Painful

kayakr · #1 September 30th, 2011, 01:00 PM

I find it hard lately to be on the TTC board. Those young girls that only have to try a few cycles are starting to get to me.

No fault of their own, of course, but it is starting to take it's toll on me.

When I first started this board a saw other postings with people having a hard time with that too and I thought it was silly. Now though...since this TTC is taking FOREVER and may never happen, those awesome BFP are harder and harder to see. I am happy for them, but I get even more sad for myself. I hate that I am starting to feel this way too. I guess I am just jealous. Jealous that they are young and jealous that they don't have to try for very long, jealous that even if they don't get a BFP right a way they have years to work on it. 41 just doens't give me much time and it super stinks! UGH!

Okay - I feel better now! sniff sniff

K.A.T · #2 September 30th, 2011, 01:19 PM

*hugs* I know I haven't been trying for too long of a time, I'm on my 4th cycle, but I understand what you're saying. I too get a bit hurt when I desperately want another child and and here come along some 20something year old and gets pg with her first try.

missy123 · #3 September 30th, 2011, 02:14 PM

I know how hard it is - took us 2.5 years and 4 miscarriages. Don't give up hope though - I am almost 43 and having a baby. (((Hugs)))

BeckyM · #4 September 30th, 2011, 08:22 PM

(((hugs))) It is/was so hard to sit on the sidelines and see others get that beautiful BFP and their babies month after month while I didn't. It's bittersweet to be happy for others and sad at the same time for ourselves, but it will make you appreciate even more when you do get your blessing. I treasure every single moment.

LauraTTCat42 · #5 October 2nd, 2011, 10:44 PM

(((hugs))) It is sometimes very difficult to see the BFP's happening all around you, but stay strong and positive. We are all here with you and for you!!

kayakr · #6 October 3rd, 2011, 05:57 AM

Missy - that gives me such hope, but being over 40 is just so hard to believe it may not happen.

Thank you everyone.

*SamF* · #7 October 3rd, 2011, 06:11 AM

I agree the 20 somethings and the 'I didn't get pregnant the first month' complainers are annoying. I have always tried to just gloss over their posts. It took over a year with both DS and this one, with many m/c's and thousands of dollars in treatments. But we are finally here.

Don't give up hope, it can be a hard uphill battle, but the reward is so worth all the grief along the way.

kayakr · #8 October 3rd, 2011, 12:31 PM

Sam - that is great. I am happy for you. You guys sure have been through it all. It was all worth it though for you!

It's really hard managing my feelings, my DH feelings and dealing with the whole thing. I try and gloss over those posts too, but it gets harder with each BFN cycle. I need to just stay off the TTC board for awhile. I am a big jealous baby!