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How do u handle this?


Forum: Trying to Conceive Older Members

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  #1  
September 1st, 2008, 07:02 AM
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I am so frustrated right now! I am at my fertile time, and really want to BD! But bf is not in the mood and has not been all weekend. He is just too tired. He knew I was mad when we went to bed Saturday night and just said sorry. I know its not his fault that he works hard and is titred but sheesh I am working 2 jobs right now to get some extra money for the "baby fund" I want to start up. I just do nto know what do do. I want to start trying NOW!! And hes like lets wait till November or December to start when things slow down at work for me. Im like ummm I may still be working 2 jobs so it wont slow down for me. BLAH! I am just so frustrated. I slept horribly last night cuz thats all I could think about. I know others have been through this so how did you deal with it with out upsetting your SO or hurting his feelings?
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  #2  
September 1st, 2008, 08:50 AM
Lisak52's Avatar Super Mommy
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Been there hon!

Just be patient.try to sneak it on him.LOL.
Do something you know he can not resist to get the ball rollin.

Hope things work out for you!
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  #3  
September 1st, 2008, 08:56 AM
BeckyM's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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what Lisa suggests. Unfortunately I've been there too, and it is so frustrating.
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  #4  
September 1st, 2008, 09:45 AM
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Thanks ladies. Hopefully I can get some BDing in tonight, but not counting on it. Maybe next month I can romance him if it does not work out this weekend.
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  #5  
September 1st, 2008, 10:04 AM
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I've been there too, hun....more times than I care to admit to. So..........

Option A: Seduce him. Put on a sexy teddy and be ready when he comes home, or cook dinner in it.

Option B: Find his sweet spot. DH's is (and he'd kill me if he knew I told anybody) at his inner thigh right next to his "buddies". Something to do with the nerves there. But, even if he's dead tired, if I can get him there, he's like putty in my hands.

Option C: Cry. I know it makes him feel guilty, but if both of you truly want a baby, it does take two.

Good Luck!! I hope you can get some BDing in this week.
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  #6  
September 1st, 2008, 10:14 AM
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I think al ot of it too is his parents are really pushing us to have a baby so that too is stressing him out. They came to Red Robin on Saturday (my second job) for free dinner and his step dad said to me you guys are gonna still try for a baby right? We have already bought some stuff just in case and I am building a wagon. I was like uhhhh lets wait to buy stuff cuz its supposed to be bad luck to buy so early. But then he said well we see stuff we buy it for anyone who has a baby soon. I guess at dinner they were asking him about it too when we will start trying. He was mad about it but I told him they mean no harm. They want a grand child (they have one in Cali) that is close by. I said they just want us to be happy with a baby and of course they are being selfish (in a good way) and want that grand baby sooner then later. He said he understands that totally and kinda calmed down after I explained it.

I think I wont tell him my fertile times. And just seduce him. He does not know I am fertile now so maybe just maybe I can get him tonight I think if he knows he will feel too much pressure (at least for now since hes stressed) and I will say lets just have FUN!!
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  #7  
September 1st, 2008, 10:39 AM
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It's amazing how a guy can get performance anxiety!! So, it's best not to tell him. But, eventually, he'll figure it out. I hope he understands that it may not happen right off the bat and that it could take months for it to happen. If you two ever talk about things like that you may want to casually bring that up to him. It's like a 25% chance each month for a young, healthy woman to conceive. Once you hit 30 that percentage rate drops and I read recently that once you hit 40 (like me) it's dropped to 5% each month.

Good Luck!! I hope you can get him tonight!!
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  #8  
September 1st, 2008, 12:00 PM
safeway0027's Avatar Super Mommy
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My dh is the same the more I tell him we have to bd, it never seems to happien the way I wanted to. My dh had it in his head that it should only take one bd and that should do it....I gets so mad at him sometime that we would at it then no bding at all sometime. He is getting better this month. What can I said if we can get preggo without men then we would...it sure would be a lot easier and we know what is needed to be done. I guess since we needs them we will try to be understanding and hope that they will come around and do what we needs them to do. GL hope you can get bd in today. Get him really drunk and then take advantage of him hehe
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  #9  
September 1st, 2008, 04:53 PM
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I guess I'm lucky. DH has never refused me!
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  #10  
September 1st, 2008, 05:32 PM
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We talked today during lunch. We went to Applebees and he asked why I seemed so sad lately. I told him honestly I want a baby sooner then later. And him not understand makes me sad. We ended up having a great talk over lunch. He even started talking about what room we would have the nursery in, how we could use the bonus room as both a nursery and playroom. He also talked how we would decorate and that we could try working opposite shifts so we would not have to worry about daycare. Soooooo it was nice. I think tonight I am just going to tell him I want sex! I wont tell him its supposed to be my fertile time. I also mentioned it could take months to get preggo so I would rather start now then wait. If we got lucky and got preggo right away thats fine with both of us.

So we will see. We had a nice relaxing day, so I am hoping I can just say Hey lets have sex!
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  #11  
September 1st, 2008, 05:48 PM
CaseyM's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well I have to say that I've never had an issue with DH not wanting to BD. It is usually the other way around. With my arthritis and getting so tired so easily, sometimes I just don't want to even when I know it's time. But I think some of it is because it's becoming a chore to me. This happened when I was married before. We had tried for 4 years to have a baby and it never happened. We now know why, but then I didn't. So it got to the point that I just didn't want to do anything. And then we just drifted away. But I am trying my hardest not to let that happen again.

So....just seduce the heck out of him....and yes he will eventually figure out when it is your fertile time. Mine has......
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