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  #1  
August 1st, 2006, 04:51 PM
crunchymama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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How about if the new momma's let us know what their fears are so we can let them know what helped us....
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  #2  
August 2nd, 2006, 06:52 AM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Well, with a homebirth, I have only a few fears (far fewer than I would with a hospital birth ironically lol):
1 - Ill have a really long labor. A long labor wont bother me much really, but its the fear of having a long labor in which Im in hard labor for a LONG time. I think Ill have a hard time with it mentally.

2 - Im afraid of something happening afterwards. I have a low lying anterior placenta which I know doesnt pose any major problems, but my MW said that I have a slightly higher chance of not expelling the placenta as easily as I would if it were higher up where contractions are the hardest in the uterus. I know she has several methods for fixing this, but Im worried about having to be transported in a situation like that. Sure, Id rather be transported after the baby is born than before, but I still really really dont want them to admit me & keep me lol.

3 - Im afraid of having to transport period

4 - Aside from not wanting to be transported at all - Im afraid of there being an issue in the pushing stage that will require transporting - its probably the WORST time (in my head) to have to transport.

Lala...
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  #3  
August 2nd, 2006, 09:00 AM
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Even though I've done it before, I'm still afraid of the pain. And since my hubby wants me to get an epidural I'm afraid if I ask for drugs in a moment of weakness he will jump on that instead of helping me stay strong with my decision to do it natural.
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  #4  
August 2nd, 2006, 09:35 AM
CTK3989's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am afraid of the pain. How can I handle going through a natural labor with my first child?


Chelci
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  #5  
August 2nd, 2006, 09:47 AM
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Quote:
I am afraid of the pain. How can I handle going through a natural labor with my first child?


Chelci[/b]
aww.. you can do it!! dont look at it like pain. it isnt like stubbing your toe, or closing your hand in the door. this is the birth of your baby!!! our bodies were designed for it.. and it is an amazing feeling~ get strength in the creation of it all~
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  #6  
August 2nd, 2006, 10:17 AM
justjaQ's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
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Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
Quote:
I am afraid of the pain. How can I handle going through a natural labor with my first child?


Chelci[/b]
aww.. you can do it!! dont look at it like pain. it isnt like stubbing your toe, or closing your hand in the door. this is the birth of your baby!!! our bodies were designed for it.. and it is an amazing feeling~ get strength in the creation of it all~
[/b][/quote]


adding... knowing that the pain is for such a wonderful purpose helps, too. doesn't make it hurt any less, but it's a great thing to keep in mind. and knowing that it's just one day in life. one contraction at a time. one contraction closer to the end. maybe even your last one! just take it as it comes, and try your very best to relax, and realise that it CAN be done.

best wishes/luck.

and belly rubs
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  #7  
August 2nd, 2006, 10:31 AM
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No one will tell you it won't hurt. My best advice is to go into it TOTALLY educated and prepared. I know you don't know what to expect, no first time mom does, but at least knowing all you can helps SO MUCH!
I was in labor for almost 21 hours, only the last hour was pretty tough. During the earlier stages ( in my experience) You get a break between contractions. Funny, but my mom was watching football and I was sitting with her, I would have a contraction and moan and groan and breathe then I would be fine and say "pass the remote, I hate football" she laughed at me. You can find different positions that help, you can walk, you can cry if you want, I actually felt the best pain reliever was to get in the shower with my hubby. The water was a great distraction. Soaking in a tub didn't help me too much. And you know in your mind, it isn't going to last forever!
I can't WAIT to do it again, knowing what I do, and being more aware!
Oh and SLEEP NOW or forever hold your peace! LOL
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  #8  
August 2nd, 2006, 11:34 AM
illinoismommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm scared that I won't be able to keep it together through the pain and will breakdown and not want to go on and ask for drugs. I'm scared of another 4th degree tear and recovery.
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  #9  
August 2nd, 2006, 03:15 PM
CTK3989's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thank you ladies! What books can you suggest that I read? I really like the idea of the Bradley Method but I can't avoid the classes.


Chelci
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  #10  
August 2nd, 2006, 03:23 PM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way & Husband Coached Childbirth - also have your husband read the books, especially Husband Coached Childbirth.

Try to find some other couples that have successfully done the Bradley Method & both you & your Dh talk to them.

Lala...
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  #11  
August 2nd, 2006, 03:38 PM
CTK3989's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks. I guess since I am 5 months I should go pick those books up soon.

Chelci
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  #12  
August 2nd, 2006, 04:17 PM
wonderfullymade's Avatar Doula & MW Apprentice
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Quote:
I'm scared that I won't be able to keep it together through the pain and will breakdown and not want to go on and ask for drugs. I'm scared of another 4th degree tear and recovery.[/b]
It is very common for women who have prepared for natural childbirth to 'break down' during transition - and being prepared for that and having someone there who knows this and advocates for you will help you. You are created for this amazing event. Your body is built to bring life through you, into the world.
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  #13  
August 6th, 2006, 09:55 PM
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I'm afraid of nurses or doctors interfering and stressing me out. I will be in a midwife facility though, so I should be alright, I am going to start getting care there and asking questions, so I will be able to talk about my birth plans beforehand.
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  #14  
August 7th, 2006, 05:06 AM
Frelle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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my biggest fears were around transporting, period, really. I have had one hospital birth and 2 homebirths. I love homebirthing, and the closest hospital to me is the most notorious for not listening to you and intervention crazy. My midwife is a homebirth midwife and does not have priviledges at the hospital, so she wouldnt be coming with me, and that was scary to think about, too.

With my first child, which I had in a hospital, my fears were that I would be in labor too long to handle it without drugs, and that I would be unprepared if the doctor was going to try to manage my labor, tell em I wasnt going fast enough and suggest pitocin, etc etc. And having a c section for any reason scared me.

Managing the pain was made more easy by attending Bradley Classes. THe most helpful things there were in being taugh about differnet kinds of relazation techniques, and us practicing a few each weeek to find out what I best responded to, so during labor, DH knew to focus on caressing my arms and face, and having music in the background, etc. And learning how to relax my body, that if my vocalizations were high, rather tahn low and moaning, it signified that my body was tense, therefore my uterus was also tense.

Taking the Bradley classes helped me a lot with my freight train delivery at home with my last baby. I really needed to manage the pain, I dilated 1 to 10 cm in an hour, and the contractions were more monstrous than any I'd ever had. I was so glad to have had the Bradley training!
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  #15  
August 8th, 2006, 10:12 AM
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Some of my biggest fears are:

- that I won't have support while I am laboring. Dh is great, but I wonder if he will really know how to be helpful and not annoy me. When he gets nervous and trys to help, he talks too much and that may SERIOUSLY bug me! He did some of it while I was in labor with DD. I had to just ignore him.

- that I will give in and ask for drugs like with DD, before I even get to push. AND that my baby will be a 9 lb baby like Dh was!

- that the nurses and midwife won't be supportive, since I have no control over which midwife will be delivering me.
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