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Grrr. Just Have to Vent!


Forum: Trying to Conceive Older Members

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  • 1 Post By vickyblueeyes
  • 3 Post By kayakr
  • 1 Post By Celine
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  #1  
January 10th, 2013, 07:51 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,304
I am in college getting my Early Childhood Degree and last semester I was talking to a couple of women about the fact that my dh and I are trying to have a baby. One of them (who is 34) was being somewhat judgemental about me wanting a baby at my age (41). I just bit my tongue and let it slide.

Well during finals week at school in Dec. she ran into me in the restroom and asked me about my ttc and apologized for what she had said then proceeded to tell me that she is pregnant and NOT happy about it. It felt just like somebody had stabbed me in the heart it hurt so bad.

Well fast forward to today and she is in both classes I have on Tues and Thurs (yesterday was our first day back). I asked her if she felt any better about it and she said no that she isn't that happy about it yet. I told the other 2 women at the table that I wanted a baby and couldn't get pregnant and she didn't want one and is... it just really upsets me when women don't realize what a gift a baby truly is!!!

I just had to get that off my chest. It is going to be hard on me this whole semester in there with her if I don't get my BFP because by the time we get out in May, she will have a big baby bump that I will be envious of and yes I know it is wrong to be jealous but I just can't help it right now.

There are some days that I just sit and because it feels like I am never going to get a BFP.

Thank you ladies for being here for me!! It is sooo nice to have some shoulders to cry on since my dh doesn't get why I get so upset! I can't talk to my mom or my sister about it either because they think I am crazy for wanting to have a baby Any way thanks for the support!!
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  #2  
January 10th, 2013, 10:28 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 958
hun i get where you are coming from .know how you feel , life just seems so unfair, i feel the same ,i get angry and green too when around pregnant woman ,or even younger woman who want a baby ,cause i know they prop wont have the problems im having , i have no advice really apart from ,just smile kindly because one day you will get your bfp and the baby you will have will be very much wanted and loved . its just a matter of time .

i had a thing the other night when i went out with dh and a young wanna be mum , i had to walk out the room lol ,how silly is that !! i just couldnt handle it ,but i know it will get better and we will be blessed just like you will hun ,
katydae88 likes this.
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http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3e6a29

I am 39 and DH is 40, we have 5 kids

George 15

Lexie 14

Lenny 11

Billy 7

Ellie 3

Trying for number 6 but will be number one with DH

DH Kids

Andrew 20

Holly 18

Amelia 4
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  #3  
January 11th, 2013, 06:34 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,625
Oh that is such a hard situation. I'm sorry that you are faced with that. It's unfortunate, to say the least, that some don't see the gift they've been given.

Tell her you'll adopt the baby.
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Leia
Mommy to the most wonderful boy, 8 yrs old.
9/12 at 5wks 3/13 at 11 wks
New Baby Boy Born March 24. Our second miracle!
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  #4  
January 11th, 2013, 06:39 AM
kayakr's Avatar Persuaded by POAS’ers
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,620
Oh boy – I was going to find out where I can find this (34) year old at and kick her butt after class but now that she is pregnant I suppose I can’t do that for you.
Super hard stuff for sure – this is what you have to remember. Her situation is different than yours. Hers doesn’t affect you and yours doesn’t affect her. You really don’t know why she doesn’t want her baby at this time. Maybe she has a crummy DH or hemorrhoids or is completely broke or if she has other kids maybe they are complete terrors. Regardless – you know that her situation is isolated from yours. She doesn’t have your baby in her belly – she has the one God wanted her to have. Yours is still waiting for you and wont go to anyone else but YOU!
BTW – after she has the baby – let me know if you want me to meet her on the playground and make her regret making you feel bad.  Maybe I’ll start the JM mafia! Lol
HUGS!
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Gretchen
Me (43) DH(33) 12 years together - ttc our first together-I have 14yr old DS
Cycles 1-6 = BFN
Cycle 7 SA results abnormal morphology 2%, 50 mg clomid = BFN
Cycle 8 sonogram normal 50 mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 9 SA results abnormal morphology and motility. Count 200 mill, 100mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 10 natural = BFN
Cycle 11 hsg tubes clear, natural + trigger+IUI = BFN
Cycle 12 repronex + trigger + 2 IUI = BFN
Cycle 13 natural ovaries to stimulated for more meds = BFN
Cycle 14-22 natural cycle with Acupuncture and planning ivf/icsi/DE = ALL BFN
Cycle 23 Clomid 50 mg & Progesterone = BFN
Cycle 24 Natural = BFN
Cycle 25 BCP, SA result 7% morphology = BFN
Cycle 26 BCP and Lupron preparing for IVF
Cycle 27 IVF Acupuncture, DE Retrieval April 7, Transfer April 12 =
7 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 transferred - zero snow babies
BETA # 1 16DPO or 11dp5dt = 569
BETA # 2 19 DPO or 14dp5dt = 1078
BETA # 3 22DPO or 17dp5dt = 2414 TWINS!
BETA # 4 30DPO or 25dp5dt = 12,685 6weeks 3days 2 heartbeats! 114 & 116
Clayton and Colton Born @ 34 weeks 11/22/13
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  #5  
January 11th, 2013, 06:47 AM
Celine's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 2,242
I am sorry you have to see this woman so often for a whole semester. That really stinks. It's nice that she apologized to you for her insensitive comment.

Maybe she is going through some stuff that she hasn't shared with you and is scared out of her mind to be pregos. I don't know sounds to me like she is trying to reach out to you. Not that you want to be around her or be her friend.

I just found out another friend of mine is pregos. A surprise. It hurts.

Hang in there.
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  #6  
January 11th, 2013, 07:43 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,625
Quote:
Originally Posted by kayakr View Post
maybe i’ll start the jm mafia!

hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HeatherJ, kayakr and katydae88 like this.
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Leia
Mommy to the most wonderful boy, 8 yrs old.
9/12 at 5wks 3/13 at 11 wks
New Baby Boy Born March 24. Our second miracle!
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  #7  
January 13th, 2013, 03:02 PM
Regular
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 97
SEE---THIS is why I searched the net today to find support from 'older' moms. I don't even want to start the goofball comments from 'well thinking' folks---my mom was 38 when I was born, I'm 38 now-- and I personally see nothing wrong with 'older' ladies who want to conceive a baby...and I have thoughts about the rest, but since I'm new, I'll keep them to myself for now....but I will say I do think a baby IS a gift . You'll get your BFP soon and will be walking around a beautiful & HAPPY pregnant lady!
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  #8  
January 13th, 2013, 08:33 PM
2ligit2quit's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,493
agree with all the above..
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faith allows things to happen. It is the power that comes from
a fearless heart. And when a fearless heart believes, miracles
happen.The Lord will either calm your storm . . . or allow it to rage while
He calms you.
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  #9  
January 13th, 2013, 09:52 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 958
so do i ,just because we are all older does not mean we are tooooo old. we are as old as we feel ,and in my case i dont feel over 29 lol in my head that is hehehe ,
katydae88 likes this.
__________________
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3e6a29

I am 39 and DH is 40, we have 5 kids

George 15

Lexie 14

Lenny 11

Billy 7

Ellie 3

Trying for number 6 but will be number one with DH

DH Kids

Andrew 20

Holly 18

Amelia 4
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  #10  
January 14th, 2013, 06:21 AM
LauraTTCat42's Avatar Proud Host TTC-OM
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: South Africa
Posts: 1,529
Sorry hun, I know that feeling all too well too

I agree with what the other ladies have said.
katydae88 likes this.
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Laura and Anthony








Jun/July2012 - Cycle 11 started charting
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