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  • 2 Post By kayakr
  • 2 Post By vickyblueeyes
  • 3 Post By missy123
  • 1 Post By Happy Song
  • 1 Post By lelila
  • 1 Post By kayakr
  • 1 Post By Mom 2 Avery

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  #1  
November 28th, 2012, 05:35 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
Hi Sweetie -

I was just looking at your signature and looked at a few things. I know I have not been on these boards for a long time so I don't know your full story but at first glance something is puzzling me. Why do they want you to look into donor eggs when it seems its a morph/quantity issue from DH? Please don't take this wrong, It is not an attack. I am just curious.

((hugs)) I hope you get pregnant!! Do not give up hope. I had Miss S at age 42 after 2.5 years of trying, 4 losses and much infertility. It is just such a painful journey... xoxoxo
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #2  
November 28th, 2012, 07:08 AM
kayakr's Avatar Persuaded by POAS’ers
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,753
Hi!
I was just thinking yesterday I should fix my signature so it was not so lengthy. Then when I went to change it I couldn't. It's kind of like my scars that I can't change you know? It is what it is and it shows where I have been.
To answer your questions - they are really pushing egg donor because of my age and chances of MC or Downs. Also because IVF over 40 years old the odds just go so far down with older eggs, it’s heartbreaking. Also – although they can’t find anything wrong with me other than my age, they are thinking there must be something because it did take 5 years to get pregnant with my DS when I was in my early 20’s with my first husband. That husband (after we divorced, he went on to have 2 more kids super easy). I have only been pregnant once EVER and that was with DS. I have had a lot of bding too ! 
DH and I have done lots of thinking over the last year and egg donor just makes sense. It just makes our odds better even though it costs about 6,000.00 more. I wanted to try IUI with Sperm donor but DH just isn’t up for that. He feels he just really wants a kid of his own with his own DNA. Since I would be the one pregnant it wouldn’t matter to me if it was donor egg or my egg because I would be the one pregnant at which point it would be mine.
. Hopefully with a donor we will get lots of frostie babies too incase round one of IVF doesn’t work we can have a few more FET. The price of it will be about 20,000.00. We go after Christmas to the RE to start picking out our donor. There are books and books of them. We pick out a few we like and the office calls them to start running tests on them (that we pay for) to make sure they are a candidate for an IVF cycle. We have to decide if we want a “proven” donor or an “unproven” donor. Proven means she has either donated before or has kids of her own already. Unproven has never been pregnant before.
I would appreciate any feed back from you guys that I can get. Good, bad or indifferent. I think I have thought it all the way through by now but if you guys can think of something maybe I have missed?

..... and I will be 43 in Feb. Odds at 43 are like less than 20% of IVF even working and then the MC rate is over 50%. Downs is like over 50% too.
Happy Song and LauraTTCat42 like this.
__________________
Gretchen
Me (43) DH(33) 12 years together - ttc our first together-I have 14yr old DS
Cycles 1-6 = BFN
Cycle 7 SA results abnormal morphology 2%, 50 mg clomid = BFN
Cycle 8 sonogram normal 50 mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 9 SA results abnormal morphology and motility. Count 200 mill, 100mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 10 natural = BFN
Cycle 11 hsg tubes clear, natural + trigger+IUI = BFN
Cycle 12 repronex + trigger + 2 IUI = BFN
Cycle 13 natural ovaries to stimulated for more meds = BFN
Cycle 14-22 natural cycle with Acupuncture and planning ivf/icsi/DE = ALL BFN
Cycle 23 Clomid 50 mg & Progesterone = BFN
Cycle 24 Natural = BFN
Cycle 25 BCP, SA result 7% morphology = BFN
Cycle 26 BCP and Lupron preparing for IVF
Cycle 27 IVF Acupuncture, DE Retrieval April 7, Transfer April 12 =
7 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 transferred - zero snow babies
BETA # 1 16DPO or 11dp5dt = 569
BETA # 2 19 DPO or 14dp5dt = 1078
BETA # 3 22DPO or 17dp5dt = 2414 TWINS!
BETA # 4 30DPO or 25dp5dt = 12,685 6weeks 3days 2 heartbeats! 114 & 116
Clayton and Colton Born @ 34 weeks 11/22/13
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  #3  
November 28th, 2012, 10:05 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 981
For what its worth I think you are doing the right thing for you .it is a lot of money .but there no price on a little life. If you and dh want this feel its right then go and do it.live your life as you please life is way to short to wait around .I'm wishing you all the luck in the world .and many blessings . X
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  #4  
November 28th, 2012, 10:29 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
Here is the major abbreviated version of what I went through.

At 39 got pregnant (oopse!) with a guy I was casually dating. Had a chemical pregnancy at about 5 weeks. Pregnant again 5 months later... unexplained loss after a heartbeat at 8 weeks. Infertility for 1 year of trying. Went to RE... failed clomid and IUI cycles. Basically at that point the RE said because my FSH was so high and my age that we would have to use donor eggs. My DH (yeah, the casual dating guy fell in love with me, lol) lost his job so we had to stop going to the RE. I spent hours upon hours every single day here on JM as well as searching the internet for some miracle way to get pregnant.... Over the next year we got pregnant 2 more times taking DHEA and musinex. One was a cervical ectopic, one chemical. Then finally Scarlett.

I am not saying don't go the egg donor route - we almost did with my best friend (who never wants children) as our donor. She is 12 years younger than me so the egg quality issue would not have been the case.

Here I am babbling... I just wanted to give you a hug and let you know that the road is so hard and painful... I get that. But it is all worth it... There is hope and do not give up.
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #5  
November 28th, 2012, 10:54 AM
kayakr's Avatar Persuaded by POAS’ers
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,753
Thank you for the encouraging words. I needed them today as this is CD1 - BOO
That is awesome you had Scarlett even with the bad FSH numbers.  Looks like you got your miracle for sure! I know it’s possible for me too I just have to stay positive and not give up.
My numbers are that of a 20 year old so who knows why I can’t get pregnant other than DH morphology issues. My dr. tells me even with good numbers my eggs are still 40 years old. With DH
I just informed DH that AF started and he said, “ We have to be happy we have each other and DS. If we are blessed with a child through IVF then that will be awesome, if not then we will adopt hun. We will make it through this together with God, we must remain positive! I am sorry my swimmers suck. Remember that this is something neither you nor I have any control over, so we can’t get negative about it, we can only do what we can about it. “
__________________
Gretchen
Me (43) DH(33) 12 years together - ttc our first together-I have 14yr old DS
Cycles 1-6 = BFN
Cycle 7 SA results abnormal morphology 2%, 50 mg clomid = BFN
Cycle 8 sonogram normal 50 mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 9 SA results abnormal morphology and motility. Count 200 mill, 100mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 10 natural = BFN
Cycle 11 hsg tubes clear, natural + trigger+IUI = BFN
Cycle 12 repronex + trigger + 2 IUI = BFN
Cycle 13 natural ovaries to stimulated for more meds = BFN
Cycle 14-22 natural cycle with Acupuncture and planning ivf/icsi/DE = ALL BFN
Cycle 23 Clomid 50 mg & Progesterone = BFN
Cycle 24 Natural = BFN
Cycle 25 BCP, SA result 7% morphology = BFN
Cycle 26 BCP and Lupron preparing for IVF
Cycle 27 IVF Acupuncture, DE Retrieval April 7, Transfer April 12 =
7 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 transferred - zero snow babies
BETA # 1 16DPO or 11dp5dt = 569
BETA # 2 19 DPO or 14dp5dt = 1078
BETA # 3 22DPO or 17dp5dt = 2414 TWINS!
BETA # 4 30DPO or 25dp5dt = 12,685 6weeks 3days 2 heartbeats! 114 & 116
Clayton and Colton Born @ 34 weeks 11/22/13
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  #6  
November 28th, 2012, 11:09 AM
kayakr's Avatar Persuaded by POAS’ers
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,753
Would you guys pick a "proven donor" or an "unproven" donor?
__________________
Gretchen
Me (43) DH(33) 12 years together - ttc our first together-I have 14yr old DS
Cycles 1-6 = BFN
Cycle 7 SA results abnormal morphology 2%, 50 mg clomid = BFN
Cycle 8 sonogram normal 50 mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 9 SA results abnormal morphology and motility. Count 200 mill, 100mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 10 natural = BFN
Cycle 11 hsg tubes clear, natural + trigger+IUI = BFN
Cycle 12 repronex + trigger + 2 IUI = BFN
Cycle 13 natural ovaries to stimulated for more meds = BFN
Cycle 14-22 natural cycle with Acupuncture and planning ivf/icsi/DE = ALL BFN
Cycle 23 Clomid 50 mg & Progesterone = BFN
Cycle 24 Natural = BFN
Cycle 25 BCP, SA result 7% morphology = BFN
Cycle 26 BCP and Lupron preparing for IVF
Cycle 27 IVF Acupuncture, DE Retrieval April 7, Transfer April 12 =
7 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 transferred - zero snow babies
BETA # 1 16DPO or 11dp5dt = 569
BETA # 2 19 DPO or 14dp5dt = 1078
BETA # 3 22DPO or 17dp5dt = 2414 TWINS!
BETA # 4 30DPO or 25dp5dt = 12,685 6weeks 3days 2 heartbeats! 114 & 116
Clayton and Colton Born @ 34 weeks 11/22/13
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  #7  
November 28th, 2012, 06:36 PM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 10,797
Quote:
Originally Posted by kayakr View Post
Would you guys pick a "proven donor" or an "unproven" donor?
To answer that question I would say go with what your heart says and not give that any thought. Why because the person you pick as a donar will have something that catches you and that is the point you want not making everything so clinical.

Well i have never posted here, i was looking for Becky and found my buddy Missy. Here is my story... when I was 18 I got married and me and my Dh were in a hurry to start our family. After e few year we tried clomid and no luck. I had been raised with foster children so we looked into that. We got our first foster child on Halloween and shortly after he became available for adoption. We started to adopt him. However my marriage fell apart. My divorce was final about 1 year after getting my foster child. My ex was married 2 months later and his first born was born 8 months later, the rest were like little stair steps.

So after a while I found out my son had a half brother in foster care and a year later he was placed with me as a foster adopt as well. It took 4 years for the first adoption to be done and a year later the second one was done. Six weeks after the adoption was final I went in for pre operative blood work and my doctor hunted me down at my moms house after 8pm to tell me my blood results. I was pregnant. I was not even in a relationship, more of a friends with benefits. She is 11 now.

When she was four I got remarried to my cuurrent husband. He had a child from a previous relationship. We did NTNP for several years before going in to and RE. We did clomid Femara and when they started talking other stuff we declined due to money and the fact we had other children and did not want to go that direction. After we gave up six months later i found out I was pregnant with my Miss S. After she was born of course we just NTNP because I had been struck by lightning twice... But When my Miss S was six months old I was pregnant again. We lost that baby and then in the next six months two more babies. Then Jan 10th 2010 I was pregnant again! My rainbow baby Beau was worth every tear I shed. Of course DH and I didn't learn that well my infertility had evaporated and voila I was feeling pregnant. It was impossible because DH and I were not having any opportunities to BD, I was EBF, I hadn't even had a PPAF! But Tessa did not seem to care and she was born 13 months after Beau, happy and healthy and oddly with brown eyes.

Since we were on a roll we figured let it ride, again I got pregnant while breastfeeding. We sadly lost our son at 18 weeks. So we are back except this time we are TTC.

If you need an egg donor go for it. Just know that TTC is a dicey affair and there are no tried and true anything!

As for the risk of Down Syndrome according to my doctor he doesn't even have me test for it. he says the risk increases, but most the time the Downs babies are born to women under 35. As for my losses he chalked them up to "old eggs" mine were Blighted ovum, fetal demise, chemical and then fetal demise but we did not have our baby checked for anything, as it wouldn't change the fact that he died.
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Nicole mommy to...



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  #8  
November 28th, 2012, 09:28 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 981
Thank you for your story ladies .you be given me hope
And that giving up is def not gonna happen with me unill dh and I have our own baby together.I also agree with going with your heart with the lady with the eggs . You will just know she is the one .
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  #9  
November 29th, 2012, 05:22 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,950
Kayakr - I was reading your posts and your heartbreaking journey. I truly hope you get that beautiful baby soon!

I was curious, have you met with a geneticist? We met with one of the top Geneticists in the country and she gave us an incredible amount of information and insight.

To summarize: The risk of M/C increases only by a tiny fraction of a percent after 40. Chromosomal disorders (such as downs) are not age related.

If you haven't already, I encourage you to have a geneticist do a chromosomal study to identify disjunction or translocation in your chromosomes. Your OB can hook you up with a geneticist in your area.

Finally, all geneticists are connected by an international database, so there is a wealth of information and studies to refer to when studying your particular case. We found so much comfort finding out that the chromosomal disorders in my family were not inherited, and that we had just a good a chance of conceiving and carrying to full term, as anyone else.

Good Luck to you and all the ladies!
Leia
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  #10  
November 29th, 2012, 11:21 AM
kayakr's Avatar Persuaded by POAS’ers
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,753
Nicole - that is quite the story. I am sorry for all those m/c but how awesome is it that you've been blessed with 4 babies! Awesome! We will do the foster to adopt as well if the IVF doesn't work out. I hope I can deal with the potential pain of Foster to Adopt becuase I knwo that has it's own set of heartbreak as well.

I’ve been tested for everything under the moon including the genetic stuff as well. They can’t find anything abnormal with anything on me. So we have every reason to believe this is only Sperm related. We didn’t go to actual geneticists because they didn’t find any reason to refer us to one with any of our tests. I have never had a M/C (Thank GOD) so it isn’t that I have a hard time carrying a baby (that I know of). I need to get pregnant first and hopefully carrying the baby won’t be an issue.
We will be going in about 3 weeks to pick out a few donors. We need to have a few in mind incase one doesn’t work out either by her doing or medically. I’ll keep you posted.
missy123 likes this.
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Gretchen
Me (43) DH(33) 12 years together - ttc our first together-I have 14yr old DS
Cycles 1-6 = BFN
Cycle 7 SA results abnormal morphology 2%, 50 mg clomid = BFN
Cycle 8 sonogram normal 50 mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 9 SA results abnormal morphology and motility. Count 200 mill, 100mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 10 natural = BFN
Cycle 11 hsg tubes clear, natural + trigger+IUI = BFN
Cycle 12 repronex + trigger + 2 IUI = BFN
Cycle 13 natural ovaries to stimulated for more meds = BFN
Cycle 14-22 natural cycle with Acupuncture and planning ivf/icsi/DE = ALL BFN
Cycle 23 Clomid 50 mg & Progesterone = BFN
Cycle 24 Natural = BFN
Cycle 25 BCP, SA result 7% morphology = BFN
Cycle 26 BCP and Lupron preparing for IVF
Cycle 27 IVF Acupuncture, DE Retrieval April 7, Transfer April 12 =
7 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 transferred - zero snow babies
BETA # 1 16DPO or 11dp5dt = 569
BETA # 2 19 DPO or 14dp5dt = 1078
BETA # 3 22DPO or 17dp5dt = 2414 TWINS!
BETA # 4 30DPO or 25dp5dt = 12,685 6weeks 3days 2 heartbeats! 114 & 116
Clayton and Colton Born @ 34 weeks 11/22/13
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  #11  
November 30th, 2012, 06:37 AM
Mom 2 Avery's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 1,611
Send a message via MSN to Mom 2 Avery Send a message via Yahoo to Mom 2 Avery
Have him take Geritol before you give up!!!!
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  #12  
December 2nd, 2012, 03:29 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
Nicole - I did not know you had older children as well. amazing girl!!

Kayakr - Praying for you.
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #13  
December 3rd, 2012, 05:22 AM
LauraTTCat42's Avatar Proud Host TTC-OM
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: South Africa
Posts: 1,529
What a journey you have been on. I hope the IVF works and you have your little one very soon. Keeping you in my T & P's
__________________
Laura and Anthony








Jun/July2012 - Cycle 11 started charting
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  #14  
December 4th, 2012, 01:28 PM
kayakr's Avatar Persuaded by POAS’ers
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,753
Thanks guys!
__________________
Gretchen
Me (43) DH(33) 12 years together - ttc our first together-I have 14yr old DS
Cycles 1-6 = BFN
Cycle 7 SA results abnormal morphology 2%, 50 mg clomid = BFN
Cycle 8 sonogram normal 50 mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 9 SA results abnormal morphology and motility. Count 200 mill, 100mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 10 natural = BFN
Cycle 11 hsg tubes clear, natural + trigger+IUI = BFN
Cycle 12 repronex + trigger + 2 IUI = BFN
Cycle 13 natural ovaries to stimulated for more meds = BFN
Cycle 14-22 natural cycle with Acupuncture and planning ivf/icsi/DE = ALL BFN
Cycle 23 Clomid 50 mg & Progesterone = BFN
Cycle 24 Natural = BFN
Cycle 25 BCP, SA result 7% morphology = BFN
Cycle 26 BCP and Lupron preparing for IVF
Cycle 27 IVF Acupuncture, DE Retrieval April 7, Transfer April 12 =
7 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 transferred - zero snow babies
BETA # 1 16DPO or 11dp5dt = 569
BETA # 2 19 DPO or 14dp5dt = 1078
BETA # 3 22DPO or 17dp5dt = 2414 TWINS!
BETA # 4 30DPO or 25dp5dt = 12,685 6weeks 3days 2 heartbeats! 114 & 116
Clayton and Colton Born @ 34 weeks 11/22/13
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