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  #1  
August 21st, 2008, 10:44 AM
boysmama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Florida
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A very close friend of mine is pregnant . I'm happy for her because she's been trying for 3 years to have #3 (it took her 5 years to get pregnant with #2). Se had 2 early m/c s along the way. At the same time I'm feeling a little sad . We've been trying together for the past 2 years, and we were supporting each other, especially when faced with comments from others. Now I'm the only one TTC in our circle of friends. It feels really lonely

Have any of you been in the same situation (duh! I know many have) where you feel really happy for someone, but really sad that you're not pregnant with them like you were dreaming? The worst part is that it will draw people's attention again to ttc, and they will start asking questions and making comments about me not expecting yet.
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  #2  
August 21st, 2008, 11:28 AM
BeckyM's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Sherry, I've been in that exact situation as I'm sure many of our group has been. You are so happy for them, but at the same time feel like you just got kicked in the stomach and wonder "when is it going to be my time?". Hang in there, that's all we can do, and know that our time is coming!!! And as always, you can always vent away to us - we all understand!!!!
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  #3  
August 21st, 2008, 01:03 PM
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Sherry!!! I know exactly how you're feeling.....it happened to me last week. And, I was in a discouraged mood to begin with when I heard the news that friends of our are expecting and they'd only been trying a couple of months. Vent away all you need, we are all here for you!!

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  #4  
August 21st, 2008, 03:00 PM
boysmama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks ladies. Your support means a lot to me. Up until today I've been fine with the whole thing. Even accepting the fact that I may never have another child. I was starting to focus more on my 2 boys and not stress much about TTC, but when she told me today, everything changed. I really wasn't expecting to be this much upset, especially that several other friends have gotten preg and had babies since I started TTC and I was happy for them and not really upset then. I guess it's because she was struggling too and now EVEN she is pregnant. OTOH this should give me hope. It will happen when and if it is meant to be *sigh*

I'm truly grateful for this wonderful group. I hope that each one of us will get her BFP really soon.
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  #5  
August 21st, 2008, 03:26 PM
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Location: Australia
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I hope you get your bfp soon. I have a friend the same age as me (34) ttc#2 for 18 months. this year they have heard of TEN pregnancies (no exaggeration) within their circle of friends. they were okay at first but as more people get pregnant and they don't, they said it's like a knife in the guts to hear another announcement. On the other side of the coin, I had a very upset friend not wanting to tell them she was pregnant because they had said the 'knife in the guts' comment to her and she didn't want to hurt them. I hope it happens for you all SOON!

boysmama how long have you been ttc #3? did you have any trouble with your ds's? (sorry i don't know your history - i hope that's not being too nosy).
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  #6  
August 21st, 2008, 03:36 PM
Denise66's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: New York
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I have been there many times.

One time we had been trying for a few years to get pregnant. I had been on clomid but it was taken longer than the first time. I was so discouraged. Then at church a friend announced she was pregnant. I had to leave the santuary. I was crying and so upset. She hadn't been trying long at all. It just didn't seem fair.

One other time I had just had a m/c. I was struggling so bad afterwards with depression and wanting another baby so much. Two weeks after the m/c I had to go to a baby shower for my cousin who was pregnant. Her baby was born in April. Then that August she was pregnant again. I was a mess. Right around this same time a friend of mine who also had a m/c the same time I did got pregnant really easily. For me it was years before I got pregnant again.

I so know how you are feeling. You are happy for them but there is this sadness inside that only those who have been there can understand.

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  #7  
August 21st, 2008, 03:46 PM
safeway0027's Avatar Super Mommy
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Sherry, hang in there. I know it's hard and sometime it seems so unfair why we don't get preggo and everyone else around us are. You are happy for them but inside you just want to scream "why not me too". I feel the same way lately too...thanks goodies I have you ladies to vent or just lean on for support. You will always have us so vent away we understand. Hope you get soon
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  #8  
August 21st, 2008, 04:01 PM
boysmama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Whynot: I've been off the pill for 2 years now. With DS#1 it took me 10 months to get pregnant. DS#2 I got off the minipill for 3 months while breastfeeding DS#1, and then once I weaned i got pregnant the next month. I have had some issues the past 2 years (uterine polyps, for which I had 2 hysteroscopies + D&Cs, the last one last May, and also Ovarian cysts).

Again, thank you all. I'm already feeling much better.
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  #9  
August 21st, 2008, 04:13 PM
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This past year I had to endure both of my SIL's being pregnant at the same exact time.......it stunk royally. Left out of pictures b/c they want 'the two bellies', 'oh when are you Kaitie?' , 'oh how sweet, they're expecting at the same time', and now it's all the baby talk...'look at them together'...oh it's endless.
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  #10  
August 24th, 2008, 01:28 AM
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Whynot: I've been off the pill for 2 years now. With DS#1 it took me 10 months to get pregnant. DS#2 I got off the minipill for 3 months while breastfeeding DS#1, and then once I weaned i got pregnant the next month. I have had some issues the past 2 years (uterine polyps, for which I had 2 hysteroscopies + D&Cs, the last one last May, and also Ovarian cysts).

Thanks for letting me know your history. I hope you get your bfp really soon.

Quote:
This past year I had to endure both of my SIL's being pregnant at the same exact time.......it stunk royally. Left out of pictures b/c they want 'the two bellies', 'oh when are you Kaitie?' , 'oh how sweet, they're expecting at the same time', and now it's all the baby talk...'look at them together'...oh it's endless.[/b]
That would be really hard. I was with friends wed night - one 39 weeks, one 32 weeks - other friends asked them to have their photo taken with their bumps together...and the friend that has been trying unsuccessfully for 18 months was there. all i could think was, that it felt weird EVEN FOR ME, (WAITING to TTC...but just feeling a bit weird like for a second i wished it was me even though we're not trying)...so i can only imagine how my friend felt/how you girls feel to be in this situation. I hate that everyone questions you ladies about it too. I guess I've learnt over the years from friends who've had problems, not to make assumptions about people having children and I do my best not to ask ttc questions - unless they bring it up and want to talk.
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  #11  
August 24th, 2008, 06:09 AM
CaseyM's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I know where you are coming from too. When DH and I got married last year, we decided that we were going to stop the BCP when we got back from the honeymoon. Before the wedding, a close friend at work and I had been talking and she was going to stop hers too, in hopes that we could go through this together. When I got home from the honeymoon, and back to work, she told me (with hesitation, cause she knew I'd be upset) that she was already prego. Then a few weeks later another co-worker, then another then another and then another. 2 of hem have since left the job, but the other 3 have all already had their babies and here I was stuck at the store, covering for 1 of them while she was out. The hardest part was that I was usually the person to look for when it was time to throw someone a party for something...ie going away, marriage, babies, etc... So I had to put together 3 baby showers for my co-workers. That was hard. But I got through it with the help of friends and family.
I am also the oldest of 5 kids, with 3 sisters, all of who have kids. So I am constantly getting the "When are you?"

Just keep talking with someone so you don't keep it all bottled inside. That wouldn't be good. Added stress will come of it. Just vent to us or to someone very close that will understand. And hopefully we'll all get our BFP very very soon!!!!!
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  #12  
August 24th, 2008, 08:56 AM
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KDD KDD is offline
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I think we've all been there. Friends of ours announced their pregnancy right after our loss (which they didn't know about), their EDD is within a week of what mine would have been. Another dear friend of mine got pg her first month of trying for her third. At the same time I'm happy for them, but bummed out for me.

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