[LauraTTCat42]

I have decided to not actively TTC for a couple months - meaning no OPK, no cm/cp monitoring and no planned bd. Nothing, nada.....

Everything is just going horribly wrong and I can't add the pressure of TTC to it all right now. I was in hysterics last night, crying 1 minute angry the next then back to crying. I feel like crying right now. Yesterday I freaked out on a few of the guys at work, I have been making apologies all morning, which makes me want to cry even more. I feel like such an *****.

I found out my childrens father is moving away, so all custody comes back to me. I am ok with that but the kids are really upset and acting up at home with me. I just had to pick up DS and DD from school because DS was having an emotional breakdown Aside from the fact the their father was burgled this weekend and their clothes and toys at his house were all stolen, which is also upsetting them. Then Sunday friends of ours were in a bad accident and we spent the whole night trying to get them seen to (they don't have medical aid). Work fired our workshop manager and took buying away from the production manager, so guess who is doing all of that work now too. Not like I was relieved of any of my work. I am literally working 6h30 to 17h00 everyday and still trying to run a household. I know DH is feeling it from my side, he has been very quiet which has me concerned.

I am literally having pre-af symptoms (spots on my forehead, bloated, cramps, miserable, congested, nauseous...) and I am only on CD12, what I am experiencing has never ever been pre-O symptoms except the cramps and normally I am in a great mood pre-O. The more I think about it the more I think maybe I am peri-menopausal. My DR appt on the 28th wont be here soon enough.

I am very sorry for the vent - I'm just terribly frustrated. I have no right to complain, I have 2 beautiful children and I know there are a lot of ladies out there battling to have 1, just really wanted one with DH, he is such an amazing person and would be a great dad.

[pepper73]

Oh Laura, I am so sorry things are so rough on you right now!! I don't blame you for taking time off from TTC with all of that going on. It sounds like things are really stressful and to add the stress of TTC, might be too much. It sounds like your kids need you now more than ever and they are so lucky to have you as their mom. Please keep us posted on how you're doing!!

[BeckyM]

Big hugs sweetie!! You have so much going on right now, please vent away.

[L-SBB]

i am so sorry you're dealing with so much right now....it seems like bad things always group together like that and it can be so overwhelming. HUGS

[LauraTTCat42]

Thank you Ladies - I really appreciate the support.

I am hoping to get back to TTC the beginning of January. I think I am too stressed right now for my body to actually do anything productive anyway.

I think maybe the most upsetting or rather irritating part of all this is that my ex has always let the kids down some way or another. And I am now with this absolutely amazing man, who should have children and he has never had one.

Well I will hopefully have answers or at least maybe a step in the right direction the end of this month with my DR appt.

I am still going to pop in here when I can to see how you are all doing and keep everyone TTC in my T & P's for their BFP's.

(((hugs)))

[Lizsmum]

I am new here but I wanted to wish you tons of luck and offer up hugs to you. It IS frustrating but you WILL get your baby together soon! Positive thinking!!!!

[*SamF*]

Big Hugs Laura! It's so frustrating and I understand the whole work thing on top of it, But then to have your kids father moving away, that just makes it all the harder.
Hope you doctor appt though gives you the answers you need!

[kayakr]

Sometimes a break is what we need. It's nice to feel normal for a few cycles. I hope you get your BFP while on your break!

[heartsleeve71]

I still drop in here from time to time, to try to give hope to those older mommies. I have heard so many amazing stories in the past year of women who take a break and finally get their BFP! You have so much stress right now and adding to it will not help so it sounds like you need to wait till all these things start working themselves out which they will!

I understand wanting a LO with your DH, I had/have a similar but opposite issue. My DH has 2 girls from a previous marriage and his ex is just a lunatic and they live far away and he only gets to see them a few times a year. Its so hard on him and he is the most amazing dad that he and I are so excited for him to get to finally be a full time real dad with a huge part in his childs life! this LO will combine our families truly and though its been super hard on me physically/mentally being older, its so worth it in the end!

Keep your hope, but don't let it run your life! If its meant to be it WILL be, keep the positive thought in your mind!

[Jenknee]

Laura,
I am so sorry. Big hug to you!

[MarieJ]

((hugs)) I hope things settle down for you and your family

[Counting our Blessings]

I'm sorry it's so hard. I hope it gets better

[pepper73]

Just checking in to see how you're doing. Are things getting any easier for you? Remember that we're all here for you!

[LauraTTCat42]

I'm just going with the flow of things at the moment work isn't getting any better and my kids are so full of non-sense, but I have mellowed out a bit about everything and taking things 1 day at a time. I just want to get to December so I can have my holiday and not worry about work. Also, on the bright side, the kids grandfather (dads father) is taking them to the beach house in Ramsgate from 5 Dec to 15 Dec, which will give me a bit of a breather and hopefully wear them out in time for Christmas, LOL.

Thanks for asking Sarah