kids running around the house.

I was also terrified to push. Terrified. It was so intensely painful, like exploding internally, the other two times. I was so scared of it I actually asked my nurse, at 8cm dilated, with Jo if anyone had ever passed out while pushing. Lol!! She told me no at the time, and afterward said I scared the crap out of her because she had never had anyone ask her that question. (And I was basically hyperventilating about the circumstances at that point, so I can see the concern!)

And I was a little afraid of what life was going to be with three. And I was a little nervous that my mom wasn't going to be there (she was in Hawaii the week before I delivered) and my husband is NOT good in labor. So yeah, I think I know what you are feeling now. Not so much on the tough memories of a previous labor (although my labor memories of Kierans birth were NOT good), but on the nerves thing.

When it gets to be that time, I think GranolaMama is right, you will welcome it. No matter how long. Or hard. Or "triggering" of old memories. You absolutely can do it again.

Three is actually way easier than I thought, my labor was not a long-ordeal. Pushing was a breeze (and I did not pass out!). So most of those fears turned out unfounded. My midwife gave me a whole speech at one point in my labor about projecting and how women are masters at thinking of things that are so far in the future, we are barely able to see them. And how if we stayed in the moment, we would be so much better off. Blah, blah. But in this case, I think it's pretty good advice. Study up, arm yourself, and then just let the moments come along. I hope this birth is healing for you (and your husband)
GranolaMamaOf3 and ChicaChels like this.
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  #5  
June 25th, 2013, 09:28 PM
daneeleigh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have these same fears!!!! I was not going into birth number one. Honestly, I'm just terrified of having back labor again. Transition was painful but so short lived I'm not concerned. I wish I had a crystal ball lol. But we're doing it again and I'm trying to prep myself for birth. I've seriously spent the last 20 weeks forgetting I was pregnant lol.
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  #6  
June 26th, 2013, 06:47 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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im glad im not alone in my fears! i think i know that once it starts, ill be ready for it - because i definitely wont want to do THAT forever
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Maverick Jude
December 9, 2013
5:20PM 8lb3oz 20.5"
Hospital water birth
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  #7  
June 27th, 2013, 09:35 AM
Celry's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I must be crazy. I am sad that I only got to do it once. I labored with the twins, but had a csetion because one was breech. I was sad that I had got to labor so long with them and the not get to deliver vaginally. My labor with #3 was shorter, with lots of back labor. Not fun at the time, but it still was an amazing experience. I would love to have another baby just to experience that again, but we are done. Having 3 is a breeze, IMO, but I had two who were not easy the first time around and baby #3 is very easy.
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  #8  
June 27th, 2013, 01:33 PM
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This is my 11th. I remember 3, it was a long time ago. LOL.

I am really one of those crazy women who like labor and delivery (a lot). I miss it when its over. Perhaps thats why I keep doing it.

I have had two long labors, 36 and 42 hours, the 36 hrs was my first, made it all the way to a 9 and then they convinced me I should get an epi, gave me too much, stalled my labor and I went to sleep for 5 hours. The 42 hr labor was my 2nd, he was natural, I HATED the epi. His labor was long, I think because he was 10lbs 5 oz.

My other labors have been shorter, but generally anywhere from the 11-24 hr range, with the exception of #3 who was induced, and only 5hrs.

Anyway, I am looking forward to this one. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, go to the hospital (yuck) or just see how we are doing and stay home.
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  #9  
June 27th, 2013, 05:06 PM
JulieMc's Avatar Loving my babies. :)
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I think it's natural to be worried/nervous/etc. about each birth, even if you've done it before. I'm nervous this time around because it's twins, but I'm sure I would be even it I were just having one! I, fortunately, have not experienced a prolonged labor. My first was induced and about 7 hours (which I've been told is fast for an induction of a FTM), and my second was natural and just under 2 hours. My midwife told me after my 2nd that future births would probably be just as fast if not faster. I wonder if that is true (anyone know?), and am preparing for that scenario...but I'm hoping she did not jinx for me for a super long labor! The whole thing is a crap shoot each time, and this time it's going to be even more so for me with two to worry about. Eek! But..I am very excited! I think the actual labor and birth - although painful - is kind of fun in a way.

Right after my 2nd one of the nurses asked if I was ready for more babies....my husband replied for me that I want 11 kids. I smiled, because it was kind of true...not that I have a specific number in mind, but that I do want a large family and that birth certainly did not scare me off from having more. I'd do it again the next day if I could. LOL. Maybe that makes me weird.... ?
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  #10  
June 27th, 2013, 06:09 PM
GranolaMamaOf3's Avatar ~Heather~
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChicaChels View Post
im just dreading the exhaustion, and i really want a doula but sam is so apprehensive after our last experience with a doula. i found one i really want to meet with, that is actually a student and will do it for free though, so im hoping if it doesnt cost him any money, he will open up to the idea.

my marriage was in a really rocky state when i had hunter - we almost got divorced when he was 2 months old - and i think i kind of associate all those feelings toward his labor (it was a really emotional experience anyway, not good emotional necessarily) i just dont want to go back to those parts of my brain (our marriage is exponentially better now, im just afraid that labor will bring back those feelings again)

and truthfully, i think im more scared of having 3 kids - and if i keep this one baking, i dont have to face that!
That is a lot to process, and goes much deeper than just fear of labor. I can't say I "understand" because I've not been in your shoes, but your last sentence rings true for me too. I'm a bit nervous of going from 2-3 too, and even more the newborn stage. A part of me is SO excited to snuggle a sweet tiny baby, and then reality hits me and I remember how (frankly) horrible those first few months with DS2 were. He had awful reflux and colic. I had ppd... and the combination was something I hope to never have to face again! Seriously the darkest time of my life! So while I don't fear labor and birth as much now, I can totally relate to the fear of emotional "triggers". I'm just hoping and praying this time will be different.

(okay, I feel like I'm rambling. I hope that made sense)
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  #11  
June 30th, 2013, 08:17 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Both times when my labor was over I said something to the effect of "when can we do that again?" i never mind once it's over, but this time i just have some sort of weird thing going on around me. i also have tried for a water birth twice - and failed twice, so i think im putting a lot of pressure on myself to get a water birth this time. dumb! lol

and heather, your post totally made sense!
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Maverick Jude
December 9, 2013
5:20PM 8lb3oz 20.5"
Hospital water birth
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