[CaseyM]

So I guess I'm out this time. I started spotting Saturday night and the nurses just kept telling me that it could be a reaction to the prog. meds, but I knew better. Then this morning, AF showed up full force. So I guess I really don't need to go to the doc's tomorrow for my bloodwork. But I'm gonna call them later and ask them that and if I still need to do the cream today and tomorrow. So I guess this is it for me. We have no insurance left and no RX insurance left for any fertility treatments. So unless there is some sort of miracle in my house, we are going to be a one child family. Don't get me wrong. I love Matt with all my heart, but I've always dreamed of having 2 kids, one little boy and one little girl. DH doesn't understand this and thinks that this means that I don't love Matt that much. But I know that you girls understand where I'm coming from. I had told myself not to get my hopes up for this cycle, but when the embryos were so strong I figured we had a better chance. But then I got so sick and I'm wondering if that is what did it. Oh well...thanks for letting me vent. I needed to do that someplace and no one around here would understand. They just keep telling me to think positive. Well, here's my positive thinking..."I'm positive that AF has come to visit!" Thanks for everything girls. And I'll be stopping in every once and a while just to keep an eye on you girls to be sure you are behaving...lol...luv ya

[GG1995]

Oh Casey!!

I am so sorry honey!! I know exactly what you mean about having at least 2 kids. I have always felt the same. I have always wanted to give Trevor a sibling, not because I don't love him enough, but because I want him to have someone to grow up with, be friends with, share secrets with, and all of the others things that brothers and sisters do. I also feel like if something were to happen to me and his Dad, then he wouldn't be "alone" in the world because he would have a sibling.

I'll be praying for a miracle for you!! (((HUGS)))

[*SamF*]

I'm so sorry Casey!! I'll be praying for a miracle for you.
I really understand where you are coming from. My desire for a second child is not because I don't love CJ enough but because I do love him so much. I want to round out the family and also give him a sibling.
I really hope that you get your miracle baby soon. There are several (Missy) ladies who have!

[K.A.T]

I'm sorry Casey, I hope you get your miracle after all.

[CaseyM]

Thanks girls...I knew you guys would understand...The worse part is that I have since found out that my lil sister is prego...She was the one that was my POAS pusher and wanted me to test with her last weekend. She tested but never told me that it came back negative. I had to drag it out of her. She still is upset and thinks that I am mad at her, but I'm not. I'm glad for her, but at the same time it will be difficult for a little while to deal with. But she is my lil sis and I love her....Thanks for the words of encouragement...

[kayakr]

I am sorry CaseyM. I know that this is terrible and the desire to have another baby isn't becuase of the lack of love for your DS. It is because you love him so much that you want another one. We all understand. It doesn't help that we all feel like we are running short on time as well because of our age.

To make myself get through this, I have been focusing on all the things I have to be grateful for instead of the one thing I want more then anything that doesn't appear it will ever happen. It has helped me a little.

I hope that when you big prego naturally next cycle and can put all this pain behind you. Enjoy your little guy ! I know you already do!

My heart really breaks for all of us!

[pepper73]

Oh no Casey!!! I am so sorry! I wish there was something I could say or do to make it better! I really hope that you get a surprise BFP naturally and can give your DS a baby brother or sister. I hope that your DH can come around to understand. Of course it isn't because you don't love your DS enough. It's not fair of your DH to accuse you of that and that breaks my heart. You are in my thoughts & prayers and I really hope things turn around for you quickly!

[BeckyM]

I'm so sorry sweetie. I too hope & pray that you get that miracle BFP.

[L-SBB]

i am so sorry Casey! I also hope you get your miracle BFP...do not give up hope a good friend of mine had her IVF fail too (after a long difficult road to even do IVF) and then got pregnant on her own 2 months later. Those miracles do happen and I really really hope one does for you too!

[CaseyM]

Thanks everyone. The doc's called today. The bloodtest came back negative. That was no surprise. But I talked to the nurse because I was really having a bad bad bad AF this time. I am soaking through in about 2 hours and having massive clots. (sorry TMI) But they said that is normal after a failed IVF...so here's hoping for a big miracle...love you all

[MarieJ]

I'm so sorry--I'm praying you get your 2nd miracle ((hugs)) and love to you