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Feeling really frustrated


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
July 21st, 2007, 11:00 AM
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I'm feeling really frustrated with my medical community here in Omaha. Homebirths are illegal (well, for anyone attending a homebirth it's illegal I should say). There are only two groups of midwives here. One group here in Omaha, but they are actually really leaning toward medical interventions (they work for the doctors, not the other way around) and there is a group in Lincoln (about an hour away) that I could go to and have heard great stuff about. The problem is that my dh doesn't want to be driving on notoriously horrible roads in the middle of winter (I'm due the 24th of Dec) with me in labor or for doing weekly checks that time of year. You'd think I'd be able to find at least one Dr. who supports natural childbirth here in Omaha, but seriously it's like everyone thinks your nuts and going against the system for wanting no interventions. I'm not high risk, I've had a great successful, natural delivery before, but I seriously was battling it out with my last dr. (hence the search for someone new) the entire time I was in the hospital. It actually stalled my labor every time he came in to argue with me about something because he stressed me out. I didn't even get to the hospital until I was 7 cm dialated last time. I'm just feeling like I can't win here. I did find one Dr. here Monte Mathews whose well known in the natural birth community for letting you do whatever you want, but seriously this guy doesn't listen to a thing I'm saying when I go in for check ups, plus the hospital he delivers at I really don't like. I guess I'm just venting...I really don't know what I'm going to do....ughhh...
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  #2  
July 21st, 2007, 12:19 PM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I totally feel your frustration & face a similar challenge in my area as well.

I had my first with an epidural in a hospital & desperately wanted something different the second time. I ended up doing an illegal homebirth with a lay (underground) midwife. I sought care through an OB & just accidentally-on-purpose didnt make it to the hospital on time. I only sought care through an OB b/c if something did happen & I did make the decision to go to the hospital I knew I would be facing a huge battle walking in and being labeled "that" woman - u know the one that didnt seek prenatal care, who tried to go unassisted at home, and know was a failure.

So if something did go wrong - or was headed inthat direction - i was just going to go to the hospital & act like I was none the wiser - like Id just been slowly laboring at home.

If you cant find a lay midwife or an "underground " midwife (talk to people - ask around - you may be very surprised - chiropractors are a good source of info btw! )... and youre not willing to go totally unassisted (just you and hubby) then you may want to consider just waiting until the last minute to go in. You can go to the hospital as early as youd like - but walk around the hospital - wait in the waiting room - hang out. Lock yourself in a closet. Ive seriously known people to do this! lol. They cant force you to be admittd, and they have no rights over you when youre not evenadmitted. When you're sure youre in transition - walk into L&D for admission. By that point - theres nothing they can do. Hire a doula if possible. Have your husband police the room - keep anyone negative OUT - he can ask the doctor to only speak to him outside the room to shelter you.

((((hugs))))

Its very frustrating & i so totally can empathize with you. I am so glad we chose to do a lay midwife homebirth - I look back and I know I would have stressed in a major way if Id have been in the hospital & I too was worried about going too soon & too late - I have fast labors & they go from nothing to 90 in no time flat.


Good luck.
Lala...
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  #4  
July 22nd, 2007, 08:35 AM
UrbanMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm not sure if this will help, but here's a site you could try to help find a MW in NE.

Link
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  #5  
July 23rd, 2007, 06:37 AM
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Thanks for the ideas and support. Like I said, I just feel like I have to compromise either someone who'll listen to me or someone who'll support natural childbirth. Thanks for the link to the NE Midwives website, but I'm actually a member there to and they wont tell any of the midwives names to protect them (since it is illegal here)...just I'll just have to research some more....
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  #6  
July 24th, 2007, 02:29 AM
MrsPil's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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You could always have an unassisted homebirth, it's not illegal anywhere and is (IMHO) a great way to have a baby!
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  #7  
July 24th, 2007, 06:20 AM
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I love the idea, but my husbands not quite ready for that one. He's too afraid of the whatif's that could happen (even though we litterally live 5 mins. away from a hospital), so as of right now it's out of the question (although I do have anoter 20 weeks to work on him!). Thanks for the input though!
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  #8  
July 30th, 2007, 07:22 AM
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Quote:
I love the idea, but my husbands not quite ready for that one. He's too afraid of the whatif's that could happen (even though we litterally live 5 mins. away from a hospital), so as of right now it's out of the question (although I do have anoter 20 weeks to work on him!). Thanks for the input though![/b]
So I talked with my dh this morning and gave him the option of either me doing a homebirth (to eliminate driving ) or going to Lincoln to deliver with the midwives there in the hospital. At first my dh was like hold up, but then shocked the heck out of me when he said alright, do whatever you feel the most comfortable with, you've done way more research than I have. He did say if I choose homebirth he'd have to do a lot of studying to be comfortable with it. I'm so excited. And shocked. and excited. Did I mention that? Just thought I'd share the good news. Now I've got phone calls to make!
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  #9  
July 30th, 2007, 09:26 AM
Husher's Avatar B & E complete me.
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Quote:
So I talked with my dh this morning and gave him the option of either me doing a homebirth (to eliminate driving ) or going to Lincoln to deliver with the midwives there in the hospital. At first my dh was like hold up, but then shocked the heck out of me when he said alright, do whatever you feel the most comfortable with, you've done way more research than I have. He did say if I choose homebirth he'd have to do a lot of studying to be comfortable with it. I'm so excited. And shocked. and excited. Did I mention that? Just thought I'd share the good news. Now I've got phone calls to make![/b]
That's GREAT news!! Congrats!!
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  #10  
July 31st, 2007, 12:38 AM
Lotsakids's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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That's awesome news!! WOO HOO!!
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