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I'm going stark raving mad!


Forum: Trying to Conceive Older Members

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  #1  
November 24th, 2013, 03:41 PM
Pray, then pray some more
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 2,080
So I've imagine every worse case scenario. Now I think maybe it's an ectopic pregnancy. Just when I think the spotting is over it starts again. I'm cramping like crazy so much so my uterus is sore. My abdomen is sore. It seems like my left side is more tender than the rest. I don't think my tests are getting darker like the should. To me it's just barely. OMG I'm going crazy. I expect to see AF any minute. This is madness!!!

Rant over.
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  #2  
November 24th, 2013, 04:55 PM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh Rae. Every day is a struggle, I know. I'm sorry you have no answers right now. After I got my first BFP, I stopped temping and testing. I knew if I saw a lighter test or a temp dip I'd make myself nuts.

The spotting has to be making you crazy. The cramping too. Try to relax for an hour or two each day, if that's possible and rest, again, if that's possible.

Prayers for you and your bean!
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Leia 41 yrs young

Wife to Big Bull 40
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Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014

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  #3  
November 24th, 2013, 05:03 PM
Pray, then pray some more
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I wish Leia, it's all I can think about. I wish I could just turn it off. On the outside I appear calm and collected. On the inside I'm a mess. Basically I have a 50/50 chance here. Wow that's helpful.
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  #4  
November 24th, 2013, 10:47 PM
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Rae I really wish there was a way to comfort and ease your mind. I would be a mess if I was pregnant and spotting.

Call your Dr and see if there is more they can do for you. I want to be able to join in on the Aug band wagon.

Keep the faith and pray hard !

Hugs
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  #5  
November 25th, 2013, 03:51 AM
ctymom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thoughts and prayers out to you that everything will be ok! Hang in there! Have you talked to your doctor about it. Sorry if I missed a post if you did.
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  #6  
November 25th, 2013, 07:16 AM
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I am headed to my doctors now. My tests are not progressing. I don't see how this can end well.
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  #7  
November 25th, 2013, 10:28 AM
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That was a complete waste of time. I know nothing more than what I already knew.
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  #8  
November 25th, 2013, 11:07 AM
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Rae, what happened? I hope everything is OK?

HUGS!!!!
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  #9  
November 25th, 2013, 11:41 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Did they at least draw for levels? What did they SAY!!!!!?
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Leia 41 yrs young

Wife to Big Bull 40
Mommy to Big Brother our first Miracle Feb 24 2006
Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014

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  #10  
November 25th, 2013, 02:22 PM
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They didn't say anything. They drew my HCG levels, which I still don't know. She said come back in two days and we'll see if it's rising. She did an in office ultrasound to see if she could see anything and she could not and then said she might send me in for a big ultra sound and see if they could see something. She called them and they said they wouldn't be able to see anything at this point. So here I am. Spotting is heavier and my cervix appear to be open. I believe I'm going to m/c now it's just a waiting game of when. My tests appeared to be light today also.
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  #11  
November 25th, 2013, 06:45 PM
Shelz@_@
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hunnie I so sorry I dont have words for that wish I could skoop you up and hug you.
Renee360 likes this.
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  #12  
November 26th, 2013, 04:44 AM
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Thank you Shelia, I am incredibly sad and scared now. Scared that even if I do get pregnant I will never carry it. My temps dropped this morning. All of my symptoms are gone so I'm just waiting for the heavy bleeding now. The sooner the better.
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  #13  
November 26th, 2013, 05:05 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh Rae, I'm so heartbroken for you. It would have been better if you had never known in the first place I think. I prayed for you last night before I went to bed and first thing this morning.

I wish all the ladies here get their BFPs, but not at this cost. Never at this cost. I'm so sorry honey.

I wish you were right next door so I could sit with you and let you talk through it and cry through it with me, because I understand perfectly what you are going through and I'm so incredibly sorry.

Big Hugs
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Leia 41 yrs young

Wife to Big Bull 40
Mommy to Big Brother our first Miracle Feb 24 2006
Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014

Never Forgetting our Angels 2012, 2013
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  #14  
November 26th, 2013, 07:58 AM
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I'm so heartbroken for you right now. I hate that you're spotting, I hate that you're temp dropped, and I hated that your MCing.

MEGA HUGS!!!!
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  #15  
November 26th, 2013, 01:48 PM
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My HCG levels were really low. Like 22 so this baby never really even got a good start. Maybe tomorrow AF will be here.
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  #16  
November 26th, 2013, 02:19 PM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm sorry Rae. There isn't anything anyone can say to make this easier.

When I MC'd early over a year ago, at the time I tried to tell myself that it was better that it happened right away rather than later in the first trimester, or heaven forbid 2nd or 3rd.

But after it was over, and the bleeding subsided and my levels went back to zero, I cried so hard and felt so wretched and realized it didn't matter when it happened. A loss was a loss, and I wanted that baby.

I'm sorry you are going through this. It won't ever make sense and that makes it all the more difficult - because we need justification, reason and logic. The only thing we can offer you is a shoulder to cry on and alot of listening. Don't be afraid to let it all out. We're here for you.

XXOO
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Leia 41 yrs young

Wife to Big Bull 40
Mommy to Big Brother our first Miracle Feb 24 2006
Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014

Never Forgetting our Angels 2012, 2013
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  #17  
November 26th, 2013, 06:47 PM
Pray, then pray some more
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I have a lot of emotions right now. Denial is one of them. I'll admit my mind wants to go to that angry place with God but I won't allow it. It was like winning a million dollar lottery only to find out they misspelled your name and they money was never yours. Or getting something you wanted really badly only to have it taken away. I know that God is a just God, for that's the only way he can be and still be God. I know that He sees suffering much differently than I do. I know His thoughts are not my thoughts and they much bigger than mine. I know that he loves me. I know that he laid his life down for me. I know that if I allow Him he will provide the very best for me with my very best interest at heart. I trust Him. I would be a fool not to. This morning I came to my computer knowing that this pregnancy was over. I opened up an email and there was a bold verse that said I will make beauty out of your ashes. And I thought ok God, I hear you. But it still hurts. You're right Leia, I've tried to justify it every which way. If it wasn't healthy then this is best. Nature's selection ect. It doesn't matter this still sucks.
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  #18  
November 26th, 2013, 09:00 PM
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Rae I am so sorry.
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  #19  
November 26th, 2013, 09:09 PM
Shelz@_@
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my heart just breaks hun god Im so sorry. hugs
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  #20  
November 27th, 2013, 04:41 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I had a few people say that to me, about nature taking its course, etc. I hated hearing it. I wanted to scream, WHY MY BABY?!?!

Don't try to justify hon, don't try to make yourself feel better, because it just delays the pain until tomorrow. It's ok to feel absolutely horrible about what is happening. It's NOT FAIR. It SUCKS. Cry. It's ok to be mad, those emotions are there for a reason.

Write an entire book for us to read about how much you hurt. We will read it.
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Leia 41 yrs young

Wife to Big Bull 40
Mommy to Big Brother our first Miracle Feb 24 2006
Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014

Never Forgetting our Angels 2012, 2013
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