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beat breast cancer but might not be able to have a baby


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  #1  
September 15th, 2008, 01:36 AM
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Hi there. My name is Ali and I am new here. I have been through a roller coaster ride with doctors for the last 4 years. I had stage 3 breast cancer and am in remission now after 18+ months of chemo and radiation. I always said after I beat cancer I want to find the man of my dreams and give birth to our child. Well, I beat cancer, met the man of my dreams ( we are getting married in 4 weeks), and now after going in to have some cysts be removed it looks like my hopes of giving birth are crashing in all around me and I feel like I am at an emotional loss. What did I do wrong? When they were removing the cysts they saw I had endometriosis (sp) all over and they didn't get all of it out. They did get rid of the 4 cysts. They also did a dye test to see if my tubes were open. Well, it seems like I managed to spring a leak. They were also going to do a dnc on me but my cyrvix was closed and they couldn't get it open. I am still waiting to go in for my post op appointment to discuss everything with my ob/gyn but until then my brain won't shut off and I am wondering if anyone else out there has had this happen to them and if they were able to carry their own baby to term? I don't know if I will have to have IVF and will it even be an option for me. I would really appreciate any and all feedback to help me get through this long waiting period. Thank you in advance.
Ali
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  #2  
September 15th, 2008, 01:58 AM
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Hi I can't be of help but welcome to the board and hopefully someone might have some answers for you. you're right - it does sound like a helluva roller coaster ride for you..
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  #3  
September 15th, 2008, 05:10 AM
BeckyM's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hello & Ali!!! I'm Becky and I cohost this wonderful board along with Jessica. I haven't personally gone through what you've been through so I don't have any answers for you. What I and the ladies here can give you are some big and we are here for you. You've gone through so much already in your life, and I have no doubt you will get through this as well.

Please keep us updated on how your appointment goes, and I hope the doctor has some more answers for you.



And congrats on your upcoming wedding. Several of us have October anniversaries here, so it's nice to see another wedding for October.
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  #4  
September 15th, 2008, 05:36 AM
trainermom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Welcome Ali! My name is Heather and I'm still new here. Wow, you sure are dealing with a lot. First, Congratulations on beating the cancer and on your upcoming wedding! That is so wonderful! Even though I don't know exactly what you are going through, I can tell you that I have endometriosis (was diagnosed with it 15 years ago). I'd be happy to answer any questions you have about it. Just know that endo is "doable" and doctors can work with it. Also, as you experience a flood of info coming your way, try really hard not to let your mind get the best of you as you wait to talk to the professionals. Keep us posted on what you hear from the doctors, and don't be afraid to get a second opinion. Take care and <<<HUGS!!!>>>
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  #5  
September 15th, 2008, 08:10 AM
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Thank you all so much for making me feel like I am not alone in this. From what I am piecing together from what was told to my family after my surgery I have had endo for a very long time and it has caused scar tissue and bleeding inside of me. Where and how bad I am not sure. I do know the doctor told them that she didn't expect to see that inside of me. When she told my mom that she thought I should go on Loupron (sp) to give my body a chance to heal my mom told her I have already been on it for three years while I was dealing with my cancer. I have been off of it for a year or so now. I just don't know if they can correct all of the scaring, get rid of enough of the endo, plus I don't even understand everything that endo does or causes, and then if they can open my cervix to do a dnc or whatever they need to do. When I talk to my fiance about it, he is very analytical, he tells me the best thing to do is just to wait for my follow up appointment but I don't think he understands how much this just runs through my brain non stop. I keep wondering will I be to much of a pest if I call my ob/gyn and tell her I want to know the info NOW and not a week and a half for my follow up appointment. Ughhhhhh I hate this. I have had enough waiting in my life.
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  #6  
September 15th, 2008, 08:35 AM
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Congratulations on beating cancer and your wedding!!!! You have something amazing to look forward to next month. If i can give you any advice it would be to enjoy your wedding! Don't be so "consumed" with what might happen that you miss out on what is happening! You are marrying the man of your dreams!!! YEAH!!!! Second, the medical world is so advanced these days they can "fix" just about anything, as you have already experienced! So don't give up hope... Take one step at a time and I think you def. should call your doctor and tell her you need some info on what is going on. Please keep us posted and I will be praying for you!
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  #7  
September 15th, 2008, 09:55 AM
safeway0027's Avatar Super Mommy
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Congrats on beating cancer and on your upcoming wedding. You have such a positive outlook...and hope you and your dr will come up with a an answer for you. Please keep us updated and I want to welcome you to jmb and big hand in there.
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  #8  
September 15th, 2008, 11:48 AM
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Hi and I'm Jessica (41) and DH is Paul (38) and we've been TTC#1 since January. As Becky mentioned we co-host this wonderful board together. We really do have a great group of ladies on board and even if we can't really answer your questions, we are here for moral support and of course lots of

Congratulations on beating breast cancer and on you upcoming wedding!! I am an October bride myself (one year on October 13th). I agree with everybody about keeping us updated and calling your doctor. But, I really agree with Hallie when she said to enjoy your wedding!! Afterall, you ARE marrying the man of your dreams!! I don't know how much of the planning you are doing, but the last month will take it's toll on you, so concentrate on that and let the doctors deal with the medical side of your life. Believe me when I say I know that the guys just don't understand how much goes thru our minds on an hourly basis...their minds don't work in the same way ours does...so when your DF says to wait until the appointment, he won't understand, but he's trying to help. I would call the doctor and see if you can get the results ahead of time, explain that you are planning your wedding that happens in 4 weeks and that you need to have an idea what's happening with you medically so you can concentrate on your wedding (and possibly what's happening with you physically) and not worry about "what might be". I've always found it best to know instead of guess.

Again, congrats on the wedding and the battle you've already won!! And, keep us posted on the rest and we'll do our best to help you in any way we can.
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  #9  
September 15th, 2008, 05:59 PM
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Hi Ali. I'm Casey (35) and DH is Tim (26). Welcome to the board and like the others said, we're hear for you even if you just need to rant about anything. Congrats on beating the cancer and bigger congrats on the upcoming wedding. I know how frustrating it can seem. I too have endo and have been dealing with it for about 6 or so years now. I've had 1 major surgury and 3 lapros. It wasn't until this last one that I learned about issues that I have. But the other times, the doctors kept telling me that it would get better and that I should be able to have babies. I was on the Lupron shot for 3 months before my big surgury. As you probably know, it mimicks the symptoms of menopause, hot flashes, no periods, etc, etc. I actually didn't mind it too much, except it was a really hot summer those 3 months. I learned that estrogen is what fuels the endo, so when I went on the BCP, it was a low dose of estrogen. After being off them for 6 months, the doctor did a quick lapro to double check the endo and make sure I was all set, since we were TTC. But having endo isn't the end baby making. It's just a detour. medicine has come so far these days, and you are proof of that. Don't let if get you down.
You have so much on you plate already, especially with the wedding next month. Like the other girls said, worry about that and not the medical stuff. I know it's hard, but you have to for your sake. And I agree with Jessica, call the doctor, tell them your concerns and that you are anxious to hear results. Explain that you are trying to plan the wedding and this is all that you are thinking of. Mention the word stress. Maybe they will help you. Keep us up to date with how it goes......
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  #10  
September 15th, 2008, 08:20 PM
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Ali! I'm Kimberley, married to Jason (also in October).

I don't have any personal experience with cancer or endo, but my heart goes out to you for all that you have already gone through. I don't think that men realize how much us women internalize and obsess over things. We are always here if you ever want to talk or vent.

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  #11  
September 15th, 2008, 11:50 PM
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Thank you all for you kind support and motivation to keep going forward. I did call my doctors office today and well just my luck the doctor is on vacation until next week. I then called to see if the surgical report was in so I could get a copy of it and NOPE it wasn't ready at all and they don't know when it will be ready.

I did find out when taking to my fiance that they found a brown blob inside of me. He didn't know what to make of it or what to ask. I just wish they would ask the doctors ok what next since I am coming out of surgery and lets face it I am in loopy loop world where the drugs are goooooddddddd.

I was on Lupron for about 3 years whild I was battling cancer in an attempt to save my ovaries so that I could have a chance at having children when I BEAT cancer's tush.

Has anyone heard of having a tight almost closed cervex and what they do or can do to open it back up so that you can get pregnant?

Also, has anyone heard of how many rounds of IVF it can take for you to successfully carry a baby to term in your late 30's or older?

Thank you again for being a life line to me as I wait out here for the Coast Guard to help the stork come along with its delivery to my house. The sad thing is my house feels empty already without kids since we bought a big 5 bedroom house close to 3500 sq ft with the plans of having 2 children. Now I pass by rooms that are empty or have moving boxes in them when I think dang that is where the nursery is suppose to be set up. I know men don't get that but those little reminders are huge at times.
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  #12  
September 16th, 2008, 05:44 AM
BeckyM's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm sorry your doctor is on vacation, that would be typical for me too. Hang in there, and like the others have suggested "try" not to worry about this right now as there's nothing you can do until the doctor returns and you can get some more answers and information. I'd write down all your questions & scenerio questions now and then put those aside and try to focus on the wedding and other things until you can get back with your doctor. I know it's hard, and all this will linger in the back of your head, but try . . .

In the meantime, focus on those wedding plans. I'll be married 2 years this Oct 14th and I can remember that last month like it was just yesterday. I "thought" I would have nothing to worry about since I tend to be over organized and did alot of stuff before hand. Boy was I wrong, I still had lots to do that last month. My wedding ended up being so special & sweet and that's what it's supposed to be. And if you need some last minute wedding tips or to vent about the wedding stuff too, please let us know. I'm sure many of us can offer some assistance, or at least be here to listen.
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  #13  
September 16th, 2008, 07:51 AM
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My sweetie and I are getting married October 18th on the beach bare foot at Lake Tahoe. What started out as a small wedding, less than 10 people counting us, has grown to about 40 people. Yikes all those eyes on me, turn around and look at the lake and not me walking down please! Luckily we are going through a big casino up there who is taking care of the cake, the ceremony, and the location for us. I got my dress already and it fit me perfectly right off the rack. I am going to take it in today to have a bussle added since there is a tiny train to it and I don't want to be walking with that in the sand and end up with a pile of sand behind me when I finally get there. After all of the pictures we are going to have the reception low key so our families can meet, he was born in Hawaii and I am a native California girl. We got a 3 bedroom condo that sleeps 9 on the lake for the family to stay at and get to know each other. After the wedding night we are going to go back there and join them. My invitations are out and we are already starting to get replys back. What I don't get is who replies without putting their name on it. Ughhh how can I send them out a map to the location? Oh well if they get lost and don't find the location they won't find us at the Hard Rock. We are going to do message in a bottle for our wedding favors with a note about love inside. On the bottle will be a tag to help us rock in our new lives together at the Hard Rock so we will see you there! I also got about 20 pair of flip flops from the dollar bins for those who ummm might of forgot that this is a beach wedding. I am going to put them in a backet that I have here and leave an empty basket for shoes and some wet whipes if they want to whipe off their feet after. So, for now we are pretty much set on the wedding, including the wedding license done and in hand. The real headache will come when people start coming in the Thur before the wedding from Ohio, L.A., Hawaiii, and from other parts unknown. I thought they would just send a card saying congrats but no another set of eyes. My mom keeps reminding me that all of those eyes looking at you are of love, support and they want to celebrate with you. Ok mom I will have to remember that on that day. Easy for her to say she eloped and didn't have anyone looking at her!

Thanks again gang
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  #14  
September 16th, 2008, 08:45 AM
trainermom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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WOW! Your wedding sounds like it will be absolutely amazing!! I love the message in a bottle and flip flops ideas! You'll have to post some pictures, if you're comfortable. We had a big wedding and although I have no regrets, I do fantasize about renewing our vows on a beach someday with very close friends and family around. Well done and hang in there! It gets crazy the days leading up to the big day. Don't forget to eat! I know that sounds crazy, but so many brides get so wrapped up in the final details that they forget. By the time the wedding day is there, they're exhausted and famished!
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  #15  
September 16th, 2008, 01:18 PM
safeway0027's Avatar Super Mommy
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WOW, your wedding sounds great...it's going to be wonderful and you will look back and won't remember all the stress before the wedding. Just remember to enjoy yourself on the wedding day, it will go be so fast that you won't remember what took place. I can't remember everything on our wedding day..sometime when I watch our video...I would ask my dh "I don't remember doing that or that person was at our wedding". Just enjoy as much planning and the day of the wedding.

I know what you means by the house been empty...dh and I bought our first house about 1 & 7 months now...we got a big house in hoping to start a family to fill it up. The rooms are not empty (guest room right now) but I want it to be our child's room. Our house is empty...someday when I get home early and dh is not there yet...I wish there were yelling and crying of little ones around. It will happen soon for us and it will with you too.

Did you happen to watch Today show this morning? I only got part of it...but there was these ladies on talking about how they got preggo using easten medication. It sound great...I'm going to look into it more and I will let you know more about it. Keep on hope...here is always hope. Hang in there.
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  #16  
September 16th, 2008, 01:53 PM
BeckyM's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Your wedding sounds so beautiful!!! The message in the bottle idea is so cute and flip flops too. DH & I "foolishly" thought we could have a small wedding and ended up with close to 200 people counting the kids. (There were @ 30 kids - we have so many in our family.) Don't be nervous about everyone watching you, I didn't even notice the group. I was intent on getting up the aisle to DH and the look in his eyes was so precious.


Quote:
Did you happen to watch Today show this morning? I only got part of it...but there was these ladies on talking about how they got preggo using easten medication. It sound great...I'm going to look into it more and I will let you know more about it. Keep on hope...here is always hope. Hang in there.[/b]
I didn't catch the Today Show as I was at work, but noticed the link today online. Here it is if anyone wants to see it. link for info.
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  #17  
September 16th, 2008, 01:56 PM
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Ali, it sounds like you have wedding plans under control, but........like Becky said, and I have to agree as I'm an organized person too, stay on top of it. It doesn't take but a second for it to go out of control. Ours was a 2nd for both of us and where this one was waaaay larger than my first (smaller than his first) I felt the same way you did about all the eyes on you. You don't think about it when you're walking down the aisle. I was clustered away from pretty much everybody, so I didn't know for sure who had shown and who hadn't, plus, DH and I didn't see each other after rehearsal the night before. So, my eyes were pretty much on him and a couple of people in the back that I didn't realize were going to be there.

I'm sorry your doc is on vacation. Hang in there and we are here for you. With a closed cervix, I've only heard of that during different times of the cycle, not on a normal basis. Have you researched "closed cervix" on the internet? I'm sure you have, we all seem to obsess over those kinds of things. I know once I'm on a mission, I am on a mission! KWIM? Don't try researching the IVF stuff yet. I'm not trying to scare you, but I've heard of couples going thru that 3 and 4 times without success. Why they went that route I don't know. So success and failure stories are going to be out there all over the place, but not necessarily with "your circumstances". I would check into getting your cervix opened first. Because if there's a problem with natural conception once it's open then IUI would probably be the next step. It's supposedly way less expensive than IVF.

We too have a large house for the two of us. And, even tho we moved in a year ago, we STILL have moving boxes and things piled up in the garage and in one of the spare rooms that I've dubbed "the nursery". And, I too think about turning it into one whenever I walking in there to find something. It'll happen.......for all of us!!

Good Luck and Keep us Posted about everything!! We are going to want to see pictures of the wedding afterwards.
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  #18  
September 16th, 2008, 06:04 PM
CaseyM's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Your wedding sounds so nice and peaceful Ali. Remember to keep the goal in mind - I DO!!! I too am not a person that likes to be up front, but you won't even notice any eyes while you are walking towards your sweetie....I don't even remember who was sitting and who was standing at ours because all I was looking at was DH. I hope you will be able to post some pictures after. We would love to see them.
If you feel the need to vent off some steam because of wedding preparations, please vent away. I planned most of ours last year and it can be overwhelming. And like Becky said, write down all the questions that you want answers to from the doctor when you think of them. This way you don't get in there and then leave and go "DOH!" like I always do... :-) Good luck and keep us posted!!!!
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