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Since When Is Natural A Bad Thing?


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
May 25th, 2007, 07:06 AM
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This is our first child and DH and I have been planning for a natural birth experience as soon as we found out we were pregnant. I'm obviously nervous about it but absolutely know I can do this without pain medications and I have no doubts. But it's like as soon as I tell someone I don't plan on having medication they all look at me like I'm nuts! Nearly everyone has told me not to set myself up for the disappointment because I'll definitely be taking the meds once labor starts. I know that I won't and it's so frustrating.

I'm just so grateful for a supportive DH and mom who will both be in the room with me. I know they'll help keep me focused.
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  #2  
May 25th, 2007, 07:39 AM
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Quote:
This is our first child and DH and I have been planning for a natural birth experience as soon as we found out we were pregnant. I'm obviously nervous about it but absolutely know I can do this without pain medications and I have no doubts. But it's like as soon as I tell someone I don't plan on having medication they all look at me like I'm nuts! Nearly everyone has told me not to set myself up for the disappointment because I'll definitely be taking the meds once labor starts. I know that I won't and it's so frustrating.

I'm just so grateful for a supportive DH and mom who will both be in the room with me. I know they'll help keep me focused. [/b]
Honestly, I don't know why but people are so brainwashed when it comes to birth.

They keep telling my gf "Don't try to be a hero!" "You won't get a medal for going natural!"

I'm about to start spouting off the deaths and injuries from epidurals if these people don't back off.
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  #3  
May 25th, 2007, 07:48 AM
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Quote:
This is our first child and DH and I have been planning for a natural birth experience as soon as we found out we were pregnant. I'm obviously nervous about it but absolutely know I can do this without pain medications and I have no doubts. But it's like as soon as I tell someone I don't plan on having medication they all look at me like I'm nuts! Nearly everyone has told me not to set myself up for the disappointment because I'll definitely be taking the meds once labor starts. I know that I won't and it's so frustrating.

I'm just so grateful for a supportive DH and mom who will both be in the room with me. I know they'll help keep me focused. [/b]
Buahaha!!! I know exactly how you feel. I started a debate about this in the debate area when I was pregnant. I remade a new debate on it a few weeks ago. I HATE HATE HATE how other people feel it's their place to throw all the "bad possibilities" in you face as if you are the most uneducated ignorant person in the world. Royally peeves me off!! LOL!!
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  #4  
May 25th, 2007, 08:17 AM
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Buahaha!!! I know exactly how you feel. I started a debate about this in the debate area when I was pregnant. I remade a new debate on it a few weeks ago. I HATE HATE HATE how other people feel it's their place to throw all the "bad possibilities" in you face as if you are the most uneducated ignorant person in the world. Royally peeves me off!! LOL!![/b]
Yeah, it's not like natural is some new age crap that no one is sure of. I mean it's what our bodies are meant to do! I totally understand why people choose meds and I support them in their decisions. So I don't understand why people can't support ours. Ugh!
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  #5  
May 25th, 2007, 09:22 AM
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Women condition themselves to believe that they "can't" do it without meds, so when other women start taking a different route it makes them question themselves and whether or not they really "can't". I actually respect a woman more when she just flat out says she doesn't want to feel the pain because that is honest and isn't an attempt to make an expectant mother think that she "can't" go natural either, y/k? What bothers me the most is when some women who have had medicated births act like we are only going natural to show off and stick it to them . I've already told dh and my midwife to deny me anesthesia, no matter what I say, even if I am writhing in agony; I CAN hande it and need them to keep on reminding me that an epidural will bring me one step closer to a repeat c-section...to me it simply isn't worth that risk just to take the edge off of labor.
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  #6  
May 25th, 2007, 12:00 PM
Ms.Michelle
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Quote:
This is our first child and DH and I have been planning for a natural birth experience as soon as we found out we were pregnant. I'm obviously nervous about it but absolutely know I can do this without pain medications and I have no doubts. But it's like as soon as I tell someone I don't plan on having medication they all look at me like I'm nuts! Nearly everyone has told me not to set myself up for the disappointment because I'll definitely be taking the meds once labor starts. I know that I won't and it's so frustrating.

I'm just so grateful for a supportive DH and mom who will both be in the room with me. I know they'll help keep me focused. [/b]
I know people are so unsupportive sometimes.. You just have to start working on your "are you nuts?" faze when they start talking about drugs as being the answer.

Quote:
Honestly, I don't know why but people are so brainwashed when it comes to birth.

They keep telling my gf "Don't try to be a hero!" "You won't get a medal for going natural!"

I'm about to start spouting off the deaths and injuries from epidurals if these people don't back off. [/b]
No kidding! The other day in my DDC someone totally cut the women who are having natural births but then had the nerve to be offended when told if given the choice, the last place on earth they wanted to be was in hospital giving birth. I was so happy to read that.

Quote:
Women condition themselves to believe that they "can't" do it without meds, so when other women start taking a different route it makes them question themselves and whether or not they really "can't". I actually respect a woman more when she just flat out says she doesn't want to feel the pain because that is honest and isn't an attempt to make an expectant mother think that she "can't" go natural either, y/k? What bothers me the most is when some women who have had medicated births act like we are only going natural to show off and stick it to them . I've already told dh and my midwife to deny me anesthesia, no matter what I say, even if I am writhing in agony; I CAN hande it and need them to keep on reminding me that an epidural will bring me one step closer to a repeat c-section...to me it simply isn't worth that risk just to take the edge off of labor.[/b]
ITA! I really feel like this is where we are all lacking from the medical community. I know they try, but real support is the key. If we are truely armed with support, coping tools and understanding why then the need to "take the edge off?" People rely on the wrong tools, like drugs, because it's been done that way for so long. I hope in the next fifty years, we see a real shift in attitude here.
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  #7  
May 25th, 2007, 03:22 PM
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I totally agree. I don't why people have to think you are trying to be special by giving birth without drugs. It's a choice we all make. Some of us don't want the drugs and others want to have an epidural to help with the pain. I don't hold it against any woman that chooses to take some form of drugs during her delivery. I personally have chosen not to. I gave birth to my first 3 and didn't have anything given to me. I am now carrying my 4th and I do the same. It's just my choice and I feel more comfortable with natural childbirth.
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  #8  
June 1st, 2007, 09:20 PM
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This is soooo sad!!! I've been getting the same bs from people. They laugh and say I'll cave once the pain starts... How are we different from the millions of woman who have birthed naturally for thousands of years? We were meant to give birth this way, not by sticking needles in our spines, (ouch!!! that scares me more than NB!!!!) being confined to a bed, not allowing our bodies to do what they need to naturally. And not to mention the fact that woman have been giving birth in hospitals for only 60 yrs!!!!! So how are we being unsafe? We are doing things the old tried tested and true way, not some "new age" way (this is what I consider new age, as what most say is "new age" is really old and has been around forever).

Sorry just got me off, I went through this topic at work today and it ticked me off.
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  #9  
July 15th, 2007, 02:27 AM
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Natural is never a bad thing!!!!
I get the same looks and comments when I tell people I'm going natural (including my new ob, she's pregnant too), but then I tell them that not every woman tolerates the same amount of pain, and some go with pain meds, and that's ok too for them, cause I'll be going natural AGAIN, I've done it Twice before.
And then they look at me like wow she's strong gal...
It doesn't matter, you have a grat plan and a wonderful hubby there to help you, most likely you will do it, just focus on the end result.
Do not let those people bother you with those comments and bring you down, they might be just gealous that they couldn't do it themselves.
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  #10  
July 15th, 2007, 10:56 AM
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I can accept the poeple who say they want the epidural. Period. They think it's better, blah, blah, blah. What really frustrates me is the first-timers who have the attitude of, "Well, I'd like to do it without drugs, but I'm just going to go with the flow, see how things are, etc." They don't make a birth plan, they don't have any strong feelings one way or another, and I'll bet most of them end up with an epidural and a pitocin drip because they don't understand that if you want a natural birth in a hospital then you have to be willing to FIGHT for it! I think part of the reason they have this attitude is because of the people telling their horror stories and telling them they can't do it. Why can't they just say, good for you, I hope you make it???? This is my fourth, I've never had an epidural, and people have always thought I was a little crazy for going as natural as possible. And I'm sick of geting the comment of "You're so strong!" Think of how much better these women would feel about themselves if they got through it without the drugs. Many seem to be kinda guilty about it. This time I'm having mine at home, so now they think I'm crazier than ever, cause you know the hospital is the safest place to be. Another annoying one is "Well, I'd like to have a midwife/birthing center/homebirth, but this is my first, so I'm going with an OB and the hospital." One midwife made the statement (and though it's a little harsh it's not far off point) that is like saying, "Well, I'm ready to have sex, but I think I want to be raped first" Ouch. Really though I just wish people would get informed, read, go to classes, instead of just believeing what their OB and others around them tell them, you know? Think for themselves and make an intelligent decision that they know WHY they are making!
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  #11  
July 15th, 2007, 12:27 PM
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Quote:
I can accept the poeple who say they want the epidural. Period. They think it's better, blah, blah, blah. What really frustrates me is the first-timers who have the attitude of, "Well, I'd like to do it without drugs, but I'm just going to go with the flow, see how things are, etc." They don't make a birth plan, they don't have any strong feelings one way or another, and I'll bet most of them end up with an epidural and a pitocin drip because they don't understand that if you want a natural birth in a hospital then you have to be willing to FIGHT for it! I think part of the reason they have this attitude is because of the people telling their horror stories and telling them they can't do it. Why can't they just say, good for you, I hope you make it???? This is my fourth, I've never had an epidural, and people have always thought I was a little crazy for going as natural as possible. And I'm sick of geting the comment of "You're so strong!" Think of how much better these women would feel about themselves if they got through it without the drugs. Many seem to be kinda guilty about it. This time I'm having mine at home, so now they think I'm crazier than ever, cause you know the hospital is the safest place to be. Another annoying one is "Well, I'd like to have a midwife/birthing center/homebirth, but this is my first, so I'm going with an OB and the hospital." One midwife made the statement (and though it's a little harsh it's not far off point) that is like saying, "Well, I'm ready to have sex, but I think I want to be raped first" Ouch. Really though I just wish people would get informed, read, go to classes, instead of just believeing what their OB and others around them tell them, you know? Think for themselves and make an intelligent decision that they know WHY they are making![/b]



Sigh. This post just made my day! Great post.

The part that I bolded happened time after time in my DDC. I remember people starting threads around the 20 week mark about birth plans, childbirth classes, etc. The majority of the threads had overwhelming responses like "I don't think that birth plans are necessary because you never know what's going to happen" or "I don't think that childbirth classes are useful..Just go with the flow." I remember posting something to the effect that it at least wouldn't HURT to express their wishes in writing or take a class so that they have some idea of what to expect. That was ignored, of course.

Most of these people ended up induced with an epidural or just with an epidural +/- a c-section and acted like their OB, Anesthesiologist and hospital saved their life with the induction/epidural/c-section (yes, in some cases it may have been true, but not in most from what they described........). They went into the HOSPITAL with NO PLAN and actually thought that they were going to get out without issues. SIGH.
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  #12  
July 15th, 2007, 05:59 PM
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What makes it even worse is when you have a midwife laugh at your birth plan and call it a "wishful thinking list", the throw it out right in front of you. I had that with my first. She made it seems like that because I was a first time mum I didn't know anything. I had done my research, I knew what I wanted and I fully believe her attitude was the straw that broke the camels back as far as my wanting a natural birth was concerned (or maybe it was when she rolled her eyes at my doula). I was fully informed and I had done my research. We came fully prepared and knew what we wanted. Pregnant women need support and education. Personally I think this should be included in sex ed in school. We received no added information from the hospital at all, we had to find it all out for ourselves.

edited coz what jassie included made no sense
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  #13  
July 16th, 2007, 07:51 AM
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I hope I'm not going into this naively but I feel very confident with my OB choice and with the hospital I will give birth in. At our first appointment I told my OB that I wanted to have a natural birth with no meds and she said she fully supported that and even suggested a doula and hypnobirthing. I was thrilled that she was so supportive but was still a bit nervous about the other doctors in the practice who could potentially deliver my baby until our last appointment. I went with a whole list of questions about them and the hospital practices. She assured me that every OB in the practice fully supports natural births and they would not pressure me to do anything I did not want. She recommended I do a birth plan and told me to get a rough draft together and we could go over anything I had questions about at my next appointment. She also told me that the hospital has a shower in every room and even has a few rooms with a tub and asked me if I wanted one of those rooms. Of course, I jumped on that opportunity. Hopefully, I'll be lucky enough to get one. Also she said the hospital offers birthing balls but I could bring my own if I wanted to.

I'm very excited and feel like my OB really is on my side.
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  #14  
July 16th, 2007, 08:25 AM
Ms.Michelle
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Flipper, I can't tell you how awesome I think your ob/hospital is!!! I would like to see that attitude in the future, if not for my second birth, for my kids births (my grandkids.)

tygrss, as usual, we are on the same page!

Quote:
Another annoying one is "Well, I'd like to have a midwife/birthing center/homebirth, but this is my first, so I'm going with an OB and the hospital." One midwife made the statement (and though it's a little harsh it's not far off point) that is like saying, "Well, I'm ready to have sex, but I think I want to be raped first" Ouch. Really though I just wish people would get informed, read, go to classes, instead of just believeing what their OB and others around them tell them, you know? Think for themselves and make an intelligent decision that they know WHY they are making![/b]




Oh my word!! That just made my day!
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  #15  
July 16th, 2007, 10:10 AM
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Wow, flipper, I've never gotten that respone to NB questions. The response I've usually gotten is a longsuffering sigh and a look that says, "oh no, one of those." Then they proceed to tell me about how birth is unpredictable and you have to be willing to make some concessions, blah, blah, blah, like I'm an idiot and would refuse to do anything if we had a cord prolapse or something. I can tell you OB's like that are few and far between. I hope she is really like that when the big day comes. Oh, and I would ask her about the tubs. All the hospitals around here that have them won't let you in them after your water has broken (you know, when you start to need pain relief the most!) and they are very against water birth. No way they'd allow that. So, you may want to ask when the tub would be available to you.
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